Friends don’t trust me, I don’t know what to do (bit of a rant)

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
Basically a few of us are going through a rough time so we’ve tried to be supportive of each other and letting everyone know we can speak to each other whenever we need, the thing is, the friend I’ve known for almost 5 years doesn’t speak to me about her problems anymore. We used to walk home from school and just vent to each other which I miss, but we had some issues starting college. It was really hard for me because I think I have social anxiety so making friends was incredibly difficult and she’s a social butterfly so it was really hard trying to hang out with her when she was having so much fun and I couldn’t manage. So we stopped hanging out for a bit and I was a bit of a prick, she’s admitted that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be my friend at that point.
But then we cleared everything up once I joined her in her new friends group who are awesome. I’m a lot more comfortable and confident around them but she doesn’t come to me with her problems anymore.
I feel bad because I’m going through a bit of an identity crisis and self hate kind of circle, I’m also really reaching my limit with my family and finding it really difficult to go to the shop or for walks cuz of confrontation and seeing people which I hate because I’m almost 18 and I feel so much like a little incapable kid. I’ve talked to my friends a couple of times but they don’t really k is the extent of things and I don’t know if I want to tell them because my friend is struggling with anxiety and depression and they’re all going through a rough time. I’m just kind of getting to a point where I don’t feel needed.
I finally found a group of friends that I love and feel like I fit in with, but I just feel bad about myself that they don’t trust me enough to tell me their problems especially my old friend.
It just makes me sad when they have problems and I want to be there for them cuz I really care and want to help them but I feel like they don’t think I care as much as I do or they don’t trust me.
I want to be someone they can talk to especially since we can relate to all our problems but it’s so hard for me to talk in general or start conversations or ask to go for a walk with them that I stress myself up about it beforehand to the point where I end up not doing it and just staying at home or in bed.
I just want to be a good friend, I know I was a bit **** when we all started college but I just don’t know how to socialise well and I’m not always great with emotions. I know it’s kind of selfish like I’ve turned her problems into something about me, but I just feel like if she doesn’t want to talk to me does she even consider me as a friend?
Like I know she/they don’t know how hard it is for me to initiate stuff because I don’t talk about my struggles that much or to that extent and I’m confident around them, but I just wish she could come to me with her problems, I just want to feel like I’m needed like I’m not a burden. I’m trying to be a better person and want a chance to prove it but I feel like I’ve missed that opportunity, and now that I find it difficult to leave the house and start a conversation I just think I’m going to loose them especially when we all go to uni.
I just feel left out and like I can’t be trusted in their eyes and it just hurt me. But I don’t want to be selfish or make them feel bad that they don’t talk to me because I don’t want to be so sensitive or make their problems worse.
I don’t really know what to do, any advice?
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Bang Outta Order
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#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
Oh HELL NAW. This is too long lol what's going on here. Long story short right...if they don't like you, screw em. Life's too short.
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DevilTowne
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#3
Report 1 year ago
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
Oh HELL NAW. This is too long lol what's going on here. Long story short right...if they don't like you, screw em. Life's too short.
Honestly, in a nutshell, this is the best advice. Life truly is too short to care about people who take your kindness for granted. Instead, pick up a hobby, try to find someone who can help you cope with your anxiety, do something that makes you happy. The people you choose as friends do not define you. However, if you're unsure if they really don't trust you, bring up how you feel to all of them. Communication is everything, after all.
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username5457326
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#4
Report 1 year ago
#4
they don't sound like true friends by the sound of it
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