did my boyfriend rape me?Watch
i had been with my first boyfriend for four months, and already there had been signs of toxic behaviour (i.e telling me that my vagina was loose even though i had never had sex before) and i believed that it had all been mistakes seeing as it was his first proper relationship. One night we were out with two of our friends we were trying to get together, we felt it necessary to give them some sort of space and so we went off for a while (at this time he had jus smoked and so was quite high now). we began engaging in some form of foreplay, he had asked me if i wanted to have sex, i had said no. we continued, he'd ask again and again until i gave in. I agreed to have sex under the condition that it would be done with a condom and so when he went in raw i had asked him to stop, he didnt listen. i asked him to stop two more times, but he continued. a few days later he had asked me if he had been forceful, the memory of that night still played in my mind again and again. when i had told him that he had, he began to become stressed starting to hyperventilate. i was riddled with guilt. i still loved him and i still don't know if i had over reacted.
You might love him, but think about what he might do in the future, to your or someone else, if he just gets away with this.
I don't know how to advise you but how you choose to go forward with this is up to you and only up to you. Do not let him or anyone else influence your decisions or course of action.
I think you should remove yourself from toxic or harmful relationships. Yes, he may look “cool” or be “popular”, but sooner or later he may hurt you. Remain safe.
Take care - history of both rape and drug use is a dangerous combination.