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Worried that I won't mix in at uni (race) watch

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    First I'd like to say that I do not mean to offend anyone, but I am genuinely concerned if I'll fit in at uni.

    I'm Indian and I'm not very in touch with my own culture, and a lot, if not all, my Indian friends are like this too. Two of my friends posted their freshers pics on facebook earlier and they just look really out of place, and like they're not wanted. Everyone else is white and they're the only Asian there. Yeah everyone is all smiles and stuff, but like I could see the look of desperation in my mate's eyes to try and fit in with everyone.

    I'm not saying this is what happens everywhere, but I'm worried I might not fit in with my hallmates, or even people in general. I don't want to just stick around with asians, because I've read that it looks unfriendly and makes you appear unapproachable to everyone else. I want to make a whole different lot of friends, but I've got this bad feeling that I'll be the odd one out.

    Also what's making this worse is that I'm watching The Football Factory now, and since the place I'm going to is big on football this gets me thinking I might be out of place or even be on the end of racial abuse even more. Even though I'm a football fan. I want to go to the matches and stuff, but I don't think I'd get accepted by others there.

    Please, again no offence, just wondering what your thoughts are and whether I've got the wrong end of the stick and I'll be fine instead, or not? Is racial tension still present? Is your uni/circle of friends multicultural? Also I am going to Leicester if this helps.
    • #2
    #2

    Yeah I'm in the same boat. I had my first day at uni today and I had Asians being friendly and talkative which I was cool with but I realised that it groups me into an Asian group which I don't want. I'd like to make friends with everyone.
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    Hmmm I don't really know what to say
    When I was at Middlesex Uni there were mostly white people and in my "group" there were just 3 white girls and me..
    Oh I am half white and half asian btw

    but I didn't feel out of place as such maybe cos I look more italian ..

    You should just be finally with everyone and see what happens
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    Srsly, don't worry about it :/ I used to attend a private school that was almost entirely white, and yet the one of the most popular gusy in my year? indian. Unis are huge...you'll be fine
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    At uni i found race means nothing.
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    Just behave normally...don't try and fit in....otherwise you stand out.
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    To be honest I find your insecurity to be the thing that'll make you stick out. one of the more popular guys in my college was Malaysian, and in my freshers week we have a multicultural flat and everyone is getting on fine. If you go to uni with an inferiority complex then it'll be ******, regardless of whether it's about your race or gender or whatever.

    You're discriminating against yourself on the grounds of race really, if I was to say "I don't think my mate Patil will fit in because everyone else is going to be white" I'd sound like a complete racist!!!
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    From what I've seen it's the Asians who make it the issue..not white English! They mostly stick to their own groups..not saying all of them because some don't and have no problems! Just stop seeing it as an issue and it won't be..
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    (Original post by Usman938)
    At uni i found race means nothing.
    At uni I found all the asians stick together, all the chinese stick together, all the indians stick together. All the africans stick together. There is no real mixing as such apart from the odd one or two. As for the cause, well I can't say.
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    (Original post by Holty-Dave)
    At uni I found all the asians stick together, all the chinese stick together, all the indians stick together. All the africans stick together. There is no real mixing as such apart from the odd one or two. As for the cause, well I can't say.

    Jussst wondering what "group" would a half white, half asian person go?? :rolleyes:
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    generally they tend to hang out with the other asians. I dunno maybe its just a culture thing but I don't like it and find it almost intimidating. Rather people mix.
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    I can't talk about uni yet as I haven't started (I start on Saturday), but I can talk about college.

    At the first college I went to, everyone was split into groups - mostly on racial terms. I'm not sure why but in the canteen it was really clear that people were not welcome in other groups. Whilst I certainly don't feel that way and was shocked by the apparent system in place (put there by the students rather than anyone else) it was intimidating, walking past huge groups - it seemed hostile. Especially as I had only made a few friends (it was only the first week), meaning we felt quite vulnerable. I definately didn't expect it and hopefully won't witness it elsewhere.

    The second college I went to (and stayed at lol) had a great mix. Everyone was friendly with each other and we all had friendship groups that were fluid and mixed racially (fluid in the sense that people could join the lunch table or whatever without feeling uncomfortable). Whilst the asian students did hang out together, they also hung out with everyone else - no one cared about your background, religion or race, rather we made friends with people we enjoyed spending time with.

    Basically, what I am saying is, try to be open minded. There is nothing wrong with being friends with people of the same racial background but just talk to other people as well. When you get to university, lots of people won't know anyone and they will be glad to have someone to talk to and hang out with. Just be yourself and hopefully, you'll be having an amazing time before the first day is out.
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    What does the football factory have to do with this lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First I'd like to say that I do not mean to offend anyone, but I am genuinely concerned if I'll fit in at uni.

    I'm Indian and I'm not very in touch with my own culture, and a lot, if not all, my Indian friends are like this too. Two of my friends posted their freshers pics on facebook earlier and they just look really out of place, and like they're not wanted. Everyone else is white and they're the only Asian there. Yeah everyone is all smiles and stuff, but like I could see the look of desperation in my mate's eyes to try and fit in with everyone.

    I'm not saying this is what happens everywhere, but I'm worried I might not fit in with my hallmates, or even people in general. I don't want to just stick around with asians, because I've read that it looks unfriendly and makes you appear unapproachable to everyone else. I want to make a whole different lot of friends, but I've got this bad feeling that I'll be the odd one out.

    Also what's making this worse is that I'm watching The Football Factory now, and since the place I'm going to is big on football this gets me thinking I might be out of place or even be on the end of racial abuse even more. Even though I'm a football fan. I want to go to the matches and stuff, but I don't think I'd get accepted by others there.

    Please, again no offence, just wondering what your thoughts are and whether I've got the wrong end of the stick and I'll be fine instead, or not? Is racial tension still present? Is your uni/circle of friends multicultural? Also I am going to Leicester if this helps.
    Hmmm, I'm not exactly sure what your concerns are here. :confused: Leicester is a heavily populated Asian city, so I wouldn't entirely worry about racism, if you mean that you'll be the only Asian amongst white people. Which uni are you exactly going to, the University of Leicester?

    I personally, have never expericed racial tension from white people in Leicester, more so from Asian people themselves, but that's an entirely different story. If you're worried about not having enough Asian friends, don't be...and if you're worried about being the only Asian in the village, you won't be.
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    You don't necessarily have to get on with your hallmates and it might be that you feel out of place because of differing habits, interests than race. When you join societies and go to events etc you are more likely to find like minded people and interact with people from all walks.
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    I've never had any problems with racial abuse at football games. So don't worry about it.
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    You say that the other Asians were friendly to you and made you feel included. It was their friendliness that you liked, rather than their race. Well why not try being friendly to other people of different races yourself? Then those people will think of you as a kind, inviting person. You don't need to wait to be invited to groups, just make friends with people you like, whether they're individuals or groups. The nice girl next to you in a lecture: say hi, ask if she wants to get lunch after. Or the guy next door to you in halls: pop in and ask if he wants to share dinner cause you made too much.
    If you're really worried that you won't make friends with people of other races, just be proactive about making friends.
    I'm half Indian and most of my friends are white, not that their races or ethnic backgrounds make much difference to me. That's because they're people I get on with who share similar interests to me. Join societies and everyone will be racially mixed; friendships will be made on terms of shared interests rather than skin colour.
    • #3
    #3

    im chinese and have lived in england all my life so dont even have any chinese friends! i only speak english and dont even have chinese friends.... im scared that when i go to uni, that people will just think i cant speak english and not approach me the way they would as others... but if i was to hang around with chinese people i wouldnt feel comfortable atall!
 
 
 
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