The Student Room Group

Im 17 and i feel like im failing at life and im being left behind

Okay so im 17 and i started year 12 and everything. Im legit not close with anyone from highschool anymore. Whenever i text them they leave me on delivered for like daaays at a time. Its not the same anymore everyone is doing their own things. They are close with new ppl. They hv moved on i hv been left behind. One of my friends is getting popular on tiktok. Some are getting jobs. Ppl all around me are doing the things they love and are happy. Im broke. Im doing nothing its veru sad amd i feel like im being left behind and like i feel lile im running out of time. I wanna do so much things like start a yt channel. Write books. Get back on fiverr. Make money on redbubble. I wanna be happy etc. But i see all these teens being finavial stable hvibg their **** together and i feel lile im meant to hv all my **** figured out. Im 17 and i cant do anything. I cant cook. Im **** at school. I cant use a washing machine. I cant do my hair. I dont know how to do make up. Or how ro draw. Or sew. Or anything really.
Reply 1
My best advice for you is to focus on one thing at a time. While there are many things that you want to do and get done, getting overwhelmed by all these things will only stress you out and make u feel hopeless that at the end of the day you wont have had anything done. My second advice is to not compare yourself to other people. Each life is different and each person has faced different opportunities and have their own journeys.
Plus, during these complicated times, its easier to be influenced by the media and seeing all these people doing things online and getting famous etc. But its important to remind yourself that that isn't reality. While they may be doing what they are doing, it doesn't reflect the majority of the population and it doesnt then mean that you as a person are failing because you aren't doing what they are doing.
Heres my tip for you first to do (example)... 1. if you able to, go to a washing machine and ask somebody to help you how to work it. Thats one thing done, then move on to the second... learn some cool hairstyles on youtube maybe. 2. create a plan and write down what things you could do on your Youtube channel. Think about what you love doing and how you could capture that and then record it. but don't let this consume you as year 12 is a lot of work on its own. Don't overwhelm yourself with too many things because you are still young and have your whole life ahead of you to do things.
I'm 18 in a few days and used to feel the same way.

Work on directing your attention more inward than outward, and what you're doing instead of what everyone else is doing. Once I began doing that and being more mindful of my thoughts, I felt a desire to start spending my time more wisely and take each day at a time. Identify tiny things you can do to improve your skills or yourself, and eventually they will build up. It got much better from there.

Remember no two stories are the same; your journey can and will differ from those around you, and that's what makes life so interesting.
every 17 year old goes through this trust me
I think social media is the culprit here. Watch the social dilemma on Netflix. That might get you to at least limit the time you spend on social media. Especially if you have lots of different social media accounts. The peace you get from taking a break, especially from instagram, is blissful.
I’m in the same situation, I have acquaintances but not really any close friends atm and don’t have any hobbies either. I’ve cooked a few meals for myself in the past weeks but that’s about it. Deleted all social media except snap bc I got jealous of what other people my age were up to. I fall asleep in most of my online lessons bc I go to sleep at 3 and haven’t been outside since the Christmas half term or read any books in ages. Everything’s bad. I hope for the sake of both our mental health covid disappears✨
Reply 6
Original post by I. Infinity
I think social media is the culprit here. Watch the social dilemma on Netflix. That might get you to at least limit the time you spend on social media. Especially if you have lots of different social media accounts. The peace you get from taking a break, especially from instagram, is blissful.

Golden advice here
Original post by Sadgirl23311
Okay so im 17 and i started year 12 and everything. Im legit not close with anyone from highschool anymore. Whenever i text them they leave me on delivered for like daaays at a time. Its not the same anymore everyone is doing their own things. They are close with new ppl. They hv moved on i hv been left behind. One of my friends is getting popular on tiktok. Some are getting jobs. Ppl all around me are doing the things they love and are happy. Im broke. Im doing nothing its veru sad amd i feel like im being left behind and like i feel lile im running out of time. I wanna do so much things like start a yt channel. Write books. Get back on fiverr. Make money on redbubble. I wanna be happy etc. But i see all these teens being finavial stable hvibg their **** together and i feel lile im meant to hv all my **** figured out. Im 17 and i cant do anything. I cant cook. Im **** at school. I cant use a washing machine. I cant do my hair. I dont know how to do make up. Or how ro draw. Or sew. Or anything really.


I’ve just turned 18 and feel a fair bit behind all my mates ngl. Never had a boyfriend, although all my friends that have had a fair few ,all have trust issues now and it seems to have distracted them from other things they now deem more important ,so don’t really feel I’ve missed out on anything there so far lol.
Don’t have a job, because personal circumstances meant I couldn’t get one before we went into lockdown. Also meant I couldn’t get my license.
Here’s the thing that’s keeping me anchored. Next year I’ll be going to uni, this chapter of my life will close and I’ll just be another person in a sea of people trying to make things happen for themselves . Five years from now I’ll probably have everything I don’t atm, and guess what? At 23 my actual life will really only have just started and I’ll still be pretty young. I think we all try to rush everything in this race to get to 18, but our brains haven’t even developed into maturity until we’re 24. And after 18? Well it’s not a race anymore , it’s a marathon , everyone’s running at different speeds and no one’s really out to beat anyone else . This idea that by next year you should have your life figured out is something that’s just been perpetuated for decades by people who have been able to accomplish a moderate amount of things while still being extremely young. You are not lesser than your peers for unintentionally not conforming to something that these same people realistically don’t have a plausible justification for.
Just take things one goal at the time , and make the goals feasible . Don’t set yourself to get a car , a job , a multitude of skills , start a YouTube channel and have a glow up by next year . It won’t happen , it could , but you’ll overwhelm yourself with the prospect trust me.
Just prioritise what you care about at that moment in time , cos soon all these people you’re measuring up against will move on with their lives and you’ll realise you’ve spent the time looking at them racing past when you could’ve paced yourself and gotten there just as quickly.
Original post by I. Infinity
I think social media is the culprit here. Watch the social dilemma on Netflix. That might get you to at least limit the time you spend on social media. Especially if you have lots of different social media accounts. The peace you get from taking a break, especially from instagram, is blissful.


thank you i am going to watch it and I will deffo be deleting socials i need to focus on me
Original post by mstickbug
I’m in the same situation, I have acquaintances but not really any close friends atm and don’t have any hobbies either. I’ve cooked a few meals for myself in the past weeks but that’s about it. Deleted all social media except snap bc I got jealous of what other people my age were up to. I fall asleep in most of my online lessons bc I go to sleep at 3 and haven’t been outside since the Christmas half term or read any books in ages. Everything’s bad. I hope for the sake of both our mental health covid disappears✨

woahh this is meee, we are exactly the same person can we be friends please I need them lol
Original post by Sadgirl23311
woahh this is meee, we are exactly the same person can we be friends please I need them lol

yess ofc and so do i it's getting so lonely in lockdown lmao
Original post by Sadgirl23311
Okay so im 17 and i started year 12 and everything. Im legit not close with anyone from highschool anymore. Whenever i text them they leave me on delivered for like daaays at a time. Its not the same anymore everyone is doing their own things. They are close with new ppl. They hv moved on i hv been left behind. One of my friends is getting popular on tiktok. Some are getting jobs. Ppl all around me are doing the things they love and are happy. Im broke. Im doing nothing its veru sad amd i feel like im being left behind and like i feel lile im running out of time. I wanna do so much things like start a yt channel. Write books. Get back on fiverr. Make money on redbubble. I wanna be happy etc. But i see all these teens being finavial stable hvibg their **** together and i feel lile im meant to hv all my **** figured out. Im 17 and i cant do anything. I cant cook. Im **** at school. I cant use a washing machine. I cant do my hair. I dont know how to do make up. Or how ro draw. Or sew. Or anything really.


you dont need anyone. except your family.
trust keep you head down and revise year 12. i regret not staying after school to revise.
8 people from 6th form got into exford/cambridge. they didnt have many friends- but had one or two smart friends.


if you do get friends, make sure you get people who will boost your success along friendship.
Learn skills slowly

Make friends slowly. Getting 3 A's at A level is more important than friends that will eventually leave you
Original post by Sadgirl23311
Okay so im 17 and i started year 12 and everything. Im legit not close with anyone from highschool anymore. Whenever i text them they leave me on delivered for like daaays at a time. Its not the same anymore everyone is doing their own things. They are close with new ppl. They hv moved on i hv been left behind. One of my friends is getting popular on tiktok. Some are getting jobs. Ppl all around me are doing the things they love and are happy. Im broke. Im doing nothing its veru sad amd i feel like im being left behind and like i feel lile im running out of time. I wanna do so much things like start a yt channel. Write books. Get back on fiverr. Make money on redbubble. I wanna be happy etc. But i see all these teens being finavial stable hvibg their **** together and i feel lile im meant to hv all my **** figured out. Im 17 and i cant do anything. I cant cook. Im **** at school. I cant use a washing machine. I cant do my hair. I dont know how to do make up. Or how ro draw. Or sew. Or anything really.


Hi Sadgirl23311, I know exactly how you feel. When I started year 12 last year, I was dropped by all of the friends I had, had been broken up with and found myself alone, scared and feeling quite hopeless. I'm sorry you're going through that, I know it's really tough especially when you're in a new environment. But there is something quite amazing in that, you can have a completely clean slate, a fresh start and you can make new, better friends and find out who you are and what you want from life. We have this habit of looking at other people and comparing where we are in our lives to where other people are, and what we have in comparison to others, but ask yourself this, if you couldn't see what these people were doing online all the time, would you feel the same? You see, it's not a problem with you, you are not a failure and you are certainly not hopeless. There is so much pressure on young people to know exactly what they're going to do in life by the time they're 16/17, but you don't have to know, how are we supposed to know when we haven't experienced enough of the world and what it has to offer in order to understand what it is that truly makes us happy?
My advice would be out with the old and in with the new. Let go of the past and live as presently as possible, do what makes you happy, not what you think you should be doing based on what others are doing. As soon as I took steps to letting go of the past and people who weren't good for me, I found that I started to live happier and started to come back into my own, doing what made me happy and what meant something to me, not trying to change who I was in order to be liked or trying to be the people I was comparing myself to on social media. I know change is scary, believe me I couldn't even change my room around without freaking out and crying for a week lmao, but when we just accept that it is what it is and it's what we do with it that counts, change becomes a lot more a blessing and new experiences can roll in and roll out stress-free.
I really hope this helps you! :smile:

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