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Am I overreacting or should I end it with her

Sorry about the essay.

I met this girl two months ago but she had a boyfriend. I liked the girl so I got her number from one of her friends and we started calling each other regularly. She kept on telling me how nothing could happen because she had a bf which was cool with me so I made sure not to cross the line with her.

About a month ago she broke up with her bf for whatever reason and a week later I ran into her and we got talking and she made it clear that she wanted to take our friendship further. Since then we've started meeting up and we have gone out a few times but the relationship is not exactly defined yet but it’s obvious that it might turn into something serious.

The main problem now is that her ex keeps on calling her and she keeps on picking up and talking to him. After talking to him she gets upset and calls me up or comes over to cry on MY shoulder but she doesn’t tell me exactly why she is crying.

I was wondering whether:

1. I was being paranoid or overreacting for feeling that if she did not have feelings for her ex, whatever he says would not make her cry?

2. And that if she did not want to speak to him she would just not receive his calls?

3. Am I being used as some sort of comforting pillow for when she cries for the guy she really wants?

So to cap it all off, should I dump her or is there any workable way to sort this situation out?

Reply 1

Dr.Hox

Drop it like its hot and come back when shes got over her teenage drama.

Or you could go down that understanding route, try talking to her about what the problem is and if you do find out that yeh she still has feeling for that other guy (which she is bound to if she only broke up with him a month ago) then let her get over it and come back to her laterz.

Reply 2

Spacecam

I'd stick with it if I were you (but I'm that sort of person and I've got hurt doing that). Be wary - try not to get too attached if you know what I mean, then if it does have to end, you won't be completely distraught.

I hope it works for you. Perhaps you being there as a support as well as everything else will assure her that you do actually want a relationship with her?

Reply 3

Smack

Leave her. You'll have more fun dating many girls.

Reply 4

KellyFern

I think that maybe she needs some time to grieve this relationship in order to let it go and then move on. Even when people know that breaking up is the right thing to do, it still takes time in order to adjust and say goodbye to that part of your life. I think that maybe the timing is wrong for you guys right now, because you aren't going to be her prority right now, her priority is getting over this and moving on from it. Thats probably why you're feeling the way you are right now, but try not to take it too hard because its probably not a personal thing. Give her time and space and then if its right... it'll just come together for you two. I always think relationships are about timing, so give it just that and you'll be surprised at how good it can be.
Good luck =)

Reply 5

#1_Wasteman

Bang it and breeze bruv.

Reply 6

Juwel

Tell her you're not comfortable or happy with these terms and that you need her to come clean with you. If she won't, she's hiding something, so lose her. If she does and you don't like it, lose her. If she does and it's something you can live with, work it out from there.

Reply 7

Usman938

#1_Wasteman

Bang it and breeze bruv.

Tap that wastegashdem and merk it.

Reply 8

Aconite

Usman938

Tap that wastegashdem and merk it.

Pardon?

Reply 9

SunderX

Ask her what's going on with her ex, and if she's really ready to have a relationship with you. If she can't answer satisfactorily (in your opinion), she's not in any state to be a girlfriend.

Too many guys have been used as tissues and thrown away.

Reply 10

Usman938

Aconite

Pardon?

Proceed in forincating with the young lady.

Reply 11

Aconite

Usman938

Proceed in forincating with the young lady.

Again, pardon?

Reply 12

Usman938

Aconite

Again, pardon?

Fornication, or simple fornication, is a term which refers to voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married to each other.

The origin of the word derives from Latin. The word fornix means "an archway" or "vault" (in Rome, prostitutes could be solicited there). More directly, fornicatio means "done in the archway"; thus a euphemism for prostitution.

Fornication is dealt with differently in various religions, societies and cultures.

Reply 13

insanetothebrain

She's a maneater, get outta there quick. If you can.. haggle a shag out of her too.

stick with her!!!

She might truly be a nice girl, but whether she realizes it or not, she still has feelings for her ex, otherwise she wouldn't even entertain any of his attempts at contacting her. If she REALLY wanted to make a go of it with you, she would have no time for him at all. You need to think about yourself before you get really hurt by her.

I know others who have been through this situation before and, like them, you will probably carry on seeing her because the heart wants what it wants after all!

You'll just have to learn the hard way if you continue to see her, with him still very much in the picture.

Reply 16

Graysybaby

You can't start something new in the middle of loads of emotions. She obviosly is still emotional over the relationship and therefore hasn't got over it. The fact that she is answering the calls just means she doesn't hate him. Talk to her and tell her that you like her but say you don't want to be the rebound guy and say that you'll be there when she is ready. Obviosly if she takes FOREVER and you meet someone else then move it along because it's not fair on you.