The Student Room Group

Can a Boy and a Girl be "just friends"?

I'm not sure whether my friend likes me. We're really close now, we've known each other for around 2 years. We have virtually everything in common with each other, from music taste to hobbies to even things like food! We have been close, but in the past few weeks since college has started again we've got even closer. We've been out to town after college several times which is now making a few people suspicious, I'm not quite sure why. Some people have thought that he could like me. I'm not sure though. He's given me a nickname based loosely around the female singer in one of his favourite bands. When we went out for a coffee the first time, he bought me the coffee, but I bought him the coffee second time round. Apparently we walk really closely to each other, and generally give off the vibe of being a couple. Several people have asked, or are at least getting suspicious! Apparently he's always been really fond of me as a person, and one of his best friends has asked one of my best friends if I like him several times. When I suggested the fact that I would have a photo wall in my room, he suggested that I put a large photo up of him on my wall and a note that he's written me under my pillow. I can never tell whether we're in the just friends zone, or maybe something more? The last time someone asked if we were a couple, we both said "no, we're just good friends". We talk about everything apart from who we like, and matters of the heart I suppose!

Is it possible for us to be good friends, or is there something more deep down somewhere?

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Reply 1
I'm firmly in the 'if a boy and girl are friends, at least one of them has some sexual feelings towards the other person camp'.

How outgoing and confident is the guy? he could really really like you but not be able to find the words, or how to move on from where you are at at the moment.
They can be friends. I have loads of friends who are girls and althought they're all genuinely very attractive I wouldn't dream of being anything more than friends with them.
Reply 3
Well that's the thing, he gives off the impression of being quite confident but deep down he's quite shy! I think anyway...
I mean, I can't say I haven't considered liking him in that way, but I never thought they were reciprocated feelings so I settled for being friends :frown: Now it's at the point where he's a very good friend of mine, but that's not to say that if he told me he liked me, I would say no!
Only if the girl isn't that hot
Reply 5
Ricc05
I'm firmly in the 'if a boy and girl are friends, at least one of them has some sexual feelings towards the other person camp'.

How outgoing and confident is the guy? he could really really like you but not be able to find the words, or how to move on from where you are at at the moment.


i agree, entirely from personal experience.

it sounds to me like he has something for you...but it's up to you whether you do anything about it. obviously if you say something it could potentially lead to awkwardness. do you like him, at all, in that way?
Reply 6
Of course they can. Most of my friends are girls, and a lot of them, I dunno, you just stop thinking of them as girls in a sexual sense.

It's like saying if a brother and sister were really good friends, in the majority of cases, they'd be repulsed by the idea of being more than that.

Not always that way, it will happen sometimes that one will want more, but it's not impossible.

If you do decide he could like you, do not do anything unless you're positive that you do like him in that way too. When a girl gets confused between close friendship and wanting to be more, it doesn't last, you will realise it was just friendship further down, and when you finally have to break it to him that you only care for him as a friend, it'll be awful for him.

Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything there :shifty:
Reply 7
Well. In that case it might depend on your own feelings, rather than his.

If you are happy to just be friends with the guy and push any further feelings out of your mind then fair enough, or is it worth taking that bit of a risk with the chance of the ultimate reward?

FWIW, it sounds like he could very well have similar feelings, judging by personal experience, and what I know about blokes. but don't quote me on that if you decide to take a chance!
Goldman Jacks
I dont understand why a boy would want to be "just friends" with a girl unless hes gay


Girls are people too...
Reply 9
Goldman Jacks
I dont understand why a boy would want to be "just friends" with a girl unless hes gay


or he's straight but doesn't find her at all sexually attractive
Reply 10
Goldman Jacks
I dont understand why a boy would want to be "just friends" with a girl unless hes gay

because maybe they're not attracted to eachother in *that* way but have similar interests. That's just like saying I can't understand how two girls can be just friends really!
Ricc05
I'm firmly in the 'if a boy and girl are friends, at least one of them has some sexual feelings towards the other person camp'.

Maybe in the world of young/horny/immature teenagers but plenty of adult can have platonic relationships with members of the opposite sex. I have a lot of male friends, some married some not and the thought of anyone having any feelings other than friendship is laughable.
Reply 12
but I'm not an immature teenager. Only commenting from personal experience. I am still young though I suppose.
Reply 13
Of course it's possible for a guy and a girl to be close friends without being "romantically" involved.
one of my best mates is a girl and i think shes fit. but i dont fancy her. so the two dnt have to go together
Anonymous
I'm not sure whether my friend likes me. We're really close now, we've known each other for around 2 years. We have virtually everything in common with each other, from music taste to hobbies to even things like food! We have been close, but in the past few weeks since college has started again we've got even closer. We've been out to town after college several times which is now making a few people suspicious, I'm not quite sure why. Some people have thought that he could like me. I'm not sure though. He's given me a nickname based loosely around the female singer in one of his favourite bands. When we went out for a coffee the first time, he bought me the coffee, but I bought him the coffee second time round. Apparently we walk really closely to each other, and generally give off the vibe of being a couple. Several people have asked, or are at least getting suspicious! Apparently he's always been really fond of me as a person, and one of his best friends has asked one of my best friends if I like him several times. When I suggested the fact that I would have a photo wall in my room, he suggested that I put a large photo up of him on my wall and a note that he's written me under my pillow. I can never tell whether we're in the just friends zone, or maybe something more? The last time someone asked if we were a couple, we both said "no, we're just good friends". We talk about everything apart from who we like, and matters of the heart I suppose!

Is it possible for us to be good friends, or is there something more deep down somewhere?


wtf; he definitely likes you.
I think it depends if there's a physical attraction there. If you're best mates with a guy, but he's not necessarily your type, then it's possible just 'friendship'.

BUT if one of you found the other physically attractive, then it can be confusing.

I've got guy friends who I'd never consider going out with, because I don't find them attractive, but then I've got a couple of guy mates who I'd quite happily be in a relationship with because they're gorgeous AND friends with me, so they must actually like me to be friends with me... if you get my drift.

So I dunno, if there's a possible physical attraction, then it's more likely that one of you will have feelings for the other (if not both of you).
I agree with Blackhawk - it is definitely possible for mature people to have friends of the opposite gender. In fact, I'm not even sure you need to be mature; my best friend from age 8 upwards is male and there's never been anything else there whatsoever.
Reply 18
well I have a lot of male friends who I get on with well but I have to say the lines between friendship and more get blurred sometimes and I would probs have sex with all of them if it came up.
is that a really bad thing to admit lol
hahahah