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    Last year I was a healthy and happy size 10, weighing about 115lbs. I've always been unhappy with my image, but didn't see it changing as I wasn't bothered by the way my body looked and loved food too much to go on any diets.
    Towards the end of last year I lost 10lbs by accident, I don't know how it happened, I didn't really notice any difference with myself, but I was happy to have lost the weight.
    At the beginning of summer this year I decided I needed to change, I thought if other people could do it, then so could I. I cut down massively on my eating and tried to eat 500 or less calories a day. I lost weight pretty quickly and went down to about 98lbs.
    Over the summer I didn't see a lot of my friends, when they saw me again at the beginning of the school year they were shocked with my change in appearance (even though I can't really see much difference myself). They all think I look too thin and ill.
    I find it difficult to eat meals or a lot of food in general, partly because it makes me feel guilty and partly because I get full so easily now. I think the whole thing started because I wanted something to control in my life (other parts of my life weren't going to well) and because I've just never been happy with myself. I now weigh about 95-96lbs (my lowest point was 93lbs) and I'm still not happy with myself, which is worrying me because I know I should be. It's beginning to upset my family and friends and myself as I feel it's a constant battle between knowing I need to gain weight and believing I shouldn't. When I look at other people, I generally think people with more shape look so much nicer than people who are really thin, but I just can't let myself look like that, even though I know I don't look nice to others.
    Basically what I'm asking is do I have a problem? And is there anything I can do to try and stop myself acting and thinking like this?
    Sorry for the long thread.
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    .... elaborate
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    Care to elaborate?
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    do you mean does anyone have an eating problem?
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    No, I posted something that I no longer want to talk about, so I deleted it.
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    Aw, you should talk about it. It might make you feel better and I'm sure you'll get some good advice on here.
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    Ok, not sure about how I feel about not posting anonymously, but oh well. I'll edit it back into my first post.
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    At a guess she might have wanted to post anonymous but forgot to click the button...

    Anyway, I'm sorry you don't want to talk about it...
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    Wow, tis like you wrote down my thoughts. But I can't help because I'm in, literally, the same situation with the same worries...:erm:
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    (Original post by LadyEnglish)
    Wow, tis like you wrote down my thoughts. But I can't help because I'm in, literally, the same situation with the same worries...:erm:
    Sorry to hear that you're going through the same thing :hugs:
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    so what's your BMI? How much are you actually eating a day?
    It sounds like you have an eating problem if you feel guilty whenever you eat and you're very underweight.
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    Yep hun, that sounds like an eating problem. I know this is difficult but try increasing ur intake by 100cals a day, so u keep ur metabolism up but u r still getting more nutrition etc. Say on monday u ate 500 and by Sunday u were eating 1200, and then on Monday u would go back 2 500. Slowly introduce ur body 2 eating a little more, and when u feel u r ready try talking 2 someone. ur parents don't need 2 know and ur friends will just be relieved that u will appear more like ur old self.

    WHATEVER U DO THO, keep talking and posting 2 us.
    GD LUCK XXX
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    Saffie - My BMI is about 17. How much I eat in a day will vary, sometimes I eat what would probably be considered a normal amount, but then I usually feel bad about it and will cut down on other days. It probably varies from about 500-1000 calories a day.

    Anon - I'm trying to increase my calorie intake, although I'm finding it really hard. I'm always counting calories - I usually plan what I'm going to eat in a day so I can know exactly how many I'm going to be getting, I suppose if I did vary it but still counted then I would be more reassured about how many I'm actually getting. My parents already know I'm having problems as I won't eat meals and had to get a lot of new clothes, they keep threatening to take me to the doctors, which makes me feel even worse about the whole situation. Thanks for your advice.
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    (Original post by Smoosh)
    Saffie - My BMI is about 17. How much I eat in a day will vary, sometimes I eat what would probably be considered a normal amount, but then I usually feel bad about it and will cut down on other days. It probably varies from about 500-1000 calories a day.

    Anon - I'm trying to increase my calorie intake, although I'm finding it really hard. I'm always counting calories - I usually plan what I'm going to eat in a day so I can know exactly how many I'm going to be getting, I suppose if I did vary it but still counted then I would be more reassured about how many I'm actually getting. My parents already know I'm having problems as I won't eat meals and had to get a lot of new clothes, they keep threatening to take me to the doctors, which makes me feel even worse about the whole situation. Thanks for your advice.
    Same, and i don't get why I think if i've eaten about 40 calories more than i usually do i've over eaten. I think i just about get 500 calories in a day but 600+ just seems like too much even when i know i should be getting at least double that. The thought of eating 1000+ calories in a day kind of scares me which is a little worrying, i never used to be like this :erm:
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    (Original post by LadyEnglish)
    Same, and i don't get why I think if i've eaten about 40 calories more than i usually do i've over eaten. I think i just about get 500 calories in a day but 600+ just seems like too much even when i know i should be getting at least double that. The thought of eating 1000+ calories in a day kind of scares me which is a little worrying, i never used to be like this :erm:
    I'm the same, if I eat anything more than I'm used to I feel horrible. I used to make sure I got 500, but now I think I get about 800. The thought of more than 1000 scares me too, it just seems like such a large amount, especially after what I'm used to
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    (Original post by Smoosh)
    I'm the same, if I eat anything more than I'm used to I feel horrible. I used to make sure I got 500, but now I think I get about 800. The thought of more than 1000 scares me too, it just seems like such a large amount, especially after what I'm used to
    Exactly :erm: I dunno, I think somehow i've started to think eating a hundred calories more or something will make me put on pounds of weight which i know wouldn't happen but its hard to think rationally when my parents are telling me to eat extra food and the idea of it just makes me anxious. I'm hoping this is just a phase...maybe if i took up exercising again i could eat more without worrying all that food was just sitting in me stomache...
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    hey you guys (both Smoosh and Lady English lol)
    I totally understand where you're coming from r.e. paranoia about eating more and feeling food sitting in your stomach etc. I will say this - it is not easy but really the only thing to do is exposure therapy - trying it and seeing for yourself that you will not instantly gain weight. stay away from the scale for a week or two as you adjust your diet as water/glycogen shifts would likely scare you and be counterproductive.

    it IS hard but the only motivation I can give you is this - if you don't try to change your thought patterns now it will become more entrenched...you won't feel more satisfied with your food intake/weight but in fact less satisfied. I'm sorry if this sounds condescending or whatever...but I have lived with this sort of thing for years and honestly despite generally maintaining at a v underweight level and low food intake I am far, far less comfortable with it than I ever was to begin with. there is ALWAYS a crushing sense of inadequacy.

    sidenote - at a bmi of 17 you are quite significantly underweight and especially if you are in a state of starvation/malnourishment this can affect your cognition to a serious degree, making it harder for you to rationlise things, so bear this in mind when you are having that inner debate with yourself next time:yep:
    xx
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    (Original post by InnocentEyes)
    hey you guys (both Smoosh and Lady English lol)
    I totally understand where you're coming from r.e. paranoia about eating more and feeling food sitting in your stomach etc. I will say this - it is not easy but really the only thing to do is exposure therapy - trying it and seeing for yourself that you will not instantly gain weight. stay away from the scale for a week or two as you adjust your diet as water/glycogen shifts would likely scare you and be counterproductive.

    it IS hard but the only motivation I can give you is this - if you don't try to change your thought patterns now it will become more entrenched...you won't feel more satisfied with your food intake/weight but in fact less satisfied. I'm sorry if this sounds condescending or whatever...but I have lived with this sort of thing for years and honestly despite generally maintaining at a v underweight level and low food intake I am far, far less comfortable with it than I ever was to begin with. there is ALWAYS a crushing sense of inadequacy.

    sidenote - at a bmi of 17 you are quite significantly underweight and especially if you are in a state of starvation/malnourishment this can affect your cognition to a serious degree, making it harder for you to rationlise things, so bear this in mind when you are having that inner debate with yourself next time:yep:
    xx
    Yeah that's what I'm worried about, it's draining and time consuming having to constantly think about calories and weight and i scared myself a couple of weeks ago when i ate the best part of half a carrot cake out of pure craving and hunger (you'd think that would be bad enough but then i felt so sick with myself i tried to throw up...) Think i need help :| Christ i used to be so normal
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know this is difficult but try increasing ur intake by 100cals a day, so u keep ur metabolism up but u r still getting more nutrition etc. Say on monday u ate 500 and by Sunday u were eating 1200, and then on Monday u would go back 2 500.
    Do not do this. This is actually an example of what people do when they want to lose weight. Your metabolism will speed up as a result of the excess calories, then when you drop your calorie intake again...it'll mean you lose more weight as it'll remain high. To be honest, OP, if this sounds appealing to you, then you probably almost definitely have a problem.

    I know where you're coming from lovely, as I still haven't totally gotten over my issues. It helps to talk to people about it, honestly. You need someone that can persuade you to eat food even when you don't want to. I know that might not seem like an attractive idea right now, but you don't want this to become more of an issue than it seems to be already. You need to talk to someone and try to get better while you still think that there's a problem. :hugs:. I'm here if you want to talk or anything.
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    Can you not give your some motivation from what you used to look like before.

    How about carry a picture of what you used to look like when you were a size 10, think about all the positive things when you were this size. Then whenever you don't feel like eating, pull the picture out and remind yourself of how much happier you were. I mean if people are saying you look ill surely that can't make you feel happy.

    Also how about having a friend mentor you. Through positive reinforcement maybe he/she could help you overcome your fears.

    I know these maybe be totally insensitive, pathetic ideas, but honestly I hope you can get through these problems. Remember you alone are the one who can solve these problems and become a happier and more beautiful person.
 
 
 
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