Honest advice on if I should stay in my relationship
We have been together 3 years, both 21! At the start I was smitten, and was so happy that we were together. However, as time has gone on I’ve began feeling different. Don’t get me wrong, when we are together we can have a good time ( we only see each other once per week ) but when I’m at home I’m always thinking about weather he’s what I want. Thinking about other people ( I know it’s bad !!! I cannot help it)
He wants to get an house with me ect and really sees a future and I feel so guilty because I no longer feel the same way. I’ve tried speaking to him about it and he says that there has to be a reason for how I feel and keeps asking why but I genuinely don’t have a reason fkr feeling how I feel. I just don’t feel into it no more.
I guess I’m not attracted to him physically no more and I don’t know what to do. I do love him but I don’t know if I’m IN love with him. It would hurt to see him with someone else - even the thought makes me feel sick. I’m just so confused by how I’m feeling and I’ve felt like this for months now.
My freind said to me a while ago ‘ could you see yourself marrying him’ I straight away said no - and she replied ‘well why are you with him then? ‘ this spoke volumes.
I don’t know if this is normal to feel like this after being together so long or weather I should just cut it. Like I said it would hurt me so much ending it and I don’t want to be that girl that ends the relationship, regrets it and then tires to come back.
HONEST advice please
He wants to get an house with me ect and really sees a future and I feel so guilty because I no longer feel the same way. I’ve tried speaking to him about it and he says that there has to be a reason for how I feel and keeps asking why but I genuinely don’t have a reason fkr feeling how I feel. I just don’t feel into it no more.
I guess I’m not attracted to him physically no more and I don’t know what to do. I do love him but I don’t know if I’m IN love with him. It would hurt to see him with someone else - even the thought makes me feel sick. I’m just so confused by how I’m feeling and I’ve felt like this for months now.
My freind said to me a while ago ‘ could you see yourself marrying him’ I straight away said no - and she replied ‘well why are you with him then? ‘ this spoke volumes.
I don’t know if this is normal to feel like this after being together so long or weather I should just cut it. Like I said it would hurt me so much ending it and I don’t want to be that girl that ends the relationship, regrets it and then tires to come back.
HONEST advice please
It does happen on people who’ve been together for so long, we do fall in, out, in or out again when we’re in a relationship but it would depend on you and your partner on how you gonna handle it.
You both can try to work it out by seeing more often, giving more time to each other, pleasing more each other. You could try to think and list the things you liked about him before or look back to the beginning of your relationship.
If it didn’t work out or you didn’t want to work it out then leaving him would be the least thing you can do for him.
You both can try to work it out by seeing more often, giving more time to each other, pleasing more each other. You could try to think and list the things you liked about him before or look back to the beginning of your relationship.
If it didn’t work out or you didn’t want to work it out then leaving him would be the least thing you can do for him.
it seems obvious that you already have a decision to break up. just do it, you are young and will find your happiness. you don't have to stay in a relationship if you are not attracted to your partner and you are thinking of other people.
Sometimes it happens, sometimes there isn't a reason. If you have doubts about your love for him though I would consider breaking up, I know it feels awful breaking up with someone but imagine going through everything with him if you don't want to, you both could be having better things instead.
You falling out of love with him after the honeymoon period has expired is common.
You carrying on your relationship with him is you displaying the entirely human trait of the Sunken Cost Fallacy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_cost
Listen to your friend. Listen to your instincts. Dump him and get yourself a new boyfriend. There's no guarantee that the next boyfriend will be worth marrying. You may have rinse and repeat the cycle a few times.
You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. You can't make a beautiful adult life for yourself without going through the short term hurt of a break-up.
If it helps, look at it from your boyfriend's point of view. How bad would it be for him to settle down and buy a house with you? How poor to mediocre would it be for him to live with someone that didn't love him back, or that only had a rather luke warm love for him.
Set him free so he can find his destiny.
You carrying on your relationship with him is you displaying the entirely human trait of the Sunken Cost Fallacy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_cost
Listen to your friend. Listen to your instincts. Dump him and get yourself a new boyfriend. There's no guarantee that the next boyfriend will be worth marrying. You may have rinse and repeat the cycle a few times.
You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. You can't make a beautiful adult life for yourself without going through the short term hurt of a break-up.
If it helps, look at it from your boyfriend's point of view. How bad would it be for him to settle down and buy a house with you? How poor to mediocre would it be for him to live with someone that didn't love him back, or that only had a rather luke warm love for him.
Set him free so he can find his destiny.
Original post by Anonymous
We have been together 3 years, both 21! At the start I was smitten, and was so happy that we were together. However, as time has gone on I’ve began feeling different. Don’t get me wrong, when we are together we can have a good time ( we only see each other once per week ) but when I’m at home I’m always thinking about weather he’s what I want. Thinking about other people ( I know it’s bad !!! I cannot help it)
He wants to get an house with me ect and really sees a future and I feel so guilty because I no longer feel the same way. I’ve tried speaking to him about it and he says that there has to be a reason for how I feel and keeps asking why but I genuinely don’t have a reason fkr feeling how I feel. I just don’t feel into it no more.
I guess I’m not attracted to him physically no more and I don’t know what to do. I do love him but I don’t know if I’m IN love with him. It would hurt to see him with someone else - even the thought makes me feel sick. I’m just so confused by how I’m feeling and I’ve felt like this for months now.
My freind said to me a while ago ‘ could you see yourself marrying him’ I straight away said no - and she replied ‘well why are you with him then? ‘ this spoke volumes.
I don’t know if this is normal to feel like this after being together so long or weather I should just cut it. Like I said it would hurt me so much ending it and I don’t want to be that girl that ends the relationship, regrets it and then tires to come back.
HONEST advice please
He wants to get an house with me ect and really sees a future and I feel so guilty because I no longer feel the same way. I’ve tried speaking to him about it and he says that there has to be a reason for how I feel and keeps asking why but I genuinely don’t have a reason fkr feeling how I feel. I just don’t feel into it no more.
I guess I’m not attracted to him physically no more and I don’t know what to do. I do love him but I don’t know if I’m IN love with him. It would hurt to see him with someone else - even the thought makes me feel sick. I’m just so confused by how I’m feeling and I’ve felt like this for months now.
My freind said to me a while ago ‘ could you see yourself marrying him’ I straight away said no - and she replied ‘well why are you with him then? ‘ this spoke volumes.
I don’t know if this is normal to feel like this after being together so long or weather I should just cut it. Like I said it would hurt me so much ending it and I don’t want to be that girl that ends the relationship, regrets it and then tires to come back.
HONEST advice please
your friend knows what they are talking about. if marriage is a goal when you're in a relationship you want to be in then if you instantly answer you dont want to be with him, you need to leave him. he may be be safe and reliable but it will hurt you both so much in the long run.
cut it off. so I as kind and respectfully as possible. be there for him in the moment as you're telling him and the main part. you have to do it in person. answer his questions. you may have fallen out of love with him but it sounds like hes still smitten for you.
Relationships go through ups and downs for sure, however if you know that you don't see yourself with him in the future, then you're kind of wasting yours and his time! Its hard to hurt someone you love, but you'll feel so much better in the long term - plus you can find out what you really want in a relationship! When you find the right person you won't even have to think about whether you're attracted to them, it'll just be natural. I hope it works out for you!
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