Personal statement

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warmsponge
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
hi guys im wondering if my p.s. is good enough to help me get me into sixth form, i havent finished it yet but any advice on it so far? i still have to write about my other chosen alevel (law) and then commitments, achievements and hobbies

I have always been a curious child, hence why I chose History as one of my GCSE options. I have enjoyed learning about the topics in class, which is why I would like to carry on my interests into sixth form. I think that studying History for A-level will also help me improve my research skills and build on my problem-solving skills that I have already attained from CCF, DofE Bronze which I have already achieved, and Silver that I am currently doing. I can transfer these skills across to my other subjects and will be good life skills for my career path.

Although I haven't studied Politics at GCSE I chose it as one of my A-levels because I have seen it broadly over the media as well as it being significant in the modern day, it is relevant to nearly everyone today. Another reason I would like to study Politics is because I think that the skills that I will learn will be beneficial to me in the long-term such as analytical and debating skills are useful to have as well as communication being a desirable skill.
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grapefruitabc
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#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
(Original post by warmsponge)
hi guys im wondering if my p.s. is good enough to help me get me into sixth form, i havent finished it yet but any advice on it so far? i still have to write about my other chosen alevel (law) and then commitments, achievements and hobbies

I have always been a curious child, hence why I chose History as one of my GCSE options. I have enjoyed learning about the topics in class, which is why I would like to carry on my interests into sixth form. I think that studying History for A-level will also help me improve my research skills and build on my problem-solving skills that I have already attained from CCF, DofE Bronze which I have already achieved, and Silver that I am currently doing. I can transfer these skills across to my other subjects and will be good life skills for my career path.

Although I haven't studied Politics at GCSE I chose it as one of my A-levels because I have seen it broadly over the media as well as it being significant in the modern day, it is relevant to nearly everyone today. Another reason I would like to study Politics is because I think that the skills that I will learn will be beneficial to me in the long-term such as analytical and debating skills are useful to have as well as communication being a desirable skill.
It is good, here are some potential improvements
1)First sentence: could you be more specific (why do you need to be curious about history -eg: to discover into the past/interest)
2) Second sentence: which topics do you enjoy? Do any of them link to the A level history course modules you want to take? What did you find most interesting?
3) 3rd sentence: could you reword this so you are talking about why you want to do history rather than what you could get out of it (eg I am eager to further my research skills...)
4) "{...} problem-solving skills that I have already attained from CCF, DofE Bronze [which I have already achieved], and Silver that I am currently doing." try to make this sentence easier to read, eg punctuation

You are doing well, but you could do with showing slightly more passion for these subjects rather than choosing your options so that you can have a list of skills.

These are just suggestions, you can disregard theses if you want as you have a good personal statement that should get you into sixth form
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warmsponge
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#3
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#3
(Original post by grapefruitabc)
It is good, here are some potential improvements
1)First sentence: could you be more specific (why do you need to be curious about history -eg: to discover into the past/interest)
2) Second sentence: which topics do you enjoy? Do any of them link to the A level history course modules you want to take? What did you find most interesting?
3) 3rd sentence: could you reword this so you are talking about why you want to do history rather than what you could get out of it (eg I am eager to further my research skills...)
4) "{...} problem-solving skills that I have already attained from CCF, DofE Bronze [which I have already achieved], and Silver that I am currently doing." try to make this sentence easier to read, eg punctuation

You are doing well, but you could do with showing slightly more passion for these subjects rather than choosing your options so that you can have a list of skills.

These are just suggestions, you can disregard theses if you want as you have a good personal statement that should get you into sixth form
okay thanks so much! ill try add these into it
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tinygirl96
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#4
Report 1 year ago
#4
This is a suggestion

Be more specific about your love of history (come up with a few different reasons).

Second paragraph- expand briefly on some of the topics you did that you liked etc
Reword the third sentence totally so that you do not come off as desperate however. Focus on skills etc.
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