Why am I bad at dating?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
So, today I had this date from a girl met on Tinder, we had to walk outdoor as we are in Tier 2. It was actually very cold, especially when we sat on a bench.

We basically talked for 3 hours about aspects of political theory (we both go to a renewed university and have a deep interest in the matter). The conversation flew well.

However, at the end of date she says that the date of 'quite nice', which I felt like was the most polite way to say no, we are not getting a second one. She is an international student so she won't be back till January.

What did I do wrong?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So, today I had this date from a girl met on Tinder, we had to walk outdoor as we are in Tier 2. It was actually very cold, especially when we sat on a bench.

We basically talked for 3 hours about aspects of political theory (we both go to a renewed university and have a deep interest in the matter). The conversation flew well.

However, at the end of date she says that the date of 'quite nice', which I felt like was the most polite way to say no, we are not getting a second one. She is an international student so she won't be back till January.

What did I do wrong?
Sometimes two people just don’t don’t hit it off. She might have enjoyed the chat and everything else but just not really felt the first date connection.

maybe she would like a second date - quite nice isn’t definitely doom. Maybe if it hadn’t been so cold she would’ve called it nice? Plus if she is foreign then perhaps she doesn’t quite grasp the bad connotations of adding “quite”
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Moonlight rain
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#3
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Politics on the first date, bruv maybe thats why
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Anonymous #1
#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
where are you from, are you brown? that could be why
I feel this question is actually somewhat racist. But no, I am not, I am from a Western EU country. Why?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sometimes two people just don’t don’t hit it off. She might have enjoyed the chat and everything else but just not really felt the first date connection.

maybe she would like a second date - quite nice isn’t definitely doom. Maybe if it hadn’t been so cold she would’ve called it nice? Plus if she is foreign then perhaps she doesn’t quite grasp the bad connotations of adding “quite”
I see, that makes sense, thanks.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel this question is actually somewhat racist. But no, I am not, I am from a Western EU country. Why?
Because brown guys find dating harder as most girls go for white guys.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Because brown guys find dating harder as most girls go for white guys.
Right, well that is definitely not the issue here, but thanks for your input.
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Bang Outta Order
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(Original post by Anonymous)
where are you from, are you brown? that could be why
L
M
F
A
O
(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel this question is actually somewhat racist. But no, I am not, I am from a Western EU country. Why?
what does "wEsTeRn Eu" mean tho
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TJ1997
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Because brown guys find dating harder as most girls go for white guys.
Potentially, but most girls go for guys with confidence and the right attitude. Obsessing over skin colour won’t do you any good..
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_gcx
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I wouldn't take this as a straight no but if she acted generally disinterested then yeah you're probably right.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So, today I had this date from a girl met on Tinder, we had to walk outdoor as we are in Tier 2. It was actually very cold, especially when we sat on a bench.

We basically talked for 3 hours about aspects of political theory (we both go to a renewed university and have a deep interest in the matter). The conversation flew well.

However, at the end of date she says that the date of 'quite nice', which I felt like was the most polite way to say no, we are not getting a second one. She is an international student so she won't be back till January.

What did I do wrong?
1 3 hours outside in December is too long. Please tell me you spent most of the time inside somewhere warm?

2 Sitting on a bench outside in Decmeber is OK for 2 minutes. Then get up and walk.

3 It's not a job interview. Don't ask boring job interview questions. Conversation doesn't have to be logical. It doesn't have to be serious. It can go off on crazy tangents.

4 Don't talk about Political Theory. That's boring. Talk about something relevant to her. Point out something about her that she might not have known. For example how she appears to be risk averse, which is good from a safety point of view, but not so good from a going on adventures point of view.

5 Make sure she's aware you have a penis. Flirt. Use sexual innuendoes and double entendres.

6 Aim to escalate towards sex in little baby steps. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Starting with touching her on somewhere like her hand or arm in a brief incidental way. Then backing off. Then later leaving your hand on her longer. And so on.

7 Do something fun / interesting exciting.

8 Look to break some harmless rule when you are with her.

9 In the course of 3 hours you should aim to be in more than 1 place with more than 1 activity type.

10 Don't be afraid to end the date on a high. It's better if you end it than she does.

11 Afterwards, text or phone her to thank her for the great time you spent together.

12 Then start messaging or phoning her with a view to arranging your next date. This may include you sending her messages that remind her what a great life you have, preferably in a funny, non boastful way. As a way to sell yourself is she is nit showing much interest.

13 Do not during the first 10 dates ever ask her what she thinks of you, or whether she wants to be your girlfriend. As that comes over as needy / desperate. Avoid coming over as needy or desperate.

14 with her her saying the date was "quite nice" best response is for you to agree. Say, yes it was quite nice. But that you're looking for more than quite nice on your dates. Which is why for the next date you'd suggest meeting at ... for .... Which would be a lot more unusual / fun / interesting.
EG meeting at St Pauls to go up the dome.

15 Overall focus on her having a great time. Don't focus on your needs or insecurities.

16 If things don't work out, move onto the next woman. In fact move on to the next candidate now during the Christmas break. Whilst keeping in contact with her. It's fine to date more than one woman at the same time when you are at the getting to know each other and evaluating each other stage.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
where are you from, are you brown? that could be why
You’re delusional asf
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