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Is it leading on?

So my best friend likes this guy but some months ago they fought and broke off their friendship after they had tons of fights.(it was very interesting to watch not gonna lie.) then made up but it's not the same as before between them we all agree on it. She doesn't show it but I notice her sadness from time to time. Anyway she asked me this question and I don't know how to reply. So She told me she confessed to him on 21 September 2019, her dad's birthday. But he didn't say yes or no. She said he confused her because sometimes he would be distant then other times he would be very close with her. They were next to each other almost 24/7 when they met up. In that time he didn't say yes or no when they hung out. Then he was about to move back to his parents and still hadn't answered. It had been six months since she confessed. Until she had enough of wondering and asked him for a clear answer and he said he didn't like her as more then a friend. My friends question is... Did he lead her on? I think he did but maybe I'm wrong? Also I feel like its his fault but she feels like its both their faults. And he thinks its her fault. Who's at fault? In your opinion...
To be completely honest, it’s really hard to understand what’s going on in someone’s head. I’ve been in a similar situation myself and I’ve learnt to understand everyone deals with situations differently. Perhaps the guy friend was uncertain and didn’t want to say yes or no because he may have changed his mind later on. Also, a big factor could have been him not wanting to ruin the friendship as relationships can be tricky and loosing a friend would be horrible. In terms of him being distant, he could have been taking the time to reflect on what he wanted and needed. However, instead of being distant he could have been clearer and told her he needed space.

I don’t think anyone is at fault but I think the guy friend could have been much clearer on what he was thinking and feeling. He could’ve answered honestly when she first confessed and explained that it’s early days and his feelings could change. He could’ve also been clear about why he was wanting to be distance. The guy friend should have just overall been more open and communicated everything better so that no one was left hurt ... hope this helps, let me know what you think of my response :smile:
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Original post by Anonymous
To be completely honest, it’s really hard to understand what’s going on in someone’s head. I’ve been in a similar situation myself and I’ve learnt to understand everyone deals with situations differently. Perhaps the guy friend was uncertain and didn’t want to say yes or no because he may have changed his mind later on. Also, a big factor could have been him not wanting to ruin the friendship as relationships can be tricky and loosing a friend would be horrible. In terms of him being distant, he could have been taking the time to reflect on what he wanted and needed. However, instead of being distant he could have been clearer and told her he needed space.

I don’t think anyone is at fault but I think the guy friend could have been much clearer on what he was thinking and feeling. He could’ve answered honestly when she first confessed and explained that it’s early days and his feelings could change. He could’ve also been clear about why he was wanting to be distance. The guy friend should have just overall been more open and communicated everything better so that no one was left hurt ... hope this helps, let me know what you think of my response :smile:

I think you're right but it's just I've known my best friend for 4 years now and before she didn't like any boys. She was very serious. You should've seen how happy she was when she talked about him. I find it leading on because it took him 6 months and perhaps longer had she not asked. It hurt to see her in that cycle where she was happy then heartbroken. It hurt to see my talented best friend who normally didn't care what others think about her and knew her worth, so heart broken. She's usually very mature minded but during this I felt like I had to grow up and play the adult. I hated to see her cry because of a guy. I hated to see that she felt worthless just because of this. I don't really get why she can't get over him after everything... And all the times he hurt her. You know what's more even when the two of them fought and he was being a jerk on express. When me an my other best friend were so angry we wanted revenge she stopped us and defended him. I don't understand her sometimes. d

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