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Overworking and severe anxiety: what to do?

Hi everyone,

I am reaching out here because I am really struggling with anxiety before my exam session in January. I am pursuing a masters in physics in Switzerland (in the process of applying for PhD positions in the UK, with a decent chance of getting an offer in Cambridge). I transitioned last summer from an experimental astrophysics lab to the theoretical cosmology and particle physics program at my university. In this program, I am required to take 3 PhD-level courses in advanced quantum field theory, and will apparently be assessed with the same criteria as classmates who are in the 2nd year of their PhD. While the lectures are super interesting, the leap in difficulty compared to last year's coursework is huge. I have been overworking myself the whole semester trying to keep up (several sleepless nights a week, trouble eating, panic attacks, ...), now it is getting even worse as the exams get closer (starting mid-January). I haven't stopped working for a single day since September, barely took a few hours of break on Christmas day, and still feel like I am going to fail everything.

Due to personal circumstances related to my fiancé's visa status, having to repeat a course and take more time to graduate would have painful consequences (ranging from an extended long-distance relationship to losing him altogether); therefore, I absolutely have to graduate in July 2021, and can't allow myself any mistake. This added pressure and responsability is too much and I am terrified of either failing or burning out.

Does anyone have advice on what to do in this situation? How can I manage to pass 3 courses that are clearly above my abilities? And how to cope with the enormous amount of pressure?
Hello!

Firstly I'd like to say that you are doing remarkably well for still managing to do your work during a pandemic, I cannot imagine how difficult it was been for you. I've never had this much workload that you have described, however I hope to give you some advice that you may find helpful that helped me during stressful times.

When you get that overwhelming feeling that you have too much work to do, the best thing to do is to just stop for a second and breathe in deeply. This way you can calm your nerves and silence the thoughts rushing through your head. Then you could organise your thoughts by making a plan of what you have to learn by when.

Gather some colourful pens, some nice paper, and give yourself a detailed plan of what you have to do. This way, you can visually see what you have to do. It might be a long list or a chunky paragraph, however it will allow you to take those overwhelming thoughts and spit them out onto paper.

It is also helpful to set yourself little goals. For example, I will learn x,y,z by Wednesday etc. This way, you feel like you're achieving your target and the overwhelming thoughts calm down. Don't forget to reward yourself too, have a cup of tea/ coffee and take a small break. Just enough for your brain to regain focus.

The worst thing you can do is overwork yourself because you will lose concentration and motivation. Hopefully this is helpful for you but you might already be doing this sort of thing!

If you are, all I can offer is encouragement, you're doing brilliantly and you're so brave for taking on a lot of work

Sending my best
Hi,

Thank you for your kind and helpful reply! I have actually started planning my time as you suggest, and it does help a little. Visualizing the plan and realizing that I have enough time to finish reading the notes before the exam date always calms me down a little. I also try to reward myself in the evening by taking a brief break and watching a show or just chatting with my fiancé, before he goes to bed and I start working for a few more hours.

The main thing I am struggling with is that in my field, working a lot and having read through all the lectures definitely doesn't guarantee a pass. Most of the challenge revolves around deeply understanding the material, mastering very abstract mathematics, being able to improvise a solution to a new exercise and having the right idea at the right moment. I have known some former classmates I admired for their work ethics, who still completely messed up their exams. So whenever I start getting panicked, reminding myself of the plan only slightly alleviates the pressure, because I still have a risk to fail even if I stay on schedule...

Anyway, thanks a lot for your encouragement. :smile: Best wishes and happy new year!

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