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Am I right to feel betrayed by my friends? watch

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    Sorry its long. keep anon please.

    On friday night I had my drink spiked. 7 of us had gone out for a friend's birthday party and when it came to my turn to buy drinks only the birthday girl came with me, which was fine. At the bar I got chatted up as the drinks came. As I was one of the duty drivers I just had a coke. I don't have any alcohol at all when i'm driving. I think the drink was spiked then but I don't know.

    We were all wanting to dance so we drank quite quickly and within about 1/2 hour I started feeling really weird. Kind of like I was drunk, sedated, and everything was happening in slow motion. All the girls started making fun of me saying I had ordered alcohol I was pretending I was drunk. When I didn't stop swaying or anything they didn't believe me that I hadn't had a few shots when I went to the bar.

    After this I don't really remember much but the birthday girl told me that 2 guys came over and basically started having dry sex with me on the dancefloor and I didn't even push them away. When finally a few girls pulled me away i collapsed on the dancefloor. Thats when they took me to the side to figure out what was wrong with me. The bouncer thought I was just drunk and was ready to chuck us out but when he found out I was the driver and hadn't drunk they took us to a room of some sort. I don't remember any of it.

    we spent about 15 min in that room before the 5 of the girls decided to leave saying I had ruined the night and they were going home with the other driver. Only the birthday girl stayed with me. We didn't have enough money to stay at the travel lodge just round the corner and we had no way of getting home. Apparently my friend from school was there with his friends. He was someone I haven't talked to since end of july but he offered to drive my car home. So he and his friend dropped off the birthday girl, then got me into my house, my room, then locked up and posted the car keys and house keys through the letterbox. They walked home from mine.

    I've had a day to find out what happened and the birthday girl proved she's like a true friend. I feel betrayed by the others for just driving off. I've been there for them when they've been at their worst, throwing up in gutters, so drunk they can't remember their own names, yet when I actually needed them they sodded off. Even my old classmate was a better friend then them.
    Now I don't know what to do. I'm currently ignoring their phonecalls because I don't know what to say.

    So tsr, do I lay into them for just ditching me? Behave like everything is fine as this goes against their normal selves? Or just ignore them? I'm going away on my gap year in 2 weeks so the bday girl has told me to just leave it because when I get back I'll be on friendly terms again but I'm not sure.

    If you read through all that, well done and could I have some advice please.
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    They're not nice and I think you should sack them as your friends!
    haha
    no but, erm, realy, that wasn't a ncie thing to do if no one stayed with you what couldv'e happened?
    bottom line is, they shouldve helped and there's no excuses for it.
    Ask em wtf was up and why they acted like that..then just hang round with your other mates?
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    I think they were really wrong to ditch you - something serious could've happened. I think you've found out who will look out for you (the birthday girl) and I'd suggest carrying on ignoring the calls until they have the guts to come up to you and apologise.
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    They were wrong for leaving you, you being pissed is totally justified.
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    I would be so pissed if I was u. You are completely right, I wouldn't even want to see them again after that.
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    you have every right to be annoyed, they left you when you needed them most and if they were in your situation they wouldn't like it if you ditched them.

    i would be tempted to have it out with them but it's up to you.

    either way they aren't worthy of your friendship
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    Personally I'd make them feel slightly guilty for it.

    Like, "Pity nobody stayed to help <birthdaygirl> with me, I got my drink spiked "

    Then just pretend it didn't happen.

    Something sort of similar has happened to me in the past, except it was just my friend getting a lift home instead of walking home with me, giving me an hour and a half walk home alone, drunk. But I just told him he was a **** for it, then dropped it.
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    that is really harsh - i would feel mega betrayed if that had happened to me.
    They should realise that if you were driving, you wouldnt drink - especially if they really know you.
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    Yeah man, lay it to to them!

    I'd never do that man.
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    well at least you know who your real friends are!
    If you are absolutly certain your drink was then go to the police or ask the club manager if they could review the cctv tapes to see.
    Don't say anything until you get back from your gap year as everyone will be wound up and it could make things so much worst. Don't apologize though, it is them that needs to apologize.
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    you should be angry with them as long as you feel like it, but don't ditch them because people make mistakes and i don't think they ever intended for you to get hurt. But don't give them an easy ride at all about this.

    the bday girl is a true friend, maybe she can tell them how you're feeling about this. Good luck with this and your gap year.
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    id lay into them, bad style

    i got my drink spiked once, and me and my mates couldnt get a lift or a taxi home
    they decided to try and get me to walk home, but i collapsed outside a carpet shop on a big stone, whilst they tried to flag down police cars, because a night in the cells would have been more beneficial for me than trying to walk home

    now THAT'S friendship haha
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    YES!

    Who does that....Even if you WERE completely wasted they should not have left you, what did they think you were going to do if you could barely walk? Go into the street and get raped?

    EVEN IF they weren't staying for you they should have stayed for the birthday girl's sake....It's her birthday imagine how she must have been feeling......
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    There were wrong to leave you definitely wrong .... and the fact that you ruined their day please well anyway
    the birthday girl is a true friend and who ever this old class mate is you really owe alot to them and I would start with a some flowers or something just to show gratitude you have been blessed with having 2 fantastic friends you should make sure friendship is strong

    your other lousey friends well i would just talk to them but not get close if you see what i mean don't leave with a low just don't go out of your way to help them
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    Ditch everyone apart from the birthday girl!
    She must have been realy scared herself.
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    Sounds like you have every right to lay into them. To just leave when you were obviously in a state where you didn't know what was going on is a completely selfish thing to do and if they're your mates they shouldn't do that.
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    yeh was wrong of them but if they were toally drunk, they wouldn't have been thinking straight. so long as they apologise and say they were sorry for they way they acted, it was down to the alcohol etc, then i see know reason why it shouldn't be all fine again.
    • #1
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    I'm so glad someone stayed with me. Who knows what would have happened. I love that girl all the more now. The others have lost the trust I had in them.

    The girl who stayed with me has already had a go at them on behalf of me. And she made it clear they were the ones who ruined the night and not me. I've apologised a dozen times over to her even though it wasn't my fault that I got drugged. I still don't feel 100%.

    Well I'm not meeting any of the girls until my leaving party and I probably just yell at them, make them feel guilty, get all the anger off my chest and then have a good time with them. I can't jsut ditch them because its about 10year friendship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm so glad someone stayed with me. Who knows what would have happened. I love that girl all the more now. The others have lost the trust I had in them.

    The girl who stayed with me has already had a go at them on behalf of me. And she made it clear they were the ones who ruined the night and not me. I've apologised a dozen times over to her even though it wasn't my fault that I got drugged. I still don't feel 100%.

    Well I'm not meeting any of the girls until my leaving party and I probably just yell at them, make them feel guilty, get all the anger off my chest and then have a good time with them. I can't jsut ditch them because its about 10year friendship.
    why not?
    they ditched you
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    Yeah agree with others they had no right to blame you for ruining the night and they should have stayed. The birthday girl seems to be a true friend.
    Its so understandable that you're annoyed with them but you know if you give out to them (turns into big fight) would you be annoyed/stressed/worried/constantly thinking about it when you go on your gap year?? They might annoy you further if they dont apologize or no remorse.
    Im not saying you should forget about it either, but if your the sort of person that gets annoyed this could wreck up your year. sometimes its best stay quiet for an easier life???

    What did they say to ur friend? were they sorry? sometimes actions speak louder than words so if you dont say anything to them(like ignore) it might have more of an effect on them??
 
 
 
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