Blocking bf after arguments ? Not normal. Help asap?!

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
When me snd my bf get into heated arguments I tell him we’re done and this time I blocked him on every single platform. I’ve said this like 5times now. When I say it I kinda mean it. Like I don’t want a relationship with someone like how he’s acting or things that caused the heated argument. But I want him.
I know this is a toxic thing to do.

2 days ago we had a heated argument I said we’re done I don’t want him and blocked him on everywhere. I’m really sad and can’t sleep at night. He said last time I did this that I shouldn’t do it again but I did now because I was bottling so much up and got fed up. Things is before when he tries calls me etc snd talk it out I would go back but if he wasn’t to do this we would never speak again.

Any advice on this? ( please no Criticism my mental health already so ****ed, I don’t have no one to speak to or get advice from )
0
reply
V℮rsions
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Sounds like a bad relationship in general to be fair, both of you are getting into arguments, you seem to be reserved about renewing the relationship.. to be honest I wouldn't feel to bad about breaking that off if it's really not making you happy. You should also decide whether you're going to keep them blocked for good or unblocked for good - because unblocking and talking only to re-block isn't doing either of you any good. It's almost provocative. Honestly it's up to you, but at the end of the day I think we both know he's not the one - and hey, that might not be one persons fault in the relationship, some people just aren't compatible.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by V℮rsions)
Sounds like a bad relationship in general to be fair, both of you are getting into arguments, you seem to be reserved about renewing the relationship.. to be honest I wouldn't feel to bad about breaking that off if it's really not making you happy. You should also decide whether you're going to keep them blocked for good or unblocked for good - because unblocking and talking only to re-block isn't doing either of you any good. It's almost provocative. Honestly it's up to you, but at the end of the day I think we both know he's not the one - and hey, that might not be one persons fault in the relationship, some people just aren't compatible.
Thing is he’s the perfect boyfriend but when we get in heated arguments it’s just so bad. Majority times we resolve things quick but when it’s like this it’s just ugh. Last time it was like this was about 2months ago. I do want to be with him but not with someone that acts like how he acts sometimes. I know the blocking and unblocking so childish and toxic but I can’t help it it’s like that’s my only peace in the argument because doing that snd saying we’re done is the only way out the argument. He told me last time to not do that again because puts him off but I just had ENOUGH and wanted to leave his house immediately. In that moment in time I want to end the relationship I don’t want nothing to do with him but as days go on I think about the situation more snd stuff like that. Ugh I’m just so like. He’s been the best boyfriend I’ve ever had but when these arguments happen it ruins it all. I also swore on a loved ones grave to him that were done and I’m never coming back in the argument. ( so childish to do I feel so *****y about everything )
0
reply
LovelyMrFox
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
Do you really want to be with someone that you constantly want to break up with? Perhaps ending things and blocking him was for the best, if immature in the moment.
Take some time away from dating and relationships to work on yourself.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Do you really want to be with someone that you constantly want to break up with? Perhaps ending things and blocking him was for the best, if immature in the moment.
Take some time away from dating and relationships to work on yourself.
Yeah I guess so. It’s just that as days go on I want to get back with him and I start feeling guilty. Guess this is normal feeling
0
reply
Amy06
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
I think if you two really want to be together and make it work then a discussion needs to be had, and you both need to work on things.

If there's a theme to what you argue about try and see how you can both fix that, or make it better. It's good in a way to remove yourself from arguments before they get more heated.

It's also good to ask yourself if you really love him like really. Or if you love being with him and don't want to be alone. Figure out if it's worth fighting for and improve
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#7
(Original post by Elektra06)
I think if you two really want to be together and make it work then a discussion needs to be had, and you both need to work on things.

If there's a theme to what you argue about try and see how you can both fix that, or make it better. It's good in a way to remove yourself from arguments before they get more heated.

It's also good to ask yourself if you really love him like really. Or if you love being with him and don't want to be alone. Figure out if it's worth fighting for and improve
Well I’ve dumped him and blocked him everywhere so I don’t think this will work. I think I’m just going to wait until he reaches out if he does. If he don’t then it’s not meant to be
0
reply
Final Fantasy
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
How often does this happen, how often has it been happening? If it's a regular occurrence and you still love each other maybe you would be benefit seeing a therapist together? It's worth it if you genuinely are happy together most of the time at least give it a try and help identify the problems in your relationship. Otherwise, unfortunately it seems like this is as you describe a toxic relationship and perhaps better for both of you to end it, for your own sakes and each others.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#9
(Original post by Final Fantasy)
How often does this happen, how often has it been happening? If it's a regular occurrence and you still love each other maybe you would be benefit seeing a therapist together? It's worth it if you genuinely are happy together most of the time at least give it a try and help identify the problems in your relationship. Otherwise, unfortunately it seems like this is as you describe a toxic relationship and perhaps better for both of you to end it, for your own sakes and each others.
Well I have ended it and blocked him. I’ve done this before and he’s made us resolve it but I don’t think there’s any going back. I’ve ‘broke up’ with him about 4 times during heated arguments in 8 months.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
Hey, I've read through the other replies in this thread and in my opinion (which of course you don't have to follow!) I think it would be best to go to him (either in person or via message) and apologise to him, and then say it's for the best if you have some time apart for real.

It's good that you recognise that this behaviour is toxic, that's one of the hardest things to do. But what you need to do next is work on it- working on your communication skills so that you don't have shouty/full-of-insults arguments, but instead are able to have calm discussions with your partner/others when something upsets you.

You also mention that your mental health isn't very good, and I'd really recommend seeking professional help for that. There's no shame in needing help, I promise. Unfortunately - and I do speak from experience here - having poor mental health can really affect how we perceive relationships, and how we act in them. I think it would be best for you, and any future romance- whether with him or not- for you to seek help (whether that be CBT, meds, or something else) and get yourself to a point where youre at least a little more happy in yourself, so therefore you can be a little more happy in the relationships you have.

I really do hope things work out for you!
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey, I've read through the other replies in this thread and in my opinion (which of course you don't have to follow!) I think it would be best to go to him (either in person or via message) and apologise to him, and then say it's for the best if you have some time apart for real.

It's good that you recognise that this behaviour is toxic, that's one of the hardest things to do. But what you need to do next is work on it- working on your communication skills so that you don't have shouty/full-of-insults arguments, but instead are able to have calm discussions with your partner/others when something upsets you.

You also mention that your mental health isn't very good, and I'd really recommend seeking professional help for that. There's no shame in needing help, I promise. Unfortunately - and I do speak from experience here - having poor mental health can really affect how we perceive relationships, and how we act in them. I think it would be best for you, and any future romance- whether with him or not- for you to seek help (whether that be CBT, meds, or something else) and get yourself to a point where youre at least a little more happy in yourself, so therefore you can be a little more happy in the relationships you have.

I really do hope things work out for you!
Hey I’ve blocked him off everywhere. This argument steamed on the fact that he spoke about my weight and made me feel really insecure. I think communication so important we struggle with it sometimes and after we acknowledge and try to better ourselves and our relationship. But him talking about my weight was such a bad thing snd I didn’t realise it after. His own friend said he doesn’t deserve me and it was completely unacceptable as a man. I feel stupid to contact him when I blocked him and when he disrespected me. I did insult him afterwards which I will hands down apologise for however I feel stupid to unblock him and message him my true feelings after I’ve now calmed down.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey, I've read through the other replies in this thread and in my opinion (which of course you don't have to follow!) I think it would be best to go to him (either in person or via message) and apologise to him, and then say it's for the best if you have some time apart for real.

It's good that you recognise that this behaviour is toxic, that's one of the hardest things to do. But what you need to do next is work on it- working on your communication skills so that you don't have shouty/full-of-insults arguments, but instead are able to have calm discussions with your partner/others when something upsets you.

You also mention that your mental health isn't very good, and I'd really recommend seeking professional help for that. There's no shame in needing help, I promise. Unfortunately - and I do speak from experience here - having poor mental health can really affect how we perceive relationships, and how we act in them. I think it would be best for you, and any future romance- whether with him or not- for you to seek help (whether that be CBT, meds, or something else) and get yourself to a point where youre at least a little more happy in yourself, so therefore you can be a little more happy in the relationships you have.

I really do hope things work out for you!
What do you mean real time apart and what will I be saying to him if I was to message him? I was thinking to just stay with my decision. For now if he reaches out he does but if he don’t it’s not meant to be. I don’t think he understands that the weight situation is what has made me leave not the petty argument back and forth after that situation passed is.
0
reply
ageshallnot
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 month ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
When me snd my bf get into heated arguments I tell him we’re done and this time I blocked him on every single platform. I’ve said this like 5times now. When I say it I kinda mean it. Like I don’t want a relationship with someone like how he’s acting or things that caused the heated argument. But I want him.
I know this is a toxic thing to do.

2 days ago we had a heated argument I said we’re done I don’t want him and blocked him on everywhere. I’m really sad and can’t sleep at night. He said last time I did this that I shouldn’t do it again but I did now because I was bottling so much up and got fed up. Things is before when he tries calls me etc snd talk it out I would go back but if he wasn’t to do this we would never speak again.

Any advice on this? ( please no Criticism my mental health already so ****ed, I don’t have no one to speak to or get advice from )
I find the most interesting part of your post to be at the end, when you say you don't want any criticism. To me that echoes your behaviour when you have an argument with your boyfriend. In both cases you feel that you can't face anything that goes against you and your only response is to try to block it out rather than deal with it rationally.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#14
Report 1 month ago
#14
Hi again, I was under the impression this had been a silly fight gone out of control, and for that I apologise, I shouldnt have assumed that. He shouldn't be making any sort of comments about your weight, that's extremely rude of him. Id say youre right to be angry with. If he tries to reach out- ask him to learn some manners and remind him it's never kind to comment on someone elses weight.

Id still recommend looking into getting help with your mental health, if youve had a partner that disrespects you that certainly won't have helped, and (again, from personal experience) things like CBT can really help you feel better and learn good coping mechanisms.

I also apologise for any weird wording in my last post and this one, I'm still waking up at the minute so my head's a little foggy.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi again, I was under the impression this had been a silly fight gone out of control, and for that I apologise, I shouldnt have assumed that. He shouldn't be making any sort of comments about your weight, that's extremely rude of him. Id say youre right to be angry with. If he tries to reach out- ask him to learn some manners and remind him it's never kind to comment on someone elses weight.

Id still recommend looking into getting help with your mental health, if youve had a partner that disrespects you that certainly won't have helped, and (again, from personal experience) things like CBT can really help you feel better and learn good coping mechanisms.

I also apologise for any weird wording in my last post and this one, I'm still waking up at the minute so my head's a little foggy.
Hey , I’ve unblocked him apologised for the things I said to him during me being angry. Then explained how I felt snd my feelings in a huge paragraph.
Do you think this was right?

You have been slot of help thank you. What is cbt
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#16
(Original post by ageshallnot)
I find the most interesting part of your post to be at the end, when you say you don't want any criticism. To me that echoes your behaviour when you have an argument with your boyfriend. In both cases you feel that you can't face anything that goes against you and your only response is to try to block it out rather than deal with it rationally.
I guess you may be right in some ways
0
reply
*****deadness
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#17
Report 1 month ago
#17
I think if you really like him you should try to manage your anger at the heat of the moment, try not to escalate the argument too much and certainly don't block him knowing you probably will unblock him again. While you two are nice and calm talk about things you normally argue over and work out a solution both are happy with.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#18
(Original post by *****deadness)
I think if you really like him you should try to manage your anger at the heat of the moment, try not to escalate the argument too much and certainly don't block him knowing you probably will unblock him again. While you two are nice and calm talk about things you normally argue over and work out a solution both are happy with.
100%
0
reply
ThomH97
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#19
Report 1 month ago
#19
You need to argue, to resolve differences. You can't agree on everything, and if it seems like you do then one of you isn't standing up for themselves.

That said, if you genuinely want to break things off with him each time, then perhaps you aren't compatible and should break up.

What sort of things do you argue about? From what you've said it suggests you blame him completely for them, which means either you want to change him as a person into something he's not, or again, the two of you simply aren't compatible.

As for your last line about being unable to take criticism due to your mental health, I think that is your biggest issue, and any relationship is already on the rocks if you are that fragile. You may want to get that sorted before entering a new relationship if you choose to end your current one.
(Original post by Anonymous)
When me snd my bf get into heated arguments I tell him we’re done and this time I blocked him on every single platform. I’ve said this like 5times now. When I say it I kinda mean it. Like I don’t want a relationship with someone like how he’s acting or things that caused the heated argument. But I want him.
I know this is a toxic thing to do.

2 days ago we had a heated argument I said we’re done I don’t want him and blocked him on everywhere. I’m really sad and can’t sleep at night. He said last time I did this that I shouldn’t do it again but I did now because I was bottling so much up and got fed up. Things is before when he tries calls me etc snd talk it out I would go back but if he wasn’t to do this we would never speak again.

Any advice on this? ( please no Criticism my mental health already so ****ed, I don’t have no one to speak to or get advice from )
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#20
(Original post by ThomH97)
You need to argue, to resolve differences. You can't agree on everything, and if it seems like you do then one of you isn't standing up for themselves.

That said, if you genuinely want to break things off with him each time, then perhaps you aren't compatible and should break up.

What sort of things do you argue about? From what you've said it suggests you blame him completely for them, which means either you want to change him as a person into something he's not, or again, the two of you simply aren't compatible.

As for your last line about being unable to take criticism due to your mental health, I think that is your biggest issue, and any relationship is already on the rocks if you are that fragile. You may want to get that sorted before entering a new relationship if you choose to end your current one.
It’s not each time but when I get super overwhelmed I want to break things off.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Which of these would you use to help with making uni decisions?

Webinars (47)
13.74%
Virtual campus tours/open days (75)
21.93%
Live streaming events (32)
9.36%
Online AMAs/guest lectures (36)
10.53%
A uni comparison tool (79)
23.1%
An in-person event when available (73)
21.35%

Watched Threads

View All