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    I have changed it to be to do with a completely different subject to mine and with different phrasing to prevent it being stolen

    "i could start by saying that since i was 2 i wanted to gaze through a telescope at galaxies. Infact, I discovered this recently..."

    is it ok? too jokey? something else?

    argh what do i do? help :confused:
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    Noone wants to stare through a telescope to gaze at galaxies when they're 2, leave it out.
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    (Original post by Rei)
    Noone wants to stare through a telescope to gaze at galaxies when they're 2, leave it out.
    i was hoping make a joke about how lots of personal statements are started with "Since i was a child"
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    (Original post by meema)
    I have changed it to be to do with a completely different subject to mine and with different phrasing to prevent it being stolen

    "i could start by saying that since i was 2 i wanted to gaze through a telescope at galaxies. Infact, I discovered this recently..."

    is it ok? too jokey? something else?

    argh what do i do? help :confused:
    It's facetious and unnecessary - just stick to the main point. I understand that you want to make your PS sound different from everyone elses', but really there are only so many variations on a theme. Just convey that you are intelligent and that you love your subject, without wasting words.
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    (Original post by meema)
    i was hoping make a joke about how lots of personal statements are started with "Since i was a child"
    Hmmm, that's like a waste of 2 lines. Seriously, they don't care if you have a sense of humour or not. Just focus on yourself and your academic abilities as much as you can.
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    No one will understand that your taking the piss. they'll think your just being stupid.

    sorry, if you wanna be original, start with something else.
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    (Original post by meema)
    i was hoping make a joke about how lots of personal statements are started with "Since i was a child"
    it sounds a bit to odd - forced humour doesnt sound good.

    Humour is a funny one with PSs (punn lol). If you are writing and a little bit of humour justs pops out and it just sounds natural and is only subtle all well and good but forced humour right at the start sounds too strange - leave it out
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    (Original post by meema)
    I have changed it to be to do with a completely different subject to mine and with different phrasing to prevent it being stolen

    "i could start by saying that since i was 2 i wanted to gaze through a telescope at galaxies. Infact, I discovered this recently..."

    is it ok? too jokey? something else?

    argh what do i do? help :confused:

    This is not going to be a good sort of thing to start your personal statement with. If you posted a statement starting with something like that in the PS help forum, you'd probably be told to change it. What do you want to actually study?
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    I don't get the joke O.O
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    ok thanks for putting me straight guys!!

    right now im off to work on my first paragraph a bit more

    byeee
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    dont joke! DONT JOOOOOOOOOOKE! they are boring stuffy old professors who dont get humour if it doesnt contain the word "boffing".

    stay serious, say how mint you are and finish!
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    "Infact" is meant to be two words. Oh, and it's not funny.
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    They might miss the joke, and think that you're just a little odd...

    I should imagine they've probably read a fair amount of strange personal statments before from overenthuastic "and then I went on a one-man fast for two weeks until my school allowed me to take a 7th A level" type of people (well, I'm guessing from some of the thread I've read on here...) and so they might just think you're another one of those...

    Maybe?
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    That'd go straight to the bin.
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    (Original post by meema)
    ok thanks for putting me straight guys!!

    right now im off to work on my first paragraph a bit more

    byeee
    Most of my PS is a bit chatty and informal, I think it looks ok and isn't too far into the wrong and reflects my personality well - so don't go too formal!
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    Leave that crap out, keep it simple and forget any 'clever' nonsense.
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    (Original post by meema)
    I have changed it to be to do with a completely different subject to mine and with different phrasing to prevent it being stolen

    "i could start by saying that since i was 2 i wanted to gaze through a telescope at galaxies. Infact, I discovered this recently..."

    is it ok? too jokey? something else?

    argh what do i do? help :confused:
    I woudn't worry about that being "stolen", mate - talking about your childhood is about the most clichéd opening to a personal statement there is, despite the fact you're attempting to "joke" about it. And that's another thing - don't attempt humour in your personal statement: it's a recipe for disaster.

    Just be honest. Do a bit of reading about your subject, and talk about what interests you about it. That's what the admissions tutors want to see.

    Also, check out the TSR "PS Help" forum.
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    (Original post by yosrush)
    Most of my PS is a bit chatty and informal, I think it looks ok and isn't too far into the wrong and reflects my personality well - so don't go too formal!


    But please, please don't go too informal! Your PS shouldn't be written like you're having a chat with a mate, it should be really selling yourself in a clear, well written manner.
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    Humour doesn't come across very well...only if you are being very obvious and it is self deprecating...they won't like you taking the piss out of anything except yourself. 'I like to play Tennis very often, though I would not win any gold medals!' Hahahahahahahaha. They'd chortle. Well, maybe not but that's the level of humour they like. We had a huge talk by this woman who came in.

    But then again, I swore twice in my PS and still got accepted by two universities. The other three I hope were less impressed with the swearing than my obvious awful educational record. I had a shot at diverting their attention anyhow.
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    have you only just started your ps??
    our hand in date is tomorrow!!!
 
 
 

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