Does A Break-Up Ever Get Easier?

I split up with my girlfriend 2 days ago. She cheated on me (had a one night stand).

I thought I was over it, and the past 2 days I havn't given it much thought but right now I am hurting bad. I text her last night and told her there is a chance for a 2nd chance if she wants, and that we need to talk. I really wish I didn't do that! because thats what made things worse.

I am sleeping on a sofa bed in my brothers house until January and then I am going to get my own place.

I have also started a flyer design company from the house. I purchased the domain name and got all the flyer templates set up and he even lives directly opposite to a printing company that have gave me awsome quotes! So all that is in the pipeline, but I have no drive or dedication at the moment.

I am down that I cannot afford to live in my own place. I am down because I just want to cry, but I can't. I am down because I have to go uni and I feel so upset at the moment (thats 2 train rides). I am down because everything is a mess at the moment.

Will this ever get easier? How can I help myself make it easier? I just don't know what to do, my head is a mess right now.

Reply 1

cascadingstylez

OP

18

To note I am not even eating properly at the moment. I also keep having sexual dreams about her which is really pissing me off. I was with her for 4 years and about 8/9 months, its a heck of a long time to be with someone. To have them not around all of a sudden makes things really hard.

I have been texting her mom all morning asking how her daghter feels about me and stuff. She said her daughter does not know what she wants. At that I text her back and said I havn't got time to wait around feeling hurt and cut up so it's best we both move on.

I am actually fine now (I edited this post an hour after I first posted it). I know where I stand and I know I have to get over it. Whereas this morning and last night I was clinging to a tiny bit of hope, which was probably causing me to be upset.

I just really hope it gets easier over time. I am not happy about living on a sofa, although that will change in January. I think I am just going to try and make lots of friends at university. It's a shame there are no girls on the course :frown:

or very little anyway.

I am just going to focus on setting up the new company from home, earn some income and move into a decent room.

Reply 2

Red_Imp

Been there mate, it's tough but it does get easier. The key is to stay busy and occupy yourself as much as possible becuase if your mind isn't kept busy you will naturally think about her.

Reply 3

KayleeLand

16

Yes you're in a really hard situation at the moment, but it will get easier, it just takes time. Try not to focus on other girls, focus on yourself! Have some you time! Remember that it was your girlfriend who was in the wrong and that you deserve someone better. Keep strong x hugs x

Reply 4

Ruthie!

16

for such a long relationship are you sure its not worth trying to save it?
I don't want to make things harder, but you were together for such a long time for something like a ?drunken mistake? to ruin surely?

Reply 5

Flossy_

i am in a similiar-ish situation?

i dont know.

i broke up with my ex gf for real about a week and a bit ago. for a while i was totally devestated. i wont go into it on here because i dont want to, it was just a messy relationship and it had to end. at the time i was so confused and hurt and annoyed over it, but right now i find the best thing to do is to be totally selfish. yes selfish. i am being selfish and it's working like a miracle :biggrin:

focus on YOU and everything you want to do and go out lots with your friends, that's what i'm doing. and to be honest i do feel a lot happier already, more than i thought i would. i guess in a month or two the long term effects of the breakup will kick in for real, but for now im pretty okay with the whole thing. if you dont think about the relationship or anything to do with it then it doesnt play on your mind and it's not as hard.

hope that's helped..and i hope you feel better soon :smile:

Reply 6

anna_spanner89

It so does..I know how you feel, i broke up last week and i wasn't eating for 4 days...had dreams about him aswell, texted him..cried, i was a total wreck. 1 week on..yeah i'm not better and i will put my hands up to that, but...when i look back now, emotionally i've made progress. I realised getting back together ISN'T what i NEED, it may be what i wanted..but what i needed was someone who wassn't undecided of his feelings for me, walk away at every opportunity and not be there for me when i needed him...and getting back together would just leave me with feeling insecure about the relationship.

Focus on YOU, do you want a girl who will cheat on you? do you NEED a girl who will do that to you....think of yourself and your future and all your questions will be anwered. PLUS go out with friends, leave your phone at home and have fun. It will get better, time is a great healer you just need to remember in life theres ups and downs..and the ups will come soon, but you need the downs to appreciate the ups :smile:

Reply 7

*sparkles*

8

OK, well that's a bit of a difference from your first post about this, saying you were fine etc. I guess it must just have taken a while to really hit you.
Yes, it does get easier. I went through a bad break-up during my a-levels and I found I had no drive, I kept thinking about him, just didn't feel like anything was worth doing. I thought things would never get better, but they do. Try to stay positive, keep yourself busy with uni, go out lots. Tbh, even if you did get back with her, I think it would be very hard to ever go back to how you were, and hard as it is, what you had has been ruined. There will probably be loads of times where you're feeling ok, then suddenly you just feel really really down, but stay strong.

Reply 8

Atomik

9

cascadingstylez

It's a shame there are no girls on the course :frown:

or very little anyway.

The last thing you need is another girl/girlfriend. That would result in confusion.

Also, howwww could you think you were over your ex after 2 days? That's crazy, man. Can take months to get over somebody, especially if you were with them for years, like yourself.

Anyway, good luck. Sorry to hear about the cheating, that royally sucks. Just try to look at the positive things you have in your life right now...

Reply 9

anna_spanner89

Atomik

The last thing you need is another girl/girlfriend. That would result in confusion.

Also, howwww could you think you were over your ex after 2 days? That's crazy, man. Can take months to get over somebody, especially if you were with them for years, like yourself.

Anyway, good luck. Sorry to hear about the cheating, that royally sucks. Just try to look at the positive things you have in your life right now...

sometimes people feel nothing..just numb, i remember i did then about 3 days in i felt sooo many emotions, anger, hurt, deceit, happiness, jealousy...loads, in a way they just come all at once in phases

Reply 10

cascadingstylez

OP

18

keeping busy helps, and am going out with friends soon.

I am at uni right now and I feel fine. It is the alone time thats worse.

Reply 11

KayleeLand

16

cascadingstylez

keeping busy helps, and am going out with friends soon.

I am at uni right now and I feel fine. It is the alone time thats worse.

Yeh I'm the same. Especially just before dropping off to sleep.

Reply 12

Akkuz

17

It will get easier over time.

it wont.

its been 3 months and i'm still not over him... i dont think it will get easier...but eventually i hope i'll forget about him

Reply 15

*sparkles*

8

Anonymous

its been 3 months and i'm still not over him... i dont think it will get easier...but eventually i hope i'll forget about him

Yes, but do you still feel the complete despair etc that you did in first few days and weeks? You don't have to be over someone for things to be easier. Gradually you just start to return to some sort of normality, in that you feel more able to continue with your life.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

*sparkles*

Yes, but do you still feel the complete despair etc that you did in first few days and weeks? You don't have to be over someone for things to be easier. Gradually you just start to return to some sort of normality, in that you feel more able to continue with your life.

yea i guess seeing him at freshers wont help :frown:

Reply 17

*sparkles*

8

yeh that's not so good really, I remember that when I broke up with my boyfriend and saw him afterwards, I still loved him and wanted to be able to kiss him and stuff, but I knew I couldn't, and I got so jealous and hurt if I even saw him talk to another girl... I feel for you with that one. Chin up though, try to have a good time, you don't want him to think your moping around desperate for him.

Reply 18

cascadingstylez

OP

18

The only time I get bothered is in the mornings (when I posted this).

All day today I have been sort of fine. I spoke to a mate on the phone about it and went into detail and just felt normal.

Right now I am alone in the house, I am doing a university assignment, listening to music and trying to think up ways of getting my business venture started.

It is so mad. I know I am not over it, but phoning her last night didn't help the situation and made things worse.

I havn't drank tonight (which I did the last 2 nights) and I feel alot stronger. Most of the problem is that I feel I have lost independance and my housing state is not that stable because I sleep on a sofa bed at my brothers.

Money is growing slowly again. I have £900 left from my student loan and I plan to invest £500 into a printing account for my new business idea (club flyer designs). The idea will work as long as I get the clients. There is the potential to make £50 an hour from it.

I am still shocked that right now I feel nothing.

Reply 19

swingin_yoyo

2

I wouldn't expect yourself to get over it because you won't ever fully forget her, and quite rightly, you shouldn't forget someone who was a key part of your life for over 4 years!
Just, as other people have said, surround yourself with distractions and remove anything and everything that reminds you of her!
I don't know the situation obviously, but in certain circumstances, even though she cheated, it might be nice to try and stay friends (although this will come in time) :smile:

Hope you get better soon

Does A Break-Up Ever Get Easier?

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