Could some please mark this out of 22 for my higher history-

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Emilyrze
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The Nazis took power in Germany in January 1933 in the aftermath of the Great depression and Wall Street crash, although it could be argued for that the nazis gained power in other ways. Some factors included economic achievements, fear and state terrorism, propaganda, social policies and foreign policies.

One way that nazis took power was because of economic achievements. The nazis would promise work, bread and did give the Germans that however, Jews were not included in the unemployment figure of 0 from 6 million as young men were required for army work but were not paid. The German labour service was to encourage holidays but working hours were long and wages were low. Germans were treated in ways like if they were paid 5 marks a week they would get a new Volkswagen which did not happen as it got spent on the weapons production for the nazis. The policy of protection meant no wealth traveled outside Germany, this had short term success but could not be sustained. It could be argued that hitler tried to distract German citizens from the economic issue as it is difficult to know how Germans really felt at the time.

Fear and state terrorism included the reign of terror that was conducted by the Getapo and SS which estimated that 800,000 people actively resisted the nazis during their time in power, however, 500,000 people lost their lives. The Nazis established a police state in Germany. Hitler unleashed in the reign of terror with the intention of destroying all Opposition and concentration camps were set up for political prisoners and other people. There is no freedom of speech as law courts were under Nazi control and newspapers were censored. The SS and Gestapo Acted as an answer police force written on any opposition on spying on German citizens. The Nazis create a web of fear which presented citizens from speaking out against the Nazis for the fear of death.

Propaganda is another way that the nazis gained power as they would use methods such as rallies, posters, radio, films and music. Radios were provided in all German homes so it easy for the nazis to get their message across to the Germans especially that there was few radios stations to listen to. One million people once attended one of the Nuremberg rallies showing how powerful the nazis became. It could be argued by historians that propaganda was the most successful factor in the nazis staying in power while would say it was the least effective,Historian Welsh said “propaganda could not have sustained the nazi party”.

Social policies included youth, churches and anti-semitism. The hitler youth was set up by the nazis to provide extra activities such as hiking, marching and camping. The young Germans loved the activities and uniform which gave them a sense of importance. In 1936 the hitler youth was made law membership and parents could be sent to concentration camps if it wasn’t followed. However, some groups did fight against the hitler youth, the pirates and the swing kids were just two of those. The nazis set up their own religion “German Cristian church” for people to worship hitler instead of god. Hitler also made it so that police, doctors and lawyers were all nazis no one could complain. Under Nuremberg laws Jews lost their citizenship, banning Jews from public facilities. Kristallnacht also occurred where 400 Jews were killed and thousands were put into concentration camps.

Foreign policies included tearing the treaty of Versailles, reoccupation of the Rhineland 1936, and the Anschluss with Austria 1938. There was a process rearming Germany, the navy, army and the airforce as well as creating thousands of jobs building weapons. Between 1933 and 1939 hitler restored the international power and status of Germany. Historian welsh argues that much of hitlers success was due to his foreign policies.

In conclusion, the nazis were able to stay in power from 1933 to 1939 mainly due to their economic achievements. However, hitler did have genuine popularity with the Germans but a lot of the supporters were due to fear of totalitarian state
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Sinnoh
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(Original post by Emilyrze)
The Nazis took power in Germany in January 1933 in the aftermath of the Great depression and Wall Street crash, although it could be argued for that the nazis gained power in other ways. Some factors included economic achievements, fear and state terrorism, propaganda, social policies and foreign policies.

One way that nazis took power was because of economic achievements. The nazis would promise work, bread and did give the Germans that however, Jews were not included in the unemployment figure of 0 from 6 million as young men were required for army work but were not paid. The German labour service was to encourage holidays but working hours were long and wages were low. Germans were treated in ways like if they were paid 5 marks a week they would get a new Volkswagen which did not happen as it got spent on the weapons production for the nazis. The policy of protection meant no wealth traveled outside Germany, this had short term success but could not be sustained. It could be argued that hitler tried to distract German citizens from the economic issue as it is difficult to know how Germans really felt at the time.

Fear and state terrorism included the reign of terror that was conducted by the Getapo and SS which estimated that 800,000 people actively resisted the nazis during their time in power, however, 500,000 people lost their lives. The Nazis established a police state in Germany. Hitler unleashed in the reign of terror with the intention of destroying all Opposition and concentration camps were set up for political prisoners and other people. There is no freedom of speech as law courts were under Nazi control and newspapers were censored. The SS and Gestapo Acted as an answer police force written on any opposition on spying on German citizens. The Nazis create a web of fear which presented citizens from speaking out against the Nazis for the fear of death.

Propaganda is another way that the nazis gained power as they would use methods such as rallies, posters, radio, films and music. Radios were provided in all German homes so it easy for the nazis to get their message across to the Germans especially that there was few radios stations to listen to. One million people once attended one of the Nuremberg rallies showing how powerful the nazis became. It could be argued by historians that propaganda was the most successful factor in the nazis staying in power while would say it was the least effective,Historian Welsh said “propaganda could not have sustained the nazi party”.

Social policies included youth, churches and anti-semitism. The hitler youth was set up by the nazis to provide extra activities such as hiking, marching and camping. The young Germans loved the activities and uniform which gave them a sense of importance. In 1936 the hitler youth was made law membership and parents could be sent to concentration camps if it wasn’t followed. However, some groups did fight against the hitler youth, the pirates and the swing kids were just two of those. The nazis set up their own religion “German Cristian church” for people to worship hitler instead of god. Hitler also made it so that police, doctors and lawyers were all nazis no one could complain. Under Nuremberg laws Jews lost their citizenship, banning Jews from public facilities. Kristallnacht also occurred where 400 Jews were killed and thousands were put into concentration camps.

Foreign policies included tearing the treaty of Versailles, reoccupation of the Rhineland 1936, and the Anschluss with Austria 1938. There was a process rearming Germany, the navy, army and the airforce as well as creating thousands of jobs building weapons. Between 1933 and 1939 hitler restored the international power and status of Germany. Historian welsh argues that much of hitlers success was due to his foreign policies.

In conclusion, the nazis were able to stay in power from 1933 to 1939 mainly due to their economic achievements. However, hitler did have genuine popularity with the Germans but a lot of the supporters were due to fear of totalitarian state
It would help to know what the question actually is. Is it "to what extent was the Wall Street Crash and the Great Depression the most important factor in the Nazis keeping in power?" or something like that?

(I'm going to assume it is, or at least that it's asking you to assess the importance of certain factors)

I'm not a teacher, I've never marked essays so I won't give a number that might not mean anything. I can give some advice though.

The main problem with this essay is that you fall in to the trap of simply telling a story. You start your paragraphs off by stating a fact and you come across as simply repeating everything you know about it, and you don't seem to be linking back to the question. If an essay is good, it should be clear what the question is just by reading the answers - and it's not clear to me.

So instead of starting off by stating a fact, like "fear and state terrorism included the reign of terror...", start with an argument - something you would have to actually back up with evidence to prove your point, such as "Repression of political opponents and state terrorism were crucial in maintaining power for the Nazi party, as evidenced by..." or whatever the question is. Do you see the difference there?

You should also include some kind of counterargument and I see you did with the paragraph of propaganda, but that paragraph is begging the question 'why?' If you've been talking about the methods used by the Nazis and the popularity of the rallies, why could it be argued that it wasn't effective? What's the evidence? And then you use the evidence for and the evidence against to come to a conclusion about the effectiveness of propaganda.

You can honestly do without name-dropping historians, it's about what you know and how well you can argue your point. Quoting Welsh didn't seem to add anything to your arguments aside from make it weaker when talking about propaganda.

I've moved this to the History forum.
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Emilyrze
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Thank you, I did forget to add the question but it was along the lines of what you said. This was only a draft of what I had been done as I had to do it timed.
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ageshallnot
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(Original post by Emilyrze)
Thank you, I did forget to add the question but it was along the lines of what you said. This was only a draft of what I had been done as I had to do it timed.
The precise wording of the question is important.
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