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Should I change my name?

Hi everyone.

My surname is my dad's first name, and he and I have a terrible relationship. He's one of those manipulative narcissists. Once I legally can without parental consent, I'm thinking of changing my surname to my mother's maiden name.
Would I be making a drastic mistake?
Any advice would be welcome.
Thanks :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone.

My surname is my dad's first name, and he and I have a terrible relationship. He's one of those manipulative narcissists. Once I legally can without parental consent, I'm thinking of changing my surname to my mother's maiden name.
Would I be making a drastic mistake?
Any advice would be welcome.
Thanks :smile:


It's up to you bud...
well its up to you really but maybe chat with your mum about it?
also if you dont mind me asking, why is your last name your dads first name? usually its the dads last name thats your last name if ygm
Could be an Asian culture thing. Honestly, go for it. I commend you for being brave enough for doing such a huge change in your life. Good luck!
Reply 4
Original post by BluMoon06
well its up to you really but maybe chat with your mum about it?
also if you dont mind me asking, why is your last name your dads first name? usually its the dads last name thats your last name if ygm

Thanks for the response. I've spoken to her, she says it's up to me, but she really wants to try and keep the peace in our family, you know? I've been asking that same question for YEARS. I have no clue what it's about tbh, his side of the family is as weird as he is lol
Reply 5
Original post by Nephertum
Could be an Asian culture thing. Honestly, go for it. I commend you for being brave enough for doing such a huge change in your life. Good luck!

Thank you, I appreciate it :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone.

My surname is my dad's first name, and he and I have a terrible relationship. He's one of those manipulative narcissists. Once I legally can without parental consent, I'm thinking of changing my surname to my mother's maiden name.
Would I be making a drastic mistake?
Any advice would be welcome.
Thanks :smile:

Hey man,
Im in a similar boat. Im not the biggest fan of my father and I have his first name as my surname. There is no real mistake with cahnging your name in my opinion but you clearly seem to value the meaning and significance behind your name judging by how you want to change it because of your father. What happens when you and your mother fight? Not to quote Shakespeare but “What's in a name? that which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet.” You will still be the same person but by changing your name i guess you could stick it to your father but it might just make your situation worse. If your father's name is your surname then im guessing you are tamil? Correct me if I am wrong. It may not be like this in your family but a change of surname could bring 'dishonour' to the family and not just anger your dad but your mum too. I would say make sure you are absolutely sure and maybe consult the side of the family you like before doing anything ! good luck :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the response. I've spoken to her, she says it's up to me, but she really wants to try and keep the peace in our family, you know? I've been asking that same question for YEARS. I have no clue what it's about tbh, his side of the family is as weird as he is lol

no problem :smile: yh i get it haha well i guess its up to you. if youre truly sure about it tho. obviously its not going to go down well for everyone but what can you do lol :h:
Reply 8
Original post by sankavi10101
Hey man,
Im in a similar boat. Im not the biggest fan of my father and I have his first name as my surname. There is no real mistake with cahnging your name in my opinion but you clearly seem to value the meaning and significance behind your name judging by how you want to change it because of your father. What happens when you and your mother fight? Not to quote Shakespeare but “What's in a name? that which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet.” You will still be the same person but by changing your name i guess you could stick it to your father but it might just make your situation worse. If your father's name is your surname then im guessing you are tamil? Correct me if I am wrong. It may not be like this in your family but a change of surname could bring 'dishonour' to the family and not just anger your dad but your mum too. I would say make sure you are absolutely sure and maybe consult the side of the family you like before doing anything ! good luck :smile:

Hey! I'm sorry you're going through that too. My mother and I are extremely close, and she never blows her top just because of a silly little thing. No, I'm not Tamil, but I am Indian. We don't view things like that in my family, thank God. Thank you!
Reply 9
Original post by BluMoon06
no problem :smile: yh i get it haha well i guess its up to you. if youre truly sure about it tho. obviously its not going to go down well for everyone but what can you do lol :h:

Lol, yep!

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