Confused and don’t know what to do or how to feelWatch
So honestly just to get right into it I’m honestly just confused on everything and feel pretty lonely and unsure. Yep this is probably gonna get deep but may as well.
So as I’m writing this the thoughts that go through my head aren’t harmful in anyway they’re just annoying and I can’t get my mind clear sometimes. Just some context I’m a maladaptive daydreamer and have social anxiety sometimes, although I do work on social anxiety and it can get better I feel in the future the lockdown does not help and has subconsciously made me feel more socially isolated which is the one thing I don’t want. I have to resort to online contact with people which is something I honestly despise icl, I honestly would like and much prefer irl contact and having someone’s physical company. Although that doesn’t sound special Ik for a fact I’m not the only one who probably feels that way.
So yeah it’s safe to say I’m kinda mentally ill on the inside, despite how much I think I’m alright, I am definitely not in control of myself as I get too carried away with thinking, dreaming and worrying. It sucks
I haven’t turned to any of my friends yet because I’m still tryna find my vibe and who I work well with comfortably, it’s safe to say I’m getting somewhere with it but there’s no one along the way, apart from myself obviously as I’m tryna find myself. Idk it’s very lonely.
I think I know the friend group or social group I’d like and it’s pretty much just a second family type of vibe that’s all. It’s hard to find tho and I’m hoping uni has something in store of me, I really do. If not it will actually be horrible I don’t know what to do.
If you’re reading this and are confused what I’m on about, well this is all just coming from my head, all raw and no second thoughts or tampering.
I feel like I’ve gotta plan on what to do in the future, like I’m not lost in that way I know what to do but it’s just socially and mentally I don’t. I just wanna meet the right people that feel like a family in a way and have my mind cleared a little bit and feel normal in a way.
I know for a fact posting it on this forum ain’t gonna clear my problems or anything but it just feels nice putting out my thoughts out there for a change. Like a lil vent lol.
I’ve got interests like dancing and music that I’m definitely getting back into and soon hopefully writing and animating too. But yeah, just a lil bit stuck I guess. Also doesn’t help I’m doing a levels rn but hopefully I can firm, just gotta grind class work and homework and hand them in well and hopefully then my TAGs will be alright, I’m year 12 rn. Hopefully it won’t be as messed up as my gcses which ruined my a level choices a lot which sucks. It’s getting better and I feel if I start getting up on my feet more it should work out, school grades and mental health that is. Socially I honestly don’t know, I’m naturally an introverted person but I’m ambiverted as of recently so yeah things change and so does that.
Okay I think that’s all? Idk, I’ll see, I’ve tried staying composed and hope I won’t break down to this anytime soon, it would be mad detrimental especially Cus it’s a levels but yeah.
If you have anything to say(don’t be too harsh or pressing lol) then go ahead I’d love to hear something, it’s been a while since I’ve heard anyone really talk something this deep in a while. Feels nice