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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
Hi guys before I get into this I'd just like to say it's a constant battle I have with my self and I am looking for some honest (hurtful if needs be) truths and opinions

I'm 18 and he is 15 turning 16 in a couple months, we met online by gaming and we have been texting and calling daily for the last 3 months, my parents do not know and I'm worried about what they will think.

We don't live near each other but I am moving in September for university and the uni is near where he is. (this wasn't done on purpose) we have planned to meet each other when I move in a public cafe.
I'm not going to be telling my parents that I am meeting him as I know they will panic and tell me not to do it although I think it's because they are old fashioned and don't understand online relationships much.

We have decided to wait until he is 17 to be in a relationship and so we would spend another year getting to know each other etc.

He is also Muslim and I am Christian but I think we have worked out all the things we need to conserning our religions although the fact his parents believe that "white people are the work of the devil and should never be trusted" their words not his and that they will dissaprove.

I hope this made sense, it probably didn't and for that I apologise basically I'm looking for advice on how to break the news to my parents in the end and what people thought about the situation.

Many thanks
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ADarling
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do what makes you happy
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neville420
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Parental approval is quite a strange concept, it's your life so you should live it how you want and no one else should influence that. Go with the flow, see what happens with him and if you do really like each other make it official. If your parents and family don't approve then that's their problem and they'd be terrible for not being supportive.
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ashtolga23
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The age difference is slightly concerning just because you’re at very different stages of life, and one of you is currently a minor. I know you’ve agreed to wait for a relationship but I have to say I’m doubtful of how often this works out.

I also have to say that if the sexes were switched, people might see this as a little unsettling. Some people say women mature faster than men, but if that’s the case it’s probably worse actually.

Having had feelings for someone who was 16, when I was only 13, I just know it can end in tears. It probably makes me biased so take what I’m saying with caution.
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bhaddiee
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(Original post by ashtolga23)
The age difference is slightly concerning just because you’re at very different stages of life, and one of you is currently a minor. I know you’ve agreed to wait for a relationship but I have to say I’m doubtful of how often this works out.

I also have to say that if the sexes were switched, people might see this as a little unsettling. Some people say women mature faster than men, but if that’s the case it’s probably worse actually.

Having had feelings for someone who was 16, when I was only 13, I just know it can end in tears. It probably makes me biased so take what I’m saying with caution.
Right, I know it's not a huge age gap but him and OP are in completely different stages, I remember when I was only 15 and fell for an 18 year old and It was stressful and exhausting.
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bhaddiee
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(Original post by neville420)
Parental approval is quite a strange concept, it's your life so you should live it how you want and no one else should influence that. Go with the flow, see what happens with him and if you do really like each other make it official. If your parents and family don't approve then that's their problem and they'd be terrible for not being supportive.
Agreed. However, he is still a minor so therefore they do kinda have control over the relationship especially as the OP is 18.
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ashtolga23
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(Original post by bhaddiee)
Right, I know it's not a huge age gap but him and OP are in completely different stages, I remember when I was only 15 and fell for an 18 year old and It was stressful and exhausting.
Yeah exactly. The maturity difference is key to the whole thing really. OP said they'll be going to uni, so that does concern me. I think when you're 15, your partner should be no more than one school year above or below really.
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