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I think my dad is having an affair with someone

My parents have been married for 16 years. I am 14 and I also have a brother who is 9.

I was doing some work on our family computer and there were some notifications from Facebook Messenger from a woman. I’d seen notifications from this person several times before but I’d just ignored them, even though they were a bit suspicious. This time, however, I did check them this time and they were lots of messages and evidence of video calls, late in the night. Initially, I thought the woman was being overly clingy, sending ‘I love you’ gifs and kissing emojis. She also mentioned she was a single mum. But then I saw a message when my dad said something along the lines of ‘remember the first time we kissed?’ and ‘you’re so strict nowadays’.

I honestly don’t know why. My parents genuinely love each other. I’m so close to my dad as well and I really can’t believe it. I’m don’t want to tell my mum because I don’t know how she’ll react. Should I confront my dad? I’m so sorry this was so long but I really need some advice. Thanks.

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That’s not evidence of an affair, if you tell your mum you might very well blow this up and cause a lot of unnecessary heart ache.

Leave it, you had no business checking his notifications to begin with.
Reply 2
Original post by JustOneMoreThing
That’s not evidence of an affair, if you tell your mum you might very well blow this up and cause a lot of unnecessary heart ache.

Leave it, you had no business checking his notifications to begin with.




Okay. Thank you.
Eh to me thats absolutely a sign of an affair “remember the first time we kissed” and the I love you gifs not to mention the late night phone calls if I was your mum I’d want to know that was going on !
Original post by Anonymous
Eh to me thats absolutely a sign of an affair “remember the first time we kissed” and the I love you gifs not to mention the late night phone calls if I was your mum I’d want to know that was going on !

Yeah kinda sus to me
You wouldn’t be ruining the family it’s your dads actions that would do that If he’s guilty and if he isn’t then he can prove it , you can all move on as a family happy days !
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Eh to me thats absolutely a sign of an affair “remember the first time we kissed” and the I love you gifs not to mention the late night phone calls if I was your mum I’d want to know that was going on !

exactly? lmao I didn't really get people trying to tell the person to keep quiet about it, how is it not a sign? I'm confused
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Eh to me thats absolutely a sign of an affair “remember the first time we kissed” and the I love you gifs not to mention the late night phone calls if I was your mum I’d want to know that was going on !

That’s what I was thinking and I’m so worried.
It sounds like this is really stressing you out, so I'd mention it to your dad in private to relieve that stress (if the notifications just came up in the corner of your screen you couldn't help seeing them, tbh). It's not 'proof' of an affair, she could be an ex-girlfriend from before your parents got married, your parents could have an open relationship, or whatever.

I wouldn't go directly to your mum without knowing what's going on.
Reply 9
If i were you, i'd leave it for now until I have solid concrete evidence your dad is cheating on your mum. When the time is right, you can confront your dad about it first, if he behaves fishy then tell your mum about it cause she deserves to know.

If i were your mum, i'd rather be told the truth than to live in a lie and always wonder. Being told a painful truth can hurt but being told a lie is worse; its like a scar.
Original post by becausethenight
It sounds like this is really stressing you out, so I'd mention it to your dad in private to relieve that stress (if the notifications just came up in the corner of your screen you couldn't help seeing them, tbh). It's not 'proof' of an affair, she could be an ex-girlfriend from before your parents got married, your parents could have an open relationship, or whatever.

I wouldn't go directly to your mum without knowing what's going on.

Thank you so much - this really helped.

Original post by Yas7297
If i were you, i'd leave it for now until I have solid concrete evidence your dad is cheating on your mum. When the time is right, you can confront your dad about it first, if he behaves fishy then tell your mum about it cause she deserves to know.

If i were your mum, i'd rather be told the truth than to live in a lie and always wonder. Being told a painful truth can hurt but being told a lie is worse; its like a scar.

Thank you.
R u ok? The family would be ruined if he’s actually confirmed having an affair. I suggest the op to talk to their dad about the messages and how they popped up on screen and who the woman is. If he seems to be lying, tell him he needs to tell the truth otherwise you’ll tell your mum.
Original post by SparkleFace
R u ok? The family would be ruined if he’s actually confirmed having an affair. I suggest the op to talk to their dad about the messages and how they popped up on screen and who the woman is. If he seems to be lying, tell him he needs to tell the truth otherwise you’ll tell your mum.

Thank you.
This seems very familiar.
Thank you so much.
:eyeball: You 40 it something?
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you.

Honestly OP, I hope everything will be fine and that it’s just a misunderstanding. So don’t stress and worry. God forbid, the worst case scenario is that he is having an affair in which it is something that your mum and your dad have to talk about. This is the point where you can’t do much, perhaps just comfort your sibling. But don’t worry about it. You are a kid. Kids are supposed to tell their parents about what they’re worried about and what’s made them sad. Even if it’s to do with affairs as a parents responsibility is to look after you and have a strong relationship, not something that can be thrown away or is weak. No mater what the other responders say, you are a kid, you are allowed to talk about such things with your parents. See what your dad says then tell your mum if it wasn’t a misunderstanding. If it is a misunderstanding hopefully then you shouldn’t worry your mum or worry yourself as your dad loves you, your sibling and mum. I hope the best.
Original post by SparkleFace
Honestly OP, I hope everything will be fine and that it’s just a misunderstanding. So don’t stress and worry. God forbid, the worst case scenario is that he is having an affair in which it is something that your mum and your dad have to talk about. This is the point where you can’t do much, perhaps just comfort your sibling. But don’t worry about it. You are a kid. Kids are supposed to tell their parents about what they’re worried about and what’s made them sad. Even if it’s to do with affairs as a parents responsibility is to look after you and have a strong relationship, not something that can be thrown away or is weak. No mater what the other responders say, you are a kid, you are allowed to talk about such things with your parents. See what your dad says then tell your mum if it wasn’t a misunderstanding. If it is a misunderstanding hopefully then you shouldn’t worry your mum or worry yourself as your dad loves you, your sibling and mum. I hope the best.

Thank you so much.
Original post by Anonymous
My parents have been married for 16 years. I am 14 and I also have a brother who is 9.
I was doing some work on our family computer and there were some notifications from Facebook Messenger from a woman. I’d seen notifications from this person several times before but I’d just ignored them, even though they were a bit suspicious. This time, however, I did check them this time and they were lots of messages and evidence of video calls, late in the night. Initially, I thought the woman was being overly clingy, sending ‘I love you’ gifs and kissing emojis. She also mentioned she was a single mum. But then I saw a message when my dad said something along the lines of ‘remember the first time we kissed?’ and ‘you’re so strict nowadays’.
I honestly don’t know why. My parents genuinely love each other. I’m so close to my dad as well and I really can’t believe it. I’m don’t want to tell my mum because I don’t know how she’ll react. Should I confront my dad? I’m so sorry this was so long but I really need some advice. Thanks.

Mine were married for 23 yrs. I am looking for someone who would post a disgraceful comment on the fb of that *****. I have done it before but was cought and punished... im not gonna give up however.
Original post by JustOneMoreThing
That’s not evidence of an affair, if you tell your mum you might very well blow this up and cause a lot of unnecessary heart ache.
Leave it, you had no business checking his notifications to begin with.

this guy was definitely the dad

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