Christian: Losing virginity before marriage

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Anonymous #1
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I’ve grown up a Christian my whole life but I never understood the whole “waiting for marriage concept” I have a bf and I’ve done sexual things with him. Obviously I felt some regret due to my belief but I just want to know how many Christians didn’t wait? I don’t think I will wait but I just feel I need to have this permission or that it’s fine not to from another Christian haha. Thank you!
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Anonymous #2
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i'm technically a roman catholic (though i don't go to church or follow the bible - i just believe in god and was raised that way) and tbh i think it's all about personal preference. if you want to wait until marriage because of your religion or because you just want to then there's nothing wrong with that, if you don't want to then it's still fine. you shouldn't feel pressured by the church into anything & live how you want to. there's nothing shameful about having sex before marriage and don't let people tell you otherwise.
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parmezanne
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I also am a Christian who doesn't follow the Bible but believes in God. I also think it's about personal preference - the concept of 'virginity' is honestly a social construct. not being a virgin doesn't make you any less of a person and it doesn't take anything away from your relationship with God in my eyes. :yep:

Why don't you pray and ask for His advice? Us tsr-ians are only equals to you and human too! :jebus:
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Medcalf
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As a Christian, I think it really depends what denomination you are under. Some like Roman Catholics are much stricter than others like the Church of England for example. It is your choice when you choose to do it but because society has changed, so have the expectations for Christians. Many denominations understand the changes in society and will allow sex before marriage. Just do what you think is right. A good idea may be to do it if you want but use a condom or some form of contraception whilst you fo it before marriage; this concept is known as being a condom virgin. I hope this helps.
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Final Fantasy
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In times like this you just gotta ask yourself "what would Jesus do?". And if you think about it, our man Jesus was a pretty chill guy tbh and he'd be all like yeah no worries mate that's fine you do you. So you should be okay I reckon. I mean the dude did turn water into wine and he befriended a prostitute, so I doubt he cares much about sex before marriage as long it's a committed relationship between two consenting adults.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i'm technically a roman catholic (though i don't go to church or follow the bible - i just believe in god and was raised that way) and tbh i think it's all about personal preference. if you want to wait until marriage because of your religion or because you just want to then there's nothing wrong with that, if you don't want to then it's still fine. you shouldn't feel pressured by the church into anything & live how you want to. there's nothing shameful about having sex before marriage and don't let people tell you otherwise.
Thank you so much these are so helpful! Exactly I don’t want to feel pressured I just want to not be shamed for it so thank you
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by parmezanne)
I also am a Christian who doesn't follow the Bible but believes in God. I also think it's about personal preference - the concept of 'virginity' is honestly a social construct. not being a virgin doesn't make you any less of a person and it doesn't take anything away from your relationship with God in my eyes. :yep:

Why don't you pray and ask for His advice? Us tsr-ians are only equals to you and human too! :jebus:
Literally same, I feel more like I have the faith but not follow the religion? If that makes sense
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Medcalf)
As a Christian, I think it really depends what denomination you are under. Some like Roman Catholics are much stricter than others like the Church of England for example. It is your choice when you choose to do it but because society has changed, so have the expectations for Christians. Many denominations understand the changes in society and will allow sex before marriage. Just do what you think is right. A good idea may be to do it if you want but use a condom or some form of contraception whilst you fo it before marriage; this concept is known as being a condom virgin. I hope this helps.
Thank you, this is so helpful! I am a non denominational christian which tbh is one of the more “chill” Christians in terms of rules etc.
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2500_2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve grown up a Christian my whole life but I never understood the whole “waiting for marriage concept” I have a bf and I’ve done sexual things with him. Obviously I felt some regret due to my belief but I just want to know how many Christians didn’t wait? I don’t think I will wait but I just feel I need to have this permission or that it’s fine not to from another Christian haha. Thank you!
There are definitely bible passages that discourage massive sleeping around, but if you look at the ones people say mean 'no sex before marriage', you have to interpret them extremely strictly to actually get that message. There are plenty of other bits of the bible no one really cares if you follow or not (not eating shellfish! clothes with mixed fabrics!), so there's a longstanding Christian tradition of pick and choose even if you are a strict bible-believer-and-follower.
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parmezanne
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Literally same, I feel more like I have the faith but not follow the religion? If that makes sense
absolutely! very common feeling :yep:
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ROTL94
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From this thread it is readily apparent why Christianity is dying, not even those who profess to be Christian follow the doctrines and openly admit not doing so.
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TheYearNiner
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(Original post by ROTL94)
From this thread it is readily apparent why Christianity is dying, not even those who profess to be Christian follow the doctrines and openly admit not doing so.
You must remember, TSR is not the majority.
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LovelyMrFox
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It depends on which denomination of Christianity you follow. Episcopal Protestants for example have much different views on the mater than Orthodox Catholics.
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Trinculo
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
It depends on which denomination of Christianity you follow. Episcopal Protestants for example have much different views on the mater than Orthodox Catholics.
I see what you did there.
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GCSE_Rockstar32
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Hi
I would suggest that instead of asking from approval on the internet, seek approval from God. Talk to God openly and pour out your worries, and talk to him about it. Remember, that you have a personal relationship with God through Jesus. But you also should remember, that as Christians we should try to resist our sexual desires and acts.
Good Luck
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sonal7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve grown up a Christian my whole life but I never understood the whole “waiting for marriage concept” I have a bf and I’ve done sexual things with him. Obviously I felt some regret due to my belief but I just want to know how many Christians didn’t wait? I don’t think I will wait but I just feel I need to have this permission or that it’s fine not to from another Christian haha. Thank you!
Hi have you sorted out contraception? This is imperative. You need to ideally have an STI screen for both you and your partner. If a good check to see if hes decent. If hes a nice guy he wont mind you delaying things until you have your health sorted out, and his! The other thing is you need to be sure about the difference between sex and love. Sorry -I dont mean to be condescending in anyway but he wont love you more because of the physical things. This is my view. Men view sex as sex and can easily walk away when its done. You need to know that love is a different concept which is a bit different for men. Its okay in my opinion to have a monogamous relationship. Sounds like you are in a stable place. Do know what you want? Talk about sex with someone older. Dont talk any risks with health. If you love each other then might not be a problem. If you are having doubts about him or sex then delay it. My opinion is that people from Christian backgrounds can really suffer as they dont have parents to discuss these with. Glad you are talking to us.
Last edited by sonal7; 4 weeks ago
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sonal7
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can someone ask her be safe and delay things as she seems unsure.
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bbbluck
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(Original post by sonal7)
can someone ask her be safe and delay things as she seems unsure.
HAH didn’t expect this thread to get like this but it is really helpful ngl. I am going to be safe and I am waiting till I feel 100 percent ready. Just was asking views on it being before marriage
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londonmyst
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I'm a lazy catholic and don't support sexual abstinence until marriage.
My mother came from an ultra-traditionalist catholic family that rejected the vatican ii reforms, she & maternal grandmother support the abstinence movement.
Along with a total ban on abortion and divorce under any & all circumstances.
Almost all my fundamentalist christian friends have virtually identical views, although their churches are mostly non-denominational they tend to be closely aligned with protestant theology.
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DrawTheLine
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Closed temporarily for clean up
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