Nothing important. Just feeling sad and want to tell the story.

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Anonymous #1
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English is not my first language, so please forgive me for any unclear or awkward expressions.

I never dated anyone in the first 17.5 years of my life. Initially, there were people interested in me but I rejected them. After I started to make my appearance more boyish in middle school, I didn't even have people to reject for a long period of time.

In the summer before senior year of high school, I happened to start chatting with a guy who I will refer to as N here over phone a lot. After returning to school, we studied together and went out on weekends. I'm unsure about my sexual orientation, but I'm pretty confident that I did love him, so I entered this first romantic relationship in my life.

It was after we entered the relationship that N told me that he had not seen his mother and twin sister for nearly ten years and lived with an abusive father. I was shocked. He acted so normally when talking about family before.

For a moment I wanted to give him motherly love but quickly got rid of the thought as I believed loving him that way will make the relationship unhealthy. Fortunately, I have a loving mother. I decided to introduce N to my mother (without telling her his background). It worked out. My mother treated N as if he was her own son since the first time they met.

One day, my mother told me "Don't express too much love to him. He can't endure it." I didn't take that seriously, but looking back, maybe she had a point.

I just found N becoming more cold and distant. We had more quarrels, during which I discovered his side as an arrogant, manipulative, and uncaring person. I was very disappointed.

One day I texted J, a mutual friend of me and N, "I feel wanting to end the relationship." J replied, "N was having dinner with me an hour ago, and he said exactly the same as what you just said."

So I called N for dinner another day and asked to split up. He agreed. It's weird that I feel the conversation we had that day is probably the most pleasant conversation we ever had. We talked about school, friends, and family.

The relationship only lasted for one and a half month. I didn't expect it to last long from the beginning, but neither did I expect it to end this soon. I can confidently say that I tried my best to make it last. I don't think I did anything fundamentally wrong. If I did, N didn't bother to tell me.

I was quite relieved after ending the relationship and immersed myself in college application. I believed it was the same for N as we both wanted to end it at that point.

Last night, another friend, Y, texted me, saying that he believed that N was actually affected by the relationship a lot. I was not sure how I was supposed to feel. On one side, I felt a bit wishing that this is true as it would show that he at least did once love me. On the other side, I wished that it was not true as I did not want to harm his college application and development of new relationships.

At that very moment when I was considering if I should talk to N to verify the point, Y told me that he had an affection for me for a long time and wanted to date me.

That really hit me as a surprise as I had always taken Y as a good friend. I did not want to risk losing the friendship and did not feel prepared for a new relationship, so I declined. Y said he respected my decision and that we could still act as nothing had happened.

Coincidently, Y also has divorced parents. Maybe I have a special attraction for guys who need motherly love... I don't know if this had impacted my decision to decline Y, but if so, I think it's so unfair for him.

Today I and Y just acted as nothing had happened as he proposed. I also asked J about N, and J said he is totally fine.

Now I just kept feeling sad without knowing why. I don't know who to share as Y was practically the only person I trusted enough to share this kind of emotion, so I'm posting here.

Thanks if you read all of these.
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TaylaMarie
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good story
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Theloniouss
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It's normal to feel sad after a relationship ends, you just have to accept it and not let it consume you (or do anything foolish to avoid it).


One a side note, this is one of the best posts I've seen in the relationships forum.
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*****deadness
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(Original post by Theloniouss)
It's normal to feel sad after a relationship ends, you just have to accept it and not let it consume you (or do anything foolish to avoid it).


One a side note, this is one of the best posts I've seen in the relationships forum.
Yeah, and in the end N is fine now, so don't worry too much about it.

By the way, what makes you say it's the best? Is there a particular side of the post that stands out?
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Theloniouss
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(Original post by *****deadness)
Yeah, and in the end N is fine now, so don't worry too much about it.

By the way, what makes you say it's the best? Is there a particular side of the post that stands out?
It's written in good English, separated into paragraphs and you actually handled your issues properly
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*****deadness
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(Original post by Theloniouss)
It's written in good English, separated into paragraphs and you actually handled your issues properly
True, didn't occur to me but now you mentioned that there are posts that are more, paranoid let's say, and less organized
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by TaylaMarie)
good story
Thanks!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Theloniouss)
It's written in good English, separated into paragraphs and you actually handled your issues properly
OMG I'm flattered! This gives me a boost of confidence in English lol
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