Should my parents take my phone at 17?

So this has been an ongoing thing for about a year about my parents thinking having instagram is wrong, and that me wanting to have social media is bizarre. Im 17, and still live at home, and my parents seem to think that I am still a 12 year old girl who has no concept of the real world. I was never allowed social media as a young teen, and so decided at 16 to get it for myself. They found these accounts along with the boyfriend I had. I was made to break up with him the instant they found out and they made me delete all accounts. I decided after i turned 17 that I would get instagram again, and in 8 weeks got over 1000 followers. I didnt have a boyfriend but I was getting a lot of attention from boys, and when my parents found this account they thought that i was stringing all these guys along and forcing them to like me, when I was just being friendly. They have taken away my phone and changed the password on my instagram so I cant have access to it anymore. Is this okay!! Because my parents keep telling me I need to grow up but how can I when they keep on treating me like a child. How can I approach this with my parents?

It's ridiculous but if they paid for the phone and all I suppose they could (really nastily) take it away. Wait till you're 18 and show them you don't like being pushed around

I pay for the phone so they legally cant take it but my dad seems to think its my house my rules

Then you have every right to hold onto it and everything, depending on how far you want to take it. You should probably plan on moving out in any case

sounds like they're overeacting, I suggest just trying to reason with them and explain that you want to be more independent

They might have real genuine concern, are you a vulnerable person in some way? Are you very pretty and get preyed upon by guys a lot? (1000 followers in that amount of time could be a lot depending on how it occurred). There are likely a lot of guys on there just wanting to hook up with girls for sex and not care about her, i.e emotionally, pregnancy, STD's, and will just move on, or guys that will harrass women and try to control them by being mean and abusive.

Other that do you come from a religious background, Muslim, etc? That's often comes with a lot of control from parents though may not be a bad thing if they are looking out for you.

If none of that applies them possibly you might have parents that struggle to let go of the child rearing phase as its territory they gave become accustomed to. They may just be genuinely concerned and protective but don't realise that by not allowing you exposure to any risks that could have a negative impact also in you not learning to be street smart and experiencing life as other people do even if it is at some times negative. That said there are some real psychos out there and they try and dominate others without their consent and can be a nightmare getting them to f*ck the hell off and I say that as a guy from stuff I've seen happen to other people.

The poor 13 yr old lad that got stabbed recently was as a result of another 13 yr old essentially putting out a hit on him via Instagram. Social media can have a very dark side for young people. That said, by 17 you should be allowed a bit more freedom although having a secret boyfriend at 16 doesn't necessarily give them confidence.

Have you spoken to them about how you feel? They aren’t being consistent or fair and you’re almost an adult. Being really strict only makes the child rebel more and it destroys the relationship.

I have tried to sit down and talk to them but they dont believe that I need to have instagram and need to have my phone. The reason I have instagram in the first place is because I am rebeling against them because they have never let me have it before. I tell them that I use it to contact my friends and also to promote self love and self confidence and show young girls that it doesnt matter what you look like you are beautiful. But they dont understand it

What are you planning to do in the future? They can’t really do anything once you move out.

Within the next year or two Im going to university to study medicine, but I dont know where yet. They want me to stay at home so that they can keep an eye on me but I dont know if I want to anymore

Do you think they would let you move out? I definitely wouldn’t stay at home while they’re acting like that. They don’t realise that they’re pushing you away and that’s sad.

I have been bought up from a rich background. My dad is very, very wealthy and believes money is power, and uses it to shelter me. I went to private secondary school which sheltered me a lot from the outside world, but I go to a public sixth form where I have truly grown up and become more aware of my surroundings. A lot of my followers are younger girls who are looking for a role model because I tend to post things on how to be more confident in yourself. I am a plus sized girl and although I consider myself to be pretty, I have had a lot of backlash, so use my instagram to promote self love and self care. I have a few guys on there that I go to college with but none of them have tried anything because they know I am talking to someone.

I get that my parents are worried about me but I need to start living my life the way I want to live it. They need to let me go at some point. I mean my dad has said im not allowed a boyfriend till im 25, and not allowed to have kids till im 30 and they seem to think that i need to be sheltered