A level Psychology helppp please

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zarahh09
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
We have to use the attached picture and turn it into a PEE paragraph. I have done it but not sure if it is exactly PEE paragraph. Can someone please check and help me correct it, please.

I find it difficult not to copy it.

My version: In addition, there is an issue with asocial stage. Schaffer and Emerson describe the first couple weeks of life as asocial stage. Babies that are still young, have bad interaction with people and therefore it is difficult to make any conclusions based on their behaviours. For this reason, this stage is not reliable, which makes it a weakness of stages of attachment.
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SupposedlyIronic
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#2
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#2
I can't see the attachment, but I can see your paragraph obviously and I know what you're talking about as attachment is one of my favourite topics.

I think PEEL is the best way to go for psychology, and it seems to be what you're attempting to use anyway. You have the point, explanation, and link, but I'm not sure about evidence. Maybe mentioning Schaffer and Emerson is enough, but I tend to write a bit more than this I think. Perhaps you could mention the 'frozen face' study?

Also, I'm not sure about the style of your paragraph. I don't think you'll lose marks, but I always think a well-written answer is more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt. I'm pretty sure it should be "the asocial stage", and there's no need for a comma after "babies that are still young". In addition, the link at the end could probably be stronger, but that's just me. It seems to fall a bit flat and become slightly generic.
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zarahh09
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#3
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#3
(Original post by ashtolga23)
I can't see the attachment, but I can see your paragraph obviously and I know what you're talking about as attachment is one of my favourite topics.

I think PEEL is the best way to go for psychology, and it seems to be what you're attempting to use anyway. You have the point, explanation, and link, but I'm not sure about evidence. Maybe mentioning Schaffer and Emerson is enough, but I tend to write a bit more than this I think. Perhaps you could mention the 'frozen face' study?

Also, I'm not sure about the style of your paragraph. I don't think you'll lose marks, but I always think a well-written answer is more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt. I'm pretty sure it should be "the asocial stage", and there's no need for a comma after "babies that are still young". In addition, the link at the end could probably be stronger, but that's just me. It seems to fall a bit flat and become slightly generic.
I attached the file
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SupposedlyIronic
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#4
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#4
(Original post by zarahh09)
I attached the file
Thank you. I get what you're saying about not just copying, but I feel your answer perhaps isn't that detailed in comparison. Up to you though, I wouldn't say it's a bad answer.
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zarahh09
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#5
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#5
(Original post by ashtolga23)
Thank you. I get what you're saying about not just copying, but I feel your answer perhaps isn't that detailed in comparison. Up to you though, I wouldn't say it's a bad answer.
okay tysmm
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SupposedlyIronic
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#6
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(Original post by zarahh09)
okay tysmm
No worries!
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