A problem with phimosis, need advice

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JoeNat77
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#1
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Hi.
Well, this is what happens
I'm 19, and I discovered just a few weeks ago that I have phimosis, due to religious reasons I haven't had sex yet, so I wouldn't have discover it that way.
I know I need to go to the doctor, the problem is, how the hell do I tell my dad about it????!!!!
I live in a small town, so to treat that I should go to my state's biggest city, which means I would have to transport there, which means I should first ask him to take me there/ask him to let me go in his car, then he will ask “why?” and I'll have to tell him everything.
I'm still in my dad's health insurance plan (I can be there until 21).
The problem is, I don't want to tell him about it. It's not like my relation with him is bad, just that we have never talked about such things, we've spoken about anything, except personal stuff. The conversation would be really uncomfortable. But I need to see a doctor and take a treatment, because the VERY LAST thing I want, is to get a circumcision.
So should I tell him, or should I wait some years until I'm on my own health insurance?
Last edited by JoeNat77; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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You could tell your dad you need to see a doctor because it is important but it is a matter you'd rather not discuss with him as its a bit too personal but stress that it isn't anything to be worried about?I wouldn't wait for years to sort it.
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Napp
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Might be easier talking to your mum on the matter?
As to explaining to your dad, you could probably simply leave it at "womens issues" and see if he'll leave it at that, many men not overly wanting to know the specifics of their daughters sexual health.
Failing that, have a drink first.. stiffen the nerves as it were :lol:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Napp)
Might be easier talking to your mum on the matter?
As to explaining to your dad, you could probably simply leave it at "womens issues" and see if he'll leave it at that, many men not overly wanting to know the specifics of their daughters sexual health.
Failing that, have a drink first.. stiffen the nerves as it were :lol:
Phimoses is to do with mens sexual health not womens.
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MedicWil
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(Original post by JoeNat77)
Hi.
Well, this is what happens
I'm 19, and I discovered just a few weeks ago that I have phimosis, due to religious reasons I haven't had sex yet, so I wouldn't have discover it that way.
I know I need to go to the doctor, the problem is, how the hell do I tell my dad about it????!!!!
I live in a small town, so to treat that I should go to my state's biggest city, which means I would have to transport there, which means I should first ask him to take me there/ask him to let me go in his car, then he will ask “why?” and I'll have to tell him everything.
I'm still in my dad's health insurance plan (I can be there until 21).
The problem is, I don't want to tell him about it. It's not like my relation with him is bad, just that we have never talked about such things, we've spoken about anything, except personal stuff. The conversation would be really uncomfortable. But I need to see a doctor and take a treatment, because the VERY LAST thing I want, is to get a circumcision.
So should I tell him, or should I wait some years until I'm on my own health insurance?
What I don’t understand is how you haven’t discovered this up to now? It points to poor personal hygiene given you’re meant to wash underneath your foreskin to remove smegma and oil build up etc and you clearly haven’t been

Anyway, it’s best to just talk to him about it now and get it over with rather than letting it drag on. Also, because it’s been left so long, it’s most likely that you will have to have a circumcision. There are other treatment options such as steroidal creams in combination with pulling your foreskin back on a regular basis, but unless it’s a very mild case, it won’t be that effective and if it is, it will take a long time before the issue is resolved
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Napp
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Phimoses is to do with mens sexual health not womens.
Whoops, my bad for skim reading there. However, the general points stand.
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KSM87
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You need to see a doctor. There are alternatives to circumcision, so it is not inevitable. I’m circumcised; personally I don’t find it a problem at all and my girlfriend prefers it.
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JoeNat77
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(Original post by MedicWil)
What I don’t understand is how you haven’t discovered this up to now? It points to poor personal hygiene given you’re meant to wash underneath your foreskin to remove smegma and oil build up etc and you clearly haven’t been

Anyway, it’s best to just talk to him about it now and get it over with rather than letting it drag on. Also, because it’s been left so long, it’s most likely that you will have to have a circumcision. There are other treatment options such as steroidal creams in combination with pulling your foreskin back on a regular basis, but unless it’s a very mild case, it won’t be that effective and if it is, it will take a long time before the issue is resolved
I didn't know because no one never ever told me I'm supposed to pull back my foreskin, not in school, not in my family, etc
That doesn't mean I don't try to clean myself, even when I didn't even know phimosis was a thing, I was sticking my finger inside my foreskin to clean it as much as possible
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Kerzen
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(Original post by JoeNat77)
Hi.
Well, this is what happens
I'm 19, and I discovered just a few weeks ago that I have phimosis, due to religious reasons I haven't had sex yet, so I wouldn't have discover it that way.
I know I need to go to the doctor, the problem is, how the hell do I tell my dad about it????!!!!
I live in a small town, so to treat that I should go to my state's biggest city, which means I would have to transport there, which means I should first ask him to take me there/ask him to let me go in his car, then he will ask “why?” and I'll have to tell him everything.
I'm still in my dad's health insurance plan (I can be there until 21).
The problem is, I don't want to tell him about it. It's not like my relation with him is bad, just that we have never talked about such things, we've spoken about anything, except personal stuff. The conversation would be really uncomfortable. But I need to see a doctor and take a treatment, because the VERY LAST thing I want, is to get a circumcision.
So should I tell him, or should I wait some years until I'm on my own health insurance?
I think that you should take a deep breath and talk to him, man to man. Most men are sympathetic to each other when it comes to problems in this area and I think that he will be too - he may have had this himself or had a friend who did.

I think that you have to acknowledge that while you are still your father's child, you are not actually a child per se any more; you're an adult, a man. There's a moment in every father/son relationship where the relationship changes slightly but in a positive way, in most cases, when both men recognise and acknowledge this point.

I'm assuming that you live with your parents/Dad, so choose a time when it feels easier to talk about it, perhaps when it's just you two sitting down drinking coffee.

Something along the lines of 'Oh, I meant to ask you, I need to go into (city) at some point in the next few months and I wondered whether you could come with me; I have phimosis, you know, when you can't retract your foreskin and I need to see someone about it to avoid any problems in the future. Hopefully, it'll be covered by our health insurance. Can you come into (city) with me?'

You can do it.
Last edited by Kerzen; 1 month ago
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