Parents pressuring me to marry from Pakistan

I'm Pakistani as well, this situation is heartbreaking.

Personally, if I were in that situation, I'd try to prove to my father that I am independent and mature enough to decide who to marry and when to marry because it should be me who makes this decision of a lifetime.

I do empathise with your father's concerns, he wants the best scenario for you - but forcing good intentions on others is nothing more than an evil act. Marriage is a lot more unstable in the UK, and it's good he understands that, but try to convince him (asking your mother for support as well) to give you just one more year. In which you find a guy (hehe u already have someone) that is hopefully good enough and honest enough for his standards.

I think this is probably one of the only things you could push your father into doing - giving you just a little more time, but agreeing if you can't find someone suitable by then then you will marry your cousin. I know it's not ideal but it's one of the only solutions that will let him protect you in case things go south, so he would probably agree.

I may have left you with more questions than answers, but I wish you the best.

Lol non-desi are unaware of the struggle.dude its not easy to move out of the desi household and call the police on them lolll.
Just sit them down and have a chat.I know its easy said than done but trust me they are not gonna understand it until you say it out loud and clear.Tell them you're not ready for a marriage yet,tell them how islam gives full authority to the woman to decide their spouse,tell them about all the issues you might face in the pakistan and how you'll have to leave them or if he were to immigrate then it would not be easy for him to settle down and find a job.Just talk to them about this.Atleast for 2 years remain single meet that guy and then ask him send rishta to your house no need to tell your parents how you met bec desi parents do not take online dating seriously

The only issue is he’s not very understanding. His point is that I should at least say yes to a proposal from Pakistan because I am 23. He says marriages in the uk don’t last, everyone is now marrying from Pakistan so why can’t you. But I really don’t want to marry from back home. I think if I tell him I need time to see if I can find someone from here he will say this “ that’s fine but the proposals I have shown you will be gone by then and I won’t have anyone for you to marry” because he keeps saying that and that is why he is getting me to say yes to one from back home as soon as

Literally I can’t move out neither can I call the police but as much as I love my parents I feel like they’re being selfish and just wanting to me marry for the sake of their respect oh and my dad also keeps saying another line “I want you to marry a guy from Pakistan from my braadri” like seriously idk what’s wrong with him and he really wants me to marry from back home

I know it sounds like I'm repeating myself, and I do apologise for it, but I think, this being something that will decide the next 60 years of your life, and also the existences of your children, I truly believe it's up to you to stand up for yourself just that little bit more. Don't throw chairs or anything, but try to talk it out.
As a fellow not-very-understanding person, sometimes I need people to really act up to me to understand that I was being a jerk.

I'm actually from Pakistan so I can totally understand your situation and take my advice Pakistani men have a very patriarchal mindset but some of them are actually nice.I've guy friends here who are really supportive and caring but honestly its hard to find a good spouse here.Karachi has developed quite alot so its not as backward or underdeveloped as the media shows but yea finding a right man is a big deal here. This marrying into the same sect is such a disgusting mindset even my parents want me to get married to a sunni guy.Desi parents have this mindset bec the people in their times had radical people.They were extremists if someone were to marry a shia the shia guy would try to force his sunni wife to change the sect (basically they were not accepting) but now the times have changed so muchh.The society has progressed sm.i think you should tell him you're not ready to get married now you need some time to about it and ask your insta guy to send rishta after you meet him

Exactly my point and to be honest I’m not surprised that my dad is saying all this because he has always been a very strict back minded father. With the guy that I am speaking to he is so nice, down to earth and we both like each other and always speak about our future it’s just a matter of meeting him now and hopefully meeting his mum after that. Inshallah once that Happens I can tell my family about him. As of for my dad he said to me today if I don’t say yes to a proposal from back home he won’t ever speak to me again, neither does he want me have his surname anymore and neither will he ever find me a Proposal again. This man is not understanding to speak to

the only reason marriages in the uk don't last as long as in pakistan is probably because the stigma around divorce in asian countries? also think of how these men in pakistan will treat you? they're most likely misogynistic.

I haven't been talking to my dad since he slapped me so its totally worth it! Tbh hes just trying to manipulate you.Its not that serious desi parents say stuff like this to convince their kids but after a year or few months they get normal lol.they are weird but serious emotional blackmailers

First of all, I`m really sorry for what you are going through. Parents should never force their children to marry someone of their preference. Keep in mind that you are a 23-year-old who is about to graduate so can make choices for yourself. I have zero idea about Pakistani culture but assuming that your parents are Muslim you can tell them that Islam doesn't allow forced marriages if you are planning on getting married the person has to be your preference. And do point them out that you are the one who is going to experience and go through the marriage so it`s okay for you to take a risk even if it means to marry someone out of Pakistan. Your opinion and decision matters in your marriage. And if the guy you are talking to is Muslim (assuming that you are Muslim) you can also point out that he is Muslim so there's nothing wrong with that. But telling all this can also trigger and make things quick as I`ve literally heard scenarios where parents advance the wedding dates when children open up. So better wait until your parents actually fix you up with someone or at least until you graduate/ meet the person you are talking to. Does the person you are talking to have an idea on the whole situation? and is he like okay with taking a risk?
During the time being consider talking to relatives who you can trust and are open-minded on these issues so that you have an adult to support when things go wrong?
And finally no matter how things get hard to be sure that there's a way out and never lose hope. May God bless you!

I know what you mean but I do really love both my parents and especially my dad I don’t ever wana do anything to hurt them. But the fact that he’s pressuring me to marry someone from his choice back home has hurt me so bad. My dad is very stubborn I genuinely feel like if I say no to his choice again tomorrow he won’t ever speak to me again