Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Im in a dilemma. been with my american bf for a year now. he's been physically with me for a few months already and its taking a toll on his mental health cos 1 - he needs to go back home to find a job 2- he's not feeling ok staying at my sisters & i flat after staying here for so long and the bad memories left here. The sponsorship thing to find a job here was too much for him i feel like, not easy and hard for him to be without a job obv.

I need to find a job myself in uk as well as get some financial help as im currently unemployed. If i leave for the US which i cant right now unless i travel to another country which i find irresponsible and unnecessary. I dont want him to feel bad and think i won't sacrifice as much as he did for the relationship, but i dont want to jeopardise my chances here, I want to be financially stable first, both of us then meet again when we can but he's scared to go back alone to his parents ( they have a big house and a nice life there). I dont know what to do !
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Katie20022.0
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Sounds complicated I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to do the long distance thing especially when you cut even plan/ look forward to a specific date when you can see each other again. Im sure you have already but if not maybe sit down and have a proper convo about it. Communication is key to relationships.Explain that you want to be financially stable first, its mature and probably the best card to play more so with the uncertainty of the world we live in now. Who knows what financial trouble we will have soon because of COVID. Im sure he will understand. On the flip side you could move to the US with him although that is very complicated to so drawing up a pro and con list would be good.

Hope it all works out! x
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Pixelrainbow..
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If you went to America you wouldn’t be able to get a job as you wouldn’t have the right visa. Just tell him that you can’t go as you need a job, and it would be best for you to earn some money, get a stable income and then you can start looking at work visas for the USA. I think it wouldn’t work if you went back with him, especially as then you’re sacrificing everything for him!
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