Girls - if you're at a party or a bar/club...

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Anonymous #1
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I am not talking about on the street or like the gym. But a social setting where this kind of thing is to be expected.

But if you're in such an environment, is it a turn off if a guy comes up to you and tells you you're pretty, compliments your clothes and starts talking to you (asks your name, gives you his, asks you if you wanna have a drink, etc)?

Like is there a better way to approach girls? perhaps not mention that she's pretty or beautiful at all to avoid being seen as too aggressive?
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Anonymous #1
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I'm asking girls who like guys obviously. Lesbians replying with 'no because I don't like guys is neither funny nor informative'.
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Anonymous #2
#3
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I think that's a nice way actually. Pretty normal
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Surnia
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#4
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It's shallow to start about looks and clothes. Better to introduce yourself, ask why they are at the party (as in who they know), and what they do. Do you want a connection with someone who wears a nice dress or someone who is interesting and humorous? I'm not bothered about clichés and would rather talk to someone who wants to get to know me as a person.

I had my first date with a guy 4 days after meeting, and after only 2 conversations, because we got to know each other so quickly; it was a 12-mile run, because he found out that was my thing. He is now my long-term boyfriend.
Last edited by Surnia; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
It's shallow to start about looks and clothes. Better to introduce yourself, ask why they are at the party (as in who they know), and what they do. Do you want a connection with someone who wears a nice dress or someone who is interesting and humorous?
It's just an icebreaker and a way to make sure she knows I am interested in her from the start.

Having a good style is a character trait too, some people actually spend time thinking about what to wear and can be very creative. Being pretty mostly isn't something people spend time thinking about ofc but makeup and so on are things they do put effort in and I thought it'd be nice to acknowledge?

I am not saying you're wrong btw, I ask for advice and you've given it. I agree my way may be seen as too aggressive or shallow and your approach is milder and deeper. I do ask those things anyway but like after I make sure she knows why I'm talking to her. Maybe it's not needed, I assume girls in these settings know why a guy smiles at them and asks them questions lol.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's just an icebreaker and a way to make sure she knows I am interested in her from the start.

Having a good style is a character trait too, some people actually spend time thinking about what to wear and can be very creative. Being pretty mostly isn't something people spend time thinking about ofc but makeup and so on are things they do put effort in and I thought it'd be nice to acknowledge?

I am not saying you're wrong btw, I ask for advice and you've given it. I agree my way may be seen as too aggressive or shallow and your approach is milder and deeper. I do ask those things anyway but like after I make sure she knows why I'm talking to her. Maybe it's not needed, I assume girls in these settings know why a guy smiles at them and asks them questions lol.
Don't get me wrong, I like to dress up, but anyone can come over at a party and say something about "hey, you're looking gorgeous tonight"; it takes no thought. It's a different kind of person who actually asks questions about me and that's what would make them stand out and me be interested in them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Don't get me wrong, I like to dress up, but anyone can come over at a party and say something about "hey, you're looking gorgeous tonight"; it takes no thought. It's a different kind of person who actually asks questions about me and that's what would make them stand out and me be interested in them.
But I didn't that I'd say just that. I'd say hello, you look pretty or if I like something on their dress or like earrings, I'd mention that. Then I'd ask them their name, what they're doing here, etc.

Didn't say that all I'd say is you look great. It'd be my opening line, yeah, but I'd follow up with what I mentioned in the OP and above.
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gshe3
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telling us we're pretty or beautiful is nice but don't call us Peng or a sort. It's cringe lol
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gshe3)
telling us we're pretty or beautiful is nice but don't call us Peng or a sort. It's cringe lol
I have never used the word peng and I don't know what sort even means. I'm French so I speak English the way I was taught to at school lol. I use very little sling (mostly because I don't know how to) and basically speak proper (I've an accent but it's light).
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Anonymous #1
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I meant slang. Sigh.
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gshe3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have never used the word peng and I don't know what sort even means. I'm French so I speak English the way I was taught to at school lol. I use very little sling (mostly because I don't know how to) and basically speak proper (I've an accent but it's light).
oh well that French accent will always impress lol
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gshe3)
oh well that French accent will always impress lol
Never heard a girl mention it so I assume it's just you who might be ''impressed'' by it.
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gshe3
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no lots of girls find accents sexy ... and it's interesting

(Original post by Anonymous)
Never heard a girl mention it so I assume it's just you who might be ''impressed'' by it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gshe3)
no lots of girls find accents sexy ... and it's interesting
Seriously? I've tried hard to neutralise my accent and sound as BBC English as possible... my efforts were in vain!
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gshe3
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#15
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nooo keep the accent! it's sexy and a talking point
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Anonymous #3
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I think it’s pretty sweet, especially when men go for a more softer approach.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gshe3)
nooo keep the accent! it's sexy and a talking point
You can always tell, it's just far lighter than it used to be, I came to the UK when I was 17 so it's impossible to get rid of it completely.

I also speak somewhat formally and perhaps too politely (cringe) because I am not well versed in casual English :/.

So you can easily tell I'm French or at least foreign but no girl has ever told me it's a positive and with Brexit, I felt even more compelled to get rid of the accent.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think it’s pretty sweet, especially when men go for a more softer approach.
Softer approach? meaning? no sexual innuendos or aggressive body language?
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gshe3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You can always tell, it's just far lighter than it used to be, I came to the UK when I was 17 so it's impossible to get rid of it completely.

I also speak somewhat formally and perhaps too politely (cringe) because I am not well versed in casual English :/.

So you can easily tell I'm French or at least foreign but no girl has ever told me it's a positive and with Brexit, I felt even more compelled to get rid of the accent
No one I know would think differently about your accent due to Brexit don't worry.
And speaking formally is a rare thing now days and will make you stand out in a good way. Especially where Im from (Essex) where you are considered posh if you pronounce your 't's
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Zarek
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It depends if they like the look of you and you can say it with a bit of style. Also pretty girls get blasé about being told this so an alternative type of flirting might be more effective
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