The Student Room Group

Virginitity

I honestly don't know what to do so I'm writing this. I lost my virginity last night and I don't remember it. I blacked out at my friend's house and somehow I ended up getting in my friend's car and got back. I don't remember anything that happened in the car except for him vaguely saying my hair smelled good and like us making out and that's it. The problem is that he was sober and he knew I was wasted, like my friends said that it was obvious I was drunk. He basically put me in his car and drove off with me and then apparently he dropped me back off at her house and just left. He didn't even walk me in apparently (Apparently because I have no memory of this, I was told this by my friends. My entire body hurts today like I have no idea what happened in that car but I literally have bruises everywhere. The only way I know something happened besides being told that we had sex was that when I went to pee this morning my pants were on backward and I wasn't wearing any underwear. If this had happened at school with someone I didn't know I feel like I would feel a little different. The problem is I do know him and he's literally like my friend but I don't think I can still be friends with him after this. I feel so gross and just disgusting but at the same time, I feel like I'm making this into a huge deal when it literally isn't one. my friends are saying I need to text him and ask him what happened but I really don't want to. Like the idea of texting him or talking to him is making me so nauseous. Every time I think about the things I vaguely remember from the car it makes me want to puke. One of my friends said I was saying I wanted to hu with him like around him but I don't remember that. If I did say that does that make what he did ok? He very well might have asked me for consent in that car and I may have given it I have no idea, I just don't remember. The only other thing I vaguely remember from the car is me saying ow I think because he literally took my virginity. I don't know what to do and I need advice.
First of all no matter what you said when you were drunk matters. He was sober you were drunk. He should know better than to listen to someone who's drunk. He raped you. If he did have sex with you. You were in no state of mind to give consent. You legally and morally and ethically could not and he knows that. He may claim he doenst but they do. You are not making it into a big deal because it is a big deal already. If anyone tells you otherwise do not listen because what he did is not okay! He took something you can never get back. It would still be a big deal even if it wasn't your first time because it still isn't okay what he did! Believe me I know I have been in the same position. And I know its worse because you know them but thats normally the perpetrator. They take advantage of your trust. It leaves you feeling vulnerable but you are not alone. I know that may mean nothing now. But you are not alone. Don't make uo excuses for him. He was sober and you trusted him and he took advantage of that. So don't down play it! Please dont let anyone and I mean anyone tell you that you are over reacting because you are not. How you are feeling matters so don't let anyone belittle you!
(edited 3 years ago)
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Avatar for bbbluck
bbbluck
11
If you were drunk and he was sober this could be classed as abuse. I haven’t gone through this but I do understand the regret and feeling gross after doing something sexual. It’s hard but id try and talk to him. You need to know if you did consent do it and if you did have sex. This could be abuse due to him taking advantage of you as you were drunk.

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