Am I right to be angry with my flatmates?

Last night we were coming home from the Student Union. We now live off campus, in Bow [East London]. I was slightly annoyed at them already because I was in a hurry to get home because I needed the toilet, but I didn't want to rush ahead because they were quite drunk.

When we got home I got ready for bed, then I head shouting from outside my window. I looked out and saw two young girls...about 16 I'd say...yelling insults at someone. I then went downstairs to discover my flatmates out of the flat, leaving both the door and metal 'grill' wide open and leaning over the outside staircase shouting at the girls.

I asked them to get inside because I don't want to cause any trouble. They just didn't listen to me. My one flatmate evidentally thought they were spanish [he is obsessed with spain] and was talking to them in Spanish, because they didn't understand they probably assumed they were getting insulted. They stormed up the steps towards my flat and started yelling abuse at which point I started to panic. The two girls weren't particularly frightning I just don't want to make any enemies in East London. One said she had twelve brothers an obvious exaggeration, but it only takes one person she knows to potentially cause us problems.

Eventually I pulled both of my flatmates into my flat and shut the door. The girls disappeared quickly. My flatmates though don't accept any responsibility. They don't feel they did anything wrong in leaving the flat, with the door wide open and getting the girls angry. One flatmate said 'What can two young girls do?' but he fails to understand that there are some people that carry knives at that age - and they might know someone that could hurt us. Obviously I don't think the chances of that are very high, but why risk it?

I think I deserve an apology and am going to some quite childish measures to try and get it. I'm not letting them use anything that belongs to be [the majority of things in the house] and am barely speaking to them. But how can I get them to understand how irresponsible they're being? For another example, I came home tonight to discover that they had left the patio door [onto a balcony] open! They really make me feel unsafe in what is supposed to be my home.

Can anyone give me any assurances that I'm in the right? Or perhaps say something that might make me think differently on the matter? I'm at a loss as to what to do.

Reply 1

libertine861

2

I would be angry if they were leaving the flat unlocked and unsecured but as for the argument with the girls, their responsible for their own actions. I would just keep out of it, I'm assuming their old enough to look after themselves and accept the consequences of their own actions. I think you have the right to be angry about the place being left unlocked but as for an apology for the argument that they had, I think that's a bit over the top.

Reply 2

Seona-Jane

your flat mates sound like a right pair of tits. surely they cant have had any prior experience of the area if they questioned what two girls from east london can do...

o.0

Reply 3

Miss Monkey

10

I'd be annoyed at them! Leaving the place unlocked is bang out of order in my opinion- it puts both your possessions and you at risk. Is there anyway you can sit down and decide on some rules for you all to follow?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

I realise they are responsible for their our actions. But the fact the arguement was basically right outside my front door that scares me. Those two girls now know where we live, so if they wanted to chuck a brick through our window - what is to stop them? I just feel like they annoyed two people for no reason. I don't really want an apology for the arguement itself, but for making me feel unsafe in my own home.

Reply 5

libertine861

2

Anonymous

I realise they are responsible for their our actions. But the fact the arguement was basically right outside my front door that scares me. Those two girls now know where we live, so if they wanted to chuck a brick through our window - what is to stop them? I just feel like they annoyed two people for no reason. I don't really want an apology for the arguement itself, but for making me feel unsafe in my own home.

well what was the argument about? how did it start? if the girls have a vendetta (which is unlikely-you're just thinking worse case scenario here) then it's against them and not you. Granted, it may affect you if they brick your house but how likely is that?

Reply 6

crystaltips

alas another sorry tale about the evils of drink!
hic :biggrin:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

The arguement was about nothing really, I think the girls thought they were being insulted and my flatmate didn't help by constantly talking to them in Spanish. I was pleading with them to stop talking and to get inside the flat but they wouldn't. The other flatmate also kept laughing [she's a nervous laugher, and will laugh at anything] and that just made the girls even angrier.

Reply 8

libertine861

2

Anonymous

The arguement was about nothing really, I think the girls thought they were being insulted and my flatmate didn't help by constantly talking to them in Spanish. I was pleading with them to stop talking and to get inside the flat but they wouldn't. The other flatmate also kept laughing [she's a nervous laugher, and will laugh at anything] and that just made the girls even angrier.

the girls themselves were probably drunk, they probably forgot all about it the next morning. I wouldn't read too much into it. Fear can sometimes turn mole hills into mountains.

Reply 9

crystaltips

libertine861

the girls themselves were probably drunk, they probably forgot all about it the next morning. I wouldn't read too much into it. Fear can sometimes turn mole hills into mountains.

Reply 10

Brightonion

i think your over reacting. NOt letting them lose your stuff? what a way to make a situation even more pathetic and chidish. Not that they are in the right, just lighten up imo. :smile:

Reply 11

rico dan man

12

yeh its a bit too childis tbh but your right to be angry bow can be a quite a rough area

Reply 12

Jayjayjay

1

Not every youth in London carries a knife or weapon or knows someone who does.
Just make sure you are careful and encourage others to be careful regardless of where you are living or staying.

Remember that even though you are all living seperately you are a unit of sorts and causing and encouraging a rift this early on will not bode well for the future, it may esculate and cause other problems beween you and your flatmates even though you were simply trying to calm things down. Ignoring them and being a little petty about who uses what is probably not the best way forward.

All the best.

Reply 13

f00ddude

yes your overreacting, they were stupid, but to expect an apology is just arrogant

Reply 14

Kimberley*xo

I think your flatmates were stupid to leave the door open.. it sounds like they wanted trouble tbh.

Am I right to be angry with my flatmates?

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