My friend is so much more attractive than me and it gets me down

So i’ve recently started going to the gym with my 6 foot 3, athletic, better looking- extroverted friend. Honestly, the attention he gets from women, i’ve never seen anything like it. I wouldn’t say i’m jealous as such (but i’m certainly not-not jealous!). People literally come up to him and start a conversation, and women there are so flirtatious when talking to him. The fact that he’s so extroverted, and i’m probably classed as an introvert, makes it even harder to join in the conversation. I’m 5 ft 11, probably above average looks and in decent shape (probably average shape in that particular gym) so i wouldn’t expect myself to stand out or receive any more attention than anybody else, but it gets me down how i’m often just standing there while he talks to a gorgeous woman who’s just instigated a conversation with him about his workout. Also, he isn’t even a **** about it, he always tries his best to get me involved in the conversation, rather than have me stand there like a lemon, which i appreciate a lot. I’m not really sure what the point of this post was, i guess i just want advice on how to deal with the fact that he has better genetics than myself?! He’s a great workout partner, but sometimes i will literally irrelevant, because everybody loves him there, and i just stand awkwardly by the side! He’s also so much more athletic/stronger than myself (he’s a freak) and i’m pretty strong. I guess i just want to know how an introvert like myself can maybe stand out a bit more?

Reply 1

richmaths

This may suck, but you kind of answered your own question. What can you do about the fact he has better genetics than you? Nothing. They are genetics.

The only way to stand out more with your given height, looks being constants etc is to put yourself out there. Just try and join in the conversation and tell yourself that you don't have to find those situations awkward. Even if it feels like fake self-encouragement, over time it will grow into real confidence and that stuff radiates. That is all the girls are picking up on. Treat confidence the same as building muscle: you don't notice a change daily, but then you suddenly look back and are amazed at how far you have come. Try not to worry about things like genetics that nobody has any power over.

Reply 2

Mesopotamian…

Think about it this way: you filter out all the shallow people who are only interested in acknowledging someone with above-average looks :dontknow:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Mesopotamian.

Think about it this way: you filter out all the shallow people who are only interested in acknowledging someone with above-average looks :dontknow:

Doesn’t everybody do that to some extent though?Would you involve yourself in an intimate relationship with somebody with no teeth/ was seen as ‘incredibly ugly to you &/or society?
-just curious

Reply 4

Mesopotamian…

Original post by Anonymous

Doesn’t everybody do that to some extent though?Would you involve yourself in an intimate relationship with somebody with no teeth/ was seen as ‘incredibly ugly to you &/or society?
-just curious

You’re not ugly though, from your OP, the understanding is that your friend is just more attractive. Therefore, all the attention he gets is just superficial and nothing to be that bothered about.

Spoiler

Reply 5

mgi

Original post by Anonymous

Of course it gets you down. Only because you have not yet realised that comparing yourself with someone else is a futile delusion!

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by mgi

Of course it gets you down. Only because you have not yet realised that comparing yourself with someone else is a futile delusion!

Futile, yet sub consciously if not consciously inevitable.

Reply 7

mgi

Original post by Anonymous

Futile, yet sub consciously if not consciously inevitable.

It is not inevitable at all! It comes, if yiuvare really honest with yourself, from your feelings of low self esteem and confidence. Everyone has at least some good positive qualities! Why don't you concentrate on yours and the abilities that nature gave you? Comparing- i repeat- is useless!