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    My friend and her long-term boyfriend are on a break at the moment - a break that he initiated. but he had been flirting with me for months before the 'split'.

    Things are getting more flirtatious on his part and he's starting to make it really obvious that he sees me as more than just a friend and I don't know what to do it's starting to make me feel really anxious and uncomfortable. He's putting me in such an awkward position.

    I used to be really close with this girl, but we gradually drifted further apart, and I can't help but think that this might have something to do with how well I got on with her boyfriend who I met through her, and who I saw as a really good friend.

    Me and the girl barely talk after having a mini, unrelated, argument, but are still civil when we see eachother. How do I deal with being in this situation where my male friend, wants more than just to be friends, when I would never go there - just the thought of how wrong it is and how many problems it will cause is making me feel ill.

    Please share your thoughts, I know I haven't asked anything specific, but any thoughts, advice from anyone would be much appreciated. Thanks.
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    just tell him to back off
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    But I still want him as a friend...

    I've already made it clear that I can't ever go there. But I know he's going to try it on when I see him.

    What's the answer? Never see him again? But I don't want that...
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    I'm relieved you said you wouldn't go there. Refreshing to hear that some people still have standards. A lot of people these days dont have enough respect for other peoples' relationships. I would tell the girlfriend, it's not fair on her. Personally (and here is where some people differ), I see a break as just that, a break, not a chance to sleep with someone else, rather than using the break as an excuse to get what they really wanted.

    After all, no-one whose been faithful deserves to be taken along for a ride. Tell him where to go, tell her what kind of 'man' her boyfriend is.
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    I should clarify...

    She sees it as a 'break' (still in love with him)
    He sees it as a split. (never loved her)
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    You need to tell him you plainly want him only as a friend. You also need to go to your friend and tell her that her guy is doing this to you, and how you feel about it. Make it clear to her you wouldn't ever go there.

    She might have noticed her bf's behaviour towards you, and that might be why you've drifted apart so much.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I should clarify...

    She sees it as a 'break' (still in love with him)
    He sees it as a split. (never loved her)
    Very messy situation then. A miscommunication or a man whose not brave enough to tell his girlfriend they should not be together any more.

    To be honest, and I hate to break it to you, it's extremely difficult to be in a male/female friend situation when one of the party wants something more. It's not something that will disappear if you tell him, his lust for you wont suddenly turn into 'just friends'.

    It's a difficult one to be stuck in the middle of, but i still feel the girlfriend needs to be made aware of the situation.
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    I like you Guru Sauce
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    Thank you very much.
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    p.s. though, the last thing I can do is tell his 'girlfriend' about this - we're barely back on speaking terms and things between us are really distant. The more I think about it, the more I think it's wrong that I keep in contact with him, let alone meet him...

    none of the options are good ones - whatever I do, or don't do is going to have bad results.
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    You have done nothing wrong in remaining friends with the guy so don't feel guilty. But you should make it very clear to him that you don't want anything to happen and that it's unfair of him to come on to you when his girlfriend thinks they're on a break.
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    Facebook her/send her a PM? That way, you won't have to tell her face to face...
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    (Original post by Jelkin)
    You have done nothing wrong in remaining friends with the guy so don't feel guilty. But you should make it very clear to him that you don't want anything to happen and that it's unfair of him to come on to you when his girlfriend thinks they're on a break.
    Thanks, you talk sense!

    Usually, (from past experience), as soon as a guy knows he's not going to get with you in a 'romantic way'... he can't be bothered with you. I just don't want our friendship to be over.

    Maybe there's no easy way around this one
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But I still want him as a friend...

    I've already made it clear that I can't ever go there. But I know he's going to try it on when I see him.

    What's the answer? Never see him again? But I don't want that...
    Are you sure you haven't also developed feelings for this guy, but you are trying to suppress it because you feel a little guilty for doing so?

    The thing is, you should not feel guilty about anything, whether you do now have a crush on him or not. It is his responsibility to make it clear to his girlfriend that he doesn't love her anymore.

    Once he has made this clear, I don't think it would be wrong for you and the guy to form a relationship. I don't see why anyone should blame you 'for going there'.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Usually, (from past experience), as soon as a guy knows he's not going to get with you in a 'romantic way'... he can't be bothered with you. I just don't want our friendship to be over.

    Hah, I know what you mean. But if he's like that then surely he's not someone you want to be friends with anyway?
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    Know your own boundaries.

    How much of a friend is your friend?

    Do you like the boyfriend?

    Is a fling worth losing the friendship???

    I'd say keep well away.
 
 
 
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