The Student Room Group

Old man- creepy or no? what should i do?

I volenteer at a charity shop for DofE, there's this old dude, like 80+ at least, he always there when i go on saturdays. He's nice and sweet, but he creeps me out. He says stuff like "i missed you" and he even gave me his number and address. He wants me to do the same, i really dont want to. Can i let him down gently or flat out say no? Im so awkward i usually just say yes to what he says. He hasn't done anything bad, he speaks slowly and he is nice, he did stroke my hair once tho. what do i dooooo
Oh gosh. Maybe you remind him of a grandchild or something :s-smilie:

I think you should let him down gently..

I’m not quite sure :s-smilie:
Just say that you're really thankful for his offer but you can't accept older people's numbers. Or say something like I would love to but I don't think it's a good idea.
Reply 3
sh*t...I'm sure he won't manage to harm you or if he did you can overpower him. Can you talk to the manager there to have a word with him?
Reply 4
Original post by gracieee16
Just say that you're really thankful for his offer but you can't accept older people's numbers. Or say something like I would love to but I don't think it's a good idea.

That sounds good, ill probably say something along those lines. Whatever happens it'll probably be fine, i dont have to volenteer forever. Thanks btw :smile:
Original post by summerberry19
Oh gosh. Maybe you remind him of a grandchild or something :s-smilie:

nah mate this old codger was tryin to get his freak on
Original post by Anonymous
nah mate this old codger was tryin to get his freak on

:borat:
He is probably extremely lonely.

Don't put yourself in a vulnerable position, he may be deceptively strong.

Assert your boundaries, don't feel compelled to do things you aren't comfortable with. The fairest thing you can do for him is to make it clear that you don't want to go to his house.
Ur doing Dofe - very nice!

hmmm, he seems a bit off ngl. I would not tell him ur number and address - it's better that way and it would keep u safe just in case he's dodgy.....
Maybe say I would love to but I don't think its such a good idea to or smth like that.
Maybe tell someone else who works at the charity shop about it? - they may be able to help.
Im sorry if this isn't much help - I've never been in a position like this before so idk much.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
That sounds good, ill probably say something along those lines. Whatever happens it'll probably be fine, i dont have to volenteer forever. Thanks btw :smile:

You don't have to keep volunteering here that's true but you want to learn how to defend yourself and set boundaries. Your boundaries matter (whatever they are) and you have every right to exert them and stand up for yourself to anyone.
he may be wealthy & will leave you £££ if you are nice to him :dontknow:
You should talk to a manager if it escalates. I would talk to someone now honestly.
remember that the Duke himself is an old codger... probably older than the one you have attracted :yep:
Original post by glassalice
He is probably extremely lonely.

Don't put yourself in a vulnerable position, he may be deceptively strong.

Assert your boundaries, don't feel compelled to do things you aren't comfortable with. The fairest thing you can do for him is to make it clear that you don't want to go to his house.

Yeah, defo, ill try my best to assert boundaries, but like u said i don't wanna be mean cus he does seem lonely and kinda nice. Got a whole week to think it all thru, anxiety will keep reminding me xD
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, defo, ill try my best to assert boundaries, but like u said i don't wanna be mean cus he does seem lonely and kinda nice. Got a whole week to think it all thru, anxiety will keep reminding me xD

Tell the manager asap, and if this man comes into the shop when you are there, alert another member of staff and keep away from him. Involving other adults will not only will improve your situation, it will help other youngsters who could be volunteering there in future so they don't get pestered. Speak up!

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