Anonymous #1
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It keeps happening and I can hear them in my room from the kitchen I can hear them shouting at each other and it's upsetting me now. A few weeks ago it got that bad my mum refused to let my dad in the house so he had to*drive*somewhere, I don’t know where he went but he wasn't home for a few days and when he came home he said next time she kicks him out like that he's going to move out into these new flats being built he buy one and move there. I am a bit worried about that happening and I just want these arguments to stop because they are really upsetting me. I don't know what to do. I just don’t want this arguing to lead to my dad moving out because that would destroy the family.
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Anonymous #1
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Its my parents arguing
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thepunmaster.e
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#3
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I'm sorry that you're experiencing this. In all honestly if when they are together your parents just shout at each other and upset you then it may be better if they lived separately. I know that you're scared of you dad moving out but that wouldn't mean that he would love you any less and may make you and your mum happier too.
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Anonymous #2
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Sounds like your dad moving out may be the best thing for everyone.
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SharonMoxon
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It keeps happening and I can hear them in my room from the kitchen I can hear them shouting at each other and it's upsetting me now. A few weeks ago it got that bad my mum refused to let my dad in the house so he had to*drive*somewhere, I don’t know where he went but he wasn't home for a few days and when he came home he said next time she kicks him out like that he's going to move out into these new flats being built he buy one and move there. I am a bit worried about that happening and I just want these arguments to stop because they are really upsetting me. I don't know what to do. I just don’t want this arguing to lead to my dad moving out because that would destroy the family.
I don't know how old you are but doing that in front of a minor is abuse. May I suggest that you call Childline FREE on 0800 1111
Have a look at this link-they seem to have an online chat facility and will have expertise in supporting you
https://www.childline.org.uk/get-sup...unsellor-chat/
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by SharonMoxon)
I don't know how old you are but doing that in front of a minor is abuse.
no, it's not
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Anonymous #3
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Is it worth considering that the family is already broken and that a change of address of one parent won't change this?
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SharonMoxon
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(Original post by Anonymous)
no, it's not
https://www.womenshealth.gov/relatio...lence-children
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Anonymous #2
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shouting is domestic violence? in that case, every single child has been "abused"...
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Anonymous #3
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That's a US site. Would be more relevant to cite UK guidance and laws relating to what qualifies as child abuse.
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SharonMoxon
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's a US site. Would be more relevant to cite UK guidance and laws relating to what qualifies as child abuse.
I'm sorry, you are perfectly entitled to your opinion but this is my last post on this thread. Any form of DV in front of children will cause them harm, in any country
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by SharonMoxon)
I'm sorry, you are perfectly entitled to your opinion but this is my last post on this thread. Any form of DV in front of children will cause them harm, in any country
You have said that shouting in front of a child is classed as abuse and then provided a link to ChildLine where it is not listed as an example of an activity that is classed in those terms.

https://www.childline.org.uk/info-ad.../abuse-safety/

Nonetheless, they do offer advice to children who are experiencing this type of upset and so that's a good call.

https://www.childline.org.uk/info-ad...relationships/

I have been trained in Safeguarding for children at the college where I work and for a charity where I volunteer to support the vulnerable. Parents shouting at each other is not an example of behaviour where I would have to flag the child up for being at the risk of abuse, neglect or harm.

The original poster has not given any information that flags up a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour between the parents, though granted on one occasion, the father was made to leave the house. This doesn't meet the current UK definition of DV, domestic violence

The child that is distressed by their parents relationship problems can contact ChildLine if they are young enough, get emotional support from the Samaritans at any age.

They could talk to a friend, relative or Teacher/Lecturer, approach the support services at their school, college or Uni.
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Wolfbangenoff
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#13
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Hi

I'm not sure how old you are.
From what I've read I'm not sure what mum or dad has done and possibly you
do not know either.
You have grandparents, uncle/aunts, family that you can trust and if so, speak with them but
tell your parents first if you feeli its safe to do so.

If you feel you are at immediate risk, 999 is the number to ring.

ATB
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bellre
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#14
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I'm so sorry you're going through this, that must be so mentally tiring and stressful so kudos for staying so strong! My parents had a very unstable marriage and went through a pretty messy divorce and it was definitely for the best. As scary as the prospect of your dad leaving is, you're still gonna be able to have contact with him and see him. A divorce would probably be the best outcome as your parents would stop fighting in front of you and be able to move on and find happiness, which i assure you is a lot less traumatic than having to live with such an aggressive atmosphere. Whatever happens i believe in you! If you feel threatened at all by your family then maybe consider staying with a close relative for a bit or getting support from Childline or something, but otherwise try not to worry too much about your dad maybe moving out. In the end no matter what happens, none of it is your fault and they both still love you.
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