Ignoring my friend because I fancy her.

For a couple of months i have been ignoring one of my friends, I stopes contact with her and she obviously must have realized after a few messages and I didn't get back and since then we have not spoke.

I have really liked her for a while now and have tried to deny the feelings I've had for her. And im attracted to the same sex but I'm not allowed to be gay so this is why I stopped talking to her because I didn't want to amplify the feelings I had for her and wanted to what I could do prevent these feelings escalating. And my feelings getting the better of me.

Also she is straight and I know she wouldn't be happy if she knew I was gay.
One of my friends a few weeks just generally spoke about her and told me she had a big argument with her boyfriend. And I really wanted to text her asking her if she was okay but I had to force myself not to, otherwise my feelings would get the better of me and I can't let my gay feelings take control.
And the day my friend told me that this friend of mine had a argument I cried my eyes out.
And I know not talking to her, hurts me, more than it hurts her. But I want her to be happy, and I care so much about her. In secret.

I couldn't tell her how I feel about her, and now I don't even think she'll class me as a friend anymore seen as I cut all contact with her without an explanation.
But I didn't want either of us getting hurt.
I don't want her hurting knowing I've been attracted to her and I'm gay and I don't want to hurt myself or my family because I'm not suppose to be gay and also I know she is straight!

Hard one.…

PM me x

OP

^^

Reply 3

username5453336

19

If you still need help, I recommend @gracieee16. She’s really helpful and knows how to deal with complicated situations. If not, hiiii gracieee16 👋🏼

Reply 4

username5394810

20

Original post by BluMoon06

If you still need help, I recommend @gracieee16. She’s really helpful and knows how to deal with complicated situations. If not, hiiii gracieee16 👋🏼

Got lunch I'll respond after 😘
Thanks so much sweetie x

Reply 5

username5453336

19

Original post by gracieee16

Got lunch I'll respond after 😘
Thanks so much sweetie x

Hehe no problem 🥰 x

Reply 6

username5394810

20

Hey,

If she is a very close friend then I think you should definitely tell her. Real friends should be there for you and understand, even if she's straight, she should support you and be there for you. It's tough, trust me, I'm bisexual, so I find girls attractive too. You shouldn't be ashamed and if you feel like you need to tell her, then do so, she might even be bi herself, you never know until you tell her :smile:

It's terrifying, yep. But you'll find someone that will love you and liking the same gender does not matter . LOVE IS LOVE 💘.

go and tell her - if you want to x

Reply 7

5hyl33n

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post by Eliza.chocolate

Hard one.…

PM me x

Why does OP need to PM you?

Reply 8

Eliza.chocolate

15

Original post by 5hyl33n

Why does OP need to PM you?

Sorry Shyleen. Just wanted to share private information to help her buuttt… she never did.
xx :smile:

Reply 9

5hyl33n

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post by Eliza.chocolate

Sorry Shyleen. Just wanted to share private information to help her buuttt… she never did.
xx :smile:

Ah, I see. :biggrin:

Reply 10

Eliza.chocolate

15

Original post by 5hyl33n

Ah, I see. :biggrin:

I haven’t spoken to you in a while and I have got a new account.
How did your exams go.

BTW this is Katy (thebigworld) but got a new account xx

Reply 11

5hyl33n

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post by Eliza.chocolate

I haven’t spoken to you in a while and I have got a new account.
How did your exams go.

BTW this is Katy (thebigworld) but got a new account xx

Ohh I was wondering who this was!

My exams went well, thanks for asking.

How are you?

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

Lowkey me atm, I have feelings for one of my close friends (shes bi and I'm bi) and we flirt a lot but idk I feel like I've been losing contact w her recently, as like you I dont wanna ruin the friendship over these feelings etc. I think the best thing you can do is to be honest w her and explain why you've been more distant lately and if you feel comfortable, tell her you like her as even tho nothing will come of it as shes straight, it could give you closure and if shes a true friend you wont lose your friendship

Reply 13

username5394810

20

Original post by Anonymous

Lowkey me atm, I have feelings for one of my close friends (shes bi and I'm bi) and we flirt a lot but idk I feel like I've been losing contact w her recently, as like you I dont wanna ruin the friendship over these feelings etc. I think the best thing you can do is to be honest w her and explain why you've been more distant lately and if you feel comfortable, tell her you like her as even tho nothing will come of it as shes straight, it could give you closure and if shes a true friend you wont lose your friendship

Oh, does she flirt w you? I'm bi too, how funnnnn. I am struggling w knowing that I'm bi and I'm also nervous about what my parents will say or think.

Reply 14

Ramipril

18

So you fell in love with a straight girl who "wouldn't be happy to know you are gay". May I suggest you do what all us other gay girls have to deal with and just deal with it until hopefully the feelings go away or you fall for somebody else. If she would have issues with you being gay, I suggest you don't tell her you fancy her.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Ramipril

So you fell in love with a straight girl who "wouldn't be happy to know you are gay". May I suggest you do what all us other gay girls have to deal with and just deal with it until hopefully the feelings go away or you fall for somebody else. If she would have issues with you being gay, I suggest you don't tell her you fancy her.

Yes this is why I've ignored her and blocked her because I can't tell her and I think cutting contact would be good for both of us.

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

Original post by gracieee16

Oh, does she flirt w you? I'm bi too, how funnnnn. I am struggling w knowing that I'm bi and I'm also nervous about what my parents will say or think.

Yeah we flirt w each other all the time it's fun lol. Yeah I was like that for ages and realised that I was bi late 2019, i guess you'll realise the more ppl you meet etc but remember theres no pressure to label yourself at all. I havent told my parents yet although Ik theyd be accepting, i have told my friends and briefly mentioned it to my cousin and younger sister, I think I'd only rlly end up telling me if I got in a relationship w a girl tbh

Reply 17

username5394810

20

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah we flirt w each other all the time it's fun lol. Yeah I was like that for ages and realised that I was bi late 2019, i guess you'll realise the more ppl you meet etc but remember theres no pressure to label yourself at all. I havent told my parents yet although Ik theyd be accepting, i have told my friends and briefly mentioned it to my cousin and younger sister, I think I'd only rlly end up telling me if I got in a relationship w a girl tbh

Oh, I get where you're coming from. Same with my parents well, apart from my dad tbh. He's very like judgemental and would go on about my sexuality if he found out. I just think girls are cute, ah😁.

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

Original post by gracieee16

Oh, I get where you're coming from. Same with my parents well, apart from my dad tbh. He's very like judgemental and would go on about my sexuality if he found out. I just think girls are cute, ah😁.