Age gap

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
I met this lad when I just turned 16 on holiday we spoke for a few days, went the beach and all that, found out he lives near where I do. Until then he told me he was 23 I was shocked because I didn’t ask it before like an idiot. We still talk and sometimes I bump into him on the street. Recently he told me he loves me and I said it back (I do mean it). I feel like people are going to judge us and I dont know what to do.
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Anonymous #2
#2
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#2
I don't mean this in a rude way but I think you should stay away. He's 23 and you're still underage, theres probs a reason why he isnt with a girl around his own age
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CharlyyG
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
I met this lad when I just turned 16 on holiday we spoke for a few days, went the beach and all that, found out he lives near where I do. Until then he told me he was 23 I was shocked because I didn’t ask it before like an idiot. We still talk and sometimes I bump into him on the street. Recently he told me he loves me and I said it back (I do mean it). I feel like people are going to judge us and I dont know what to do.
I think you should be careful with a person that is so so much older than you and also the fact that he is basically a pedophile for that... But I do understand you and no body should judge you for that.
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ANM775
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't mean this in a rude way but I think you should stay away. He's 23 and you're still underage, theres probs a reason why he isnt with a girl around his own age
(Original post by CharlyyG)
I think you should be careful with a person that is so so much older than you and also the fact that he is basically a pedophile for that... But I do understand you and no body should judge you for that.
the girl said she was 16, and last time i checked that was old enough in the eyes of the law so he isn't a paedophile
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Anonymous #1
#5
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#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't mean this in a rude way but I think you should stay away. He's 23 and you're still underage, theres probs a reason why he isnt with a girl around his own age
16 isn’t underage though. I am legal.
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Anonymous #3
#6
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#6
i think you should stay away it is weird that he is still interested (most guys after knowing that you are only 16 would run a mile) maybe wait a year or two and see what he is really like
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Anonymous #4
#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I met this lad when I just turned 16 on holiday we spoke for a few days, went the beach and all that, found out he lives near where I do. Until then he told me he was 23 I was shocked because I didn’t ask it before like an idiot. We still talk and sometimes I bump into him on the street. Recently he told me he loves me and I said it back (I do mean it). I feel like people are going to judge us and I dont know what to do.
Even if your at the age of consent it’s still viewed as morally wrong in the fact that ur still in school and a teenager and he’s a full grown adult and the maturity level in the ages is way different but at the end of the day it’s ur choice
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Kerzen
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
I met this lad when I just turned 16 on holiday we spoke for a few days, went the beach and all that, found out he lives near where I do. Until then he told me he was 23 I was shocked because I didn’t ask it before like an idiot. We still talk and sometimes I bump into him on the street. Recently he told me he loves me and I said it back (I do mean it). I feel like people are going to judge us and I dont know what to do.
When did you first meet this guy?
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Anonymous #3
#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Even if your at the age of consent it’s still viewed as morally wrong in the fact that ur still in school and a teenager and he’s a full grown adult and the maturity level in the ages is way different but at the end of the day it’s ur choice
I agree. My mum is a counsellor who specialises in grooming and victims of paedophilia so i do have a bit of knowledge. Just because you are 16 (of legal age) and hes not some 50 year old man does not mean he can't be a paedophile.

Secondly, whether he is or not does not matter he may be a man who is controlling so therefore would be willing to date someone a lot younger in order to more easily control someone.

Also you are only 16 and he may want to have a sexual relationship which (i obviously have no idea) but you may not be ready for.

You will not be able to hang out at bars or go clubbing or even go out to certain places together.

You two are at completely different life stages and do not have the same level of maturity i am afraid.

It is weird that he is into as most decent men will not confess their love to a 16 year old they will be immediately turned off im afraid.
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Wolfbangenoff
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#10
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#10
Hi OP

9 years is nothing when one is a lot older.
The difference between me and my other half is a fraction under 5 years.
But look it like this. I was 19 and OH was 24 and people noted the difference.
Looking back I was a lot less mature but mature enough to do the right things.
Thinking about it if I'd met my OH when I was a weeny 15 and at schook and other hald would have been 20 and working,
it would not have been right even if the agre of consent was lower. However, if i had been 25 and my OH 30,
not one would have lifted and eye lid.

IMHO you are asking as you full well know that it may not be acceptable to most adults and they
would discourage you

I strongly suggest to speak, discuss and be open and honest to your parents/guradians/teachers/sensible adults
and see what they have to say.

Finally, FYI when I was 21 I thought I knew everything, then the same again at 25 and then a few years after that - looking back, I regret doing many thing at 16/18/20/21/24/etc etc. When one is a lot younger like you it is easy to fall in so-called love with the first person that talks nicely to you, older than you and in your eyes a real guy. Boys look for older women and girls look up to older men. When I was 23, if I'd met a 16 year old at shcool, trust me, I'd steer clear of them.

Go and tell your parents/teachers/family/etc ie another sensible adult and trust me, they will be with me.

HTH
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Wolfbangenoff
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
Even if your at the age of consent it’s still viewed as morally wrong in the fact that ur still in school and a teenager and he’s a full grown adult and the maturity level in the ages is way different but at the end of the day it’s ur choice
No, it'd not "morally wrong" but wrong on every level.
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Anonymous #1
#12
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#12
(Original post by Kerzen)
When did you first meet this guy?
Last year
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Anonymous #5
#13
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#13
I had a fling with a 16 year old when I was 18 (she was the year below), and when I found out she was 16 I felt a bit like a *****. 23 vs 16 is just such a huge gap, like he could be finishing his PhD next year while you're still doing/finishing your GCSEs. I'd say don't go for it, or wait a few years until the age gap is more acceptable. I'm 21 if and if one of my friends went out with a 16 year old I would judge them.
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Kerzen
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
Last year
Are you still at school?

I don't think that he is the right person for you, in all honesty. Not a 23 year old man.

One day there will be people who are just right for you, just bide your time and you will see that this is true.

At 16, there are so many other things for you to be doing, not hanging around with 23 year old guys.
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Anonymous #3
#15
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#15
(Original post by Kerzen)
Are you still at school?

I don't think that he is the right person for you, in all honesty. Not a 23 year old man.

One day there will be people who are just right for you, just bide your time and you will see that this is true.

At 16, there are so many other things for you to be doing, not hanging around with 23 year old guys.
I know i keep posting on this thread. The OP will be at school as they are only 16.

I know my Aunt met this guy when she was 17 and he was 20 and when he found out that she was 17 he stepped back. They went to different unis and then after university they bumped into each other and as they were older it worked out and they are now married in their 50s so it is worth waiting. My Aunt always says that if they had talked more (they basically just met at a pub a few times and he knew her dad) at that age it wouldn't of worked out anyway due to maturity differences and life stages.
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Foxehh
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#16
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#16
I dont see an issue, however many people will. If you're one to let other people's opinions get in the way of your relationship, it would not be a bad idea to rethink it.
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ShybutHi
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#17
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#17
While no one could stop such a relationship legally I believe, I would definitely advise against it.

The reason is just that you are both in such different stages in your lives.

In your mind having a relationship with an older man who can provide you with things, teach you things, might sound really exciting. I think however you should really be at the very least 18. The reason for this that you will be past main education that being secondary school and college, and you can go where you want legally, drink etc, but this is just my opinion.
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Anonymous #4
#18
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#18
(Original post by Wolfbangenoff)
No, it'd not "morally wrong" but wrong on every level.
It is morally wrong as by the law it’s not seen as criminal. So legally there are allow to date and to have intercourses but it is morally wrong as seen from society.
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bones-mccoy
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#19
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#19
The older you get, the less a large difference in ages matters. But you're still very young and on a different level entirely to a grown man the age of 23. What's worse is that although he didn't directly lie to you, he let you believe he was around a similar age as yourself, which is a massive red flag. If he genuinely didn't think your ages were a problem, he'd have been upfront and honest about it from the beginning. The fact that he hid it you from you or never 'thought' to mention it is because he knows it's not okay.
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Wolfbangenoff
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
It is morally wrong as by the law it’s not seen as criminal. So legally there are allow to date and to have intercourses but it is morally wrong as seen from society.
I hear you but I stand by what I said as it's wrong on every level.
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