What do women find attractive

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Anonymous #1
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In general, what do women find attractive in men? And what makes a woman more likely to say yes to a date request?

And why is it that women reject men far more than men reject women?
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Anonymous #1
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My observation is this.

In both men and women, they’ll naturally want the best as a partner. Men, however tend to know their league more and adjust their expectations to match reality. Hence an average looking guy wouldn’t try going for the most beautiful woman who is highly desired by many men. Women, on the other hand will go for the best of the best and won’t adjust. True or false?
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HumbleBee_x
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My observation is this.

In both men and women, they’ll naturally want the best as a partner. Men, however tend to know their league more and adjust their expectations to match reality. Hence an average looking guy wouldn’t try going for the most beautiful woman who is highly desired by many men. Women, on the other hand will go for the best of the best and won’t adjust. True or false?
False!

Women are not all the same, there is no set criteria we all follow.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by HumbleBee_x)
False!

Women are not all the same, there is no set criteria we all follow.
But in general, would you say women have a narrower pool than men?
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Final Fantasy
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Adult women might place more importance on their partner's job security, income, maturity and financial stability. These are just general assumptions based on common sense, comfort and survival.
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Trinculo
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But in general, would you say women have a narrower pool than men?
This is the main difference between men and women:

Men and women both have standards - it is largely down to the individual what those standards are.

However, men will tend to go for the first woman that meets those standards.

Women will wait until they meet someone who exceeds those standards by the most.

This is why you get som many dudes settled down early with people they don't necessarily suit very well - and start looking elsewhere; and also why you get so many lonely cat ladies who have turned down 50 blokes because they weren't literally made of gold, had angelic wings and were heirs to the throne of a small European city-state.
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londonmyst
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It depends on the individual woman, different people have different attraction dealbreakers and dating preferences.
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CatGentleman
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Preferences vary a lot but generally speaking:

Tall or taller than her (depending on her height, that could range from shorter guys to very tall guys)
Nice, funny, interesting
Muscular body but not excessively so. Broad shoulders, small waist, bigger arms. Not fat, not very skinny. Athletic bodies always win tbh.
Shorter hair or more rarely, longer hair
Good looking face (this is difficult to explain and there's a lot of variation on what counts as attractive)
Wealthy and/or hard working and/or ambitious

Now, if someone is all the above he'd know it very well by now and would likely have very high standards as well.

So lots of women will settle because they themselves aren't all that either. Most of us, girls or guys, are average people, not what I described above.

If you think the list above isn't high standards it's cuz internet has messed up your perception. Most guys are not all of the above, some have a few of those and some may have only 1-2 or of those. Personality is also a tough one as lots of people think they're nice, funny and interesting but others seem to disagree lol.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My observation is this.

In both men and women, they’ll naturally want the best as a partner. Men, however tend to know their league more and adjust their expectations to match reality. Hence an average looking guy wouldn’t try going for the most beautiful woman who is highly desired by many men. Women, on the other hand will go for the best of the best and won’t adjust. True or false?
That is a shallow and immature way of looking at things.

There are plenty of stunningly physically beautiful women that have average looking boyfriends or husbands.

And there are quite a few highly physically attractive women that I've met that I wouldn't even consider for one moment as wanting to have them as a girlfriend.

On the whole, as a sweeping statement, sexual and romantic relationships just happen.
Boy meets girl. They get on. One thing leads to another.
It's entirely natural.

Women love sex at least as much as men do.
Women like intimate companionship at least as much as men do.

Attraction, chemistry, love. It comes in many different forms, flavours and via many different routes.

It's also - usually a two way thing. Women tend to like men that like them. Although women are, on the whole, good at smelling out the men that just come out with flattery in an effort to get the woman to jump into bed with them.

A highly effective strategy that men can employ is that instead of the man having the frame of trying to show the woman how good a boyfriend he'd be for her. He has the frame of "Let's get to know each other better. And have fun in the process of doing this. And let's see if you, the woman are good enough and are compatible enough with me the man. And of course, you the woman are quite welcome to evaluate me and if you don't like what you see at any time, you can walk away with no hard feelings and at least we had a good time whilst we were getting to know each other."

It's also a case of the man avoiding unattractive behaviour patterns. Such as coming over as needy or desperate or try hard.
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HS_1
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respect, intelligence and ambition
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My observation is this.

In both men and women, they’ll naturally want the best as a partner. Men, however tend to know their league more and adjust their expectations to match reality. Hence an average looking guy wouldn’t try going for the most beautiful woman who is highly desired by many men. Women, on the other hand will go for the best of the best and won’t adjust. True or false?
False. Men might know their league at first so they settle for a girl around their level of attractiveness. But then they get a huge ego and tend to look for someone better. You can always see girls talking about how theyll date an ugly guy and then he starts treating them as though theyre the ugly ones. So its harder for men to initially find a relationship but its harder for women to keep a relationship. Its happened to me and my friends loads of times. When theyve never been in a relationship, theyre desperate to find someone, then when they finally get you but you’re not a 10/10 they treat you like sh*t. They only respect girls who are 10/10, ones who even their friends would respect. I’ve had a boyfriend who’s own friends made fun of my looks and my body, and then he started becoming distant, until i found out he cheated. This is why its easier to go for an attractive guy because he couldve picked anyone but he chose you, but ugly guys are more likely to use you until they can find better and thats facts
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
That is a shallow and immature way of looking at things.

There are plenty of stunningly physically beautiful women that have average looking boyfriends or husbands.

And there are quite a few highly physically attractive women that I've met that I wouldn't even consider for one moment as wanting to have them as a girlfriend.

On the whole, as a sweeping statement, sexual and romantic relationships just happen.
Boy meets girl. They get on. One thing leads to another.
It's entirely natural.

Women love sex at least as much as men do.
Women like intimate companionship at least as much as men do.

Attraction, chemistry, love. It comes in many different forms, flavours and via many different routes.

It's also - usually a two way thing. Women tend to like men that like them. Although women are, on the whole, good at smelling out the men that just come out with flattery in an effort to get the woman to jump into bed with them.

A highly effective strategy that men can employ is that instead of the man having the frame of trying to show the woman how good a boyfriend he'd be for her. He has the frame of "Let's get to know each other better. And have fun in the process of doing this. And let's see if you, the woman are good enough and are compatible enough with me the man. And of course, you the woman are quite welcome to evaluate me and if you don't like what you see at any time, you can walk away with no hard feelings and at least we had a good time whilst we were getting to know each other."

It's also a case of the man avoiding unattractive behaviour patterns. Such as coming over as needy or desperate or try hard.
Then why on average do men get rejected a lot more than women?
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Gaddafi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Then why on average do men get rejected a lot more than women?
Men are the ones who ask out more often.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
False. Men might know their league at first so they settle for a girl around their level of attractiveness. But then they get a huge ego and tend to look for someone better. You can always see girls talking about how theyll date an ugly guy and then he starts treating them as though theyre the ugly ones. So its harder for men to initially find a relationship but its harder for women to keep a relationship. Its happened to me and my friends loads of times. When theyve never been in a relationship, theyre desperate to find someone, then when they finally get you but you’re not a 10/10 they treat you like sh*t. They only respect girls who are 10/10, ones who even their friends would respect. I’ve had a boyfriend who’s own friends made fun of my looks and my body, and then he started becoming distant, until i found out he cheated. This is why its easier to go for an attractive guy because he couldve picked anyone but he chose you, but ugly guys are more likely to use you until they can find better and thats facts
But then you go after those guys and you sleep with them then they cheat. Then complain. Then repeat.
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CatGentleman
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(Original post by Anonymous)
False. Men might know their league at first so they settle for a girl around their level of attractiveness. But then they get a huge ego and tend to look for someone better. You can always see girls talking about how theyll date an ugly guy and then he starts treating them as though theyre the ugly ones. So its harder for men to initially find a relationship but its harder for women to keep a relationship. Its happened to me and my friends loads of times. When theyve never been in a relationship, theyre desperate to find someone, then when they finally get you but you’re not a 10/10 they treat you like sh*t. They only respect girls who are 10/10, ones who even their friends would respect. I’ve had a boyfriend who’s own friends made fun of my looks and my body, and then he started becoming distant, until i found out he cheated. This is why its easier to go for an attractive guy because he couldve picked anyone but he chose you, but ugly guys are more likely to use you until they can find better and thats facts
The flip side and far more realistic scenario is that ugly guys can't and won't find anyone ''better'' (whatever that means) whereas attractive guys most certainly can and will.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by SpockAndRand)
The flip side and far more realistic scenario is that ugly guys can't and won't find anyone ''better'' (whatever that means) whereas attractive guys most certainly can and will.
This makes more sense.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
False. Men might know their league at first so they settle for a girl around their level of attractiveness. But then they get a huge ego and tend to look for someone better. You can always see girls talking about how theyll date an ugly guy and then he starts treating them as though theyre the ugly ones. So its harder for men to initially find a relationship but its harder for women to keep a relationship. Its happened to me and my friends loads of times. When theyve never been in a relationship, theyre desperate to find someone, then when they finally get you but you’re not a 10/10 they treat you like sh*t. They only respect girls who are 10/10, ones who even their friends would respect. I’ve had a boyfriend who’s own friends made fun of my looks and my body, and then he started becoming distant, until i found out he cheated. This is why its easier to go for an attractive guy because he couldve picked anyone but he chose you, but ugly guys are more likely to use you until they can find better and thats facts
What you've described there is the sort of man that is incapable of having a good romantic relationship with a woman.
You do get men like this.
It's a personality trait that is totally independent of their physical looks.

I'd say it's at least as hard to maintain a good romantic relationship as it is to get into one in the first place.

And also a lot of the skills and behaviour patterns that help to maximise the chances of maintaining a good long term relationship are different to the skills and behaviour required to get into a relationship in the first place.
To take one small example of the sort of thing I'm talking about: it's generally a big mistake in the UK to give flowers to a woman your are courting. Wheras giving flowers to a woman you've lived with for 2 years is a great idea.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Then why on average do men get rejected a lot more than women?
That's a good question. Social conditioning has a lot to do with it.

Also - very often - what comes over as rejection isn't really rejection. It's just a *** test. All you need to do is pass whatever **** tests get thrown at you and very often you're in.
Todd V's guide on how to pass these tests is a good one:
How to pass tests. You may need to substitute the right word for the *'s due to it being a crude non child friendly term
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londonmyst
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Then why on average do men get rejected a lot more than women?
Because men almost always make the first move and clear direct sexual overtures.
Asking out on a first date, messaging when seeking a hookup or trying to arrange followup dates when they are hoping to continue seeing the othe person.
This tends to apply regardless of whether the guys are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.
I've never asked a guy out on a date and never will.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
That is a shallow and immature way of looking at things.

There are plenty of stunningly physically beautiful women that have average looking boyfriends or husbands.

And there are quite a few highly physically attractive women that I've met that I wouldn't even consider for one moment as wanting to have them as a girlfriend.

On the whole, as a sweeping statement, sexual and romantic relationships just happen.
Boy meets girl. They get on. One thing leads to another.
It's entirely natural.

Women love sex at least as much as men do.
Women like intimate companionship at least as much as men do.

Attraction, chemistry, love. It comes in many different forms, flavours and via many different routes.

It's also - usually a two way thing. Women tend to like men that like them. Although women are, on the whole, good at smelling out the men that just come out with flattery in an effort to get the woman to jump into bed with them.

A highly effective strategy that men can employ is that instead of the man having the frame of trying to show the woman how good a boyfriend he'd be for her. He has the frame of "Let's get to know each other better. And have fun in the process of doing this. And let's see if you, the woman are good enough and are compatible enough with me the man. And of course, you the woman are quite welcome to evaluate me and if you don't like what you see at any time, you can walk away with no hard feelings and at least we had a good time whilst we were getting to know each other."

It's also a case of the man avoiding unattractive behaviour patterns. Such as coming over as needy or desperate or try hard.
then why is it that so many men get “friend zoned” or rejected when they ask a female friend out if as you say “women tend to like men who like them”. In my observation, they tend to go more for the ones that come out with flattery to get them into bed.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But then you go after those guys and you sleep with them then they cheat. Then complain. Then repeat.
What do you mean? Less attractive men have been the ones who cheated from what Ive experienced. So what do I do

(Original post by SpockAndRand)
The flip side and far more realistic scenario is that ugly guys can't and won't find anyone ''better'' (whatever that means) whereas attractive guys most certainly can and will.
Yes they can. At least better than me. Every couple I see the girl is always better looking because men will never ever date anyone less attractive than them. They will settle for someone at the same level as them but they always want someone better. The ego boost and confidence they get from getting into a relationship allows them to approach easier and become successful, I saw the girl my ex cheated on me with, she was gorgeous. No doubt attractive guys cant cheat but they dont have commitment issues. attractive guys who have already had their fun and want to settle down will like you for you.
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