The Student Room Group

drifting from friends

i feel like such an awful person writing this. But i need help.

I am in a 'group' of 6. two are in two other groups, two are best friends, and of those best friends one of them is also very close with another girl in this group. Sorry that sounds so confusing.

The point is - I don't have a 'best friend' I have this group and this group only. Meanwhile they all have one specific person they can talk to.

I'm fine with that, of course. Some of them have known each other longer than me. The issue is that next year we are all going into a-levels. That means two more years in this same school i'm in (it's a high school + sixth form).

Two more years with these same people who I don't really feel connected to.

If i want to, I can put the extra effort in when talking with them. I can animate myself, laugh louder, work harder to be open. But it's so draining. Maybe this makes me a bad person. Having conversations with them drains me.

My other option is minimal interaction. I don't usually text them much. I don't text any of them of individually much, except maybe about school work. I'm becoming distant but only because I already feel so disconnected from them.

It's not that they're bad people. Sure they talk about other people sometimes, but the problem mainly is that we're just so different.

So there's my problem: I don't know whether to keep acting like I feel comfortable and engaging with them, or just not bother draining myself and only talk to them when I need to.

We have two and a half more years of school together. These are the friends I have. If I ditch them, or even drift away, who am I left with? I'll be on my own.

So...sorry this was so longwinded and quite a small problem in the grand scheme of things, but I just don't know what to do.
can you go to a different sixth form? sounds like you might benefit from a fresh start. A college might be ideal as not everyone will know others going in, so everyone will try getting to know people I guess
Do you have anything in common with these friends? How did you become friends in the first place? Also, it's possible that there will be new students joining in the sixth form, as it is a natural time to change schools, so you might be able to shift friend groups then.
Reply 3
Original post by IBkidinthecorner
Do you have anything in common with these friends? How did you become friends in the first place? Also, it's possible that there will be new students joining in the sixth form, as it is a natural time to change schools, so you might be able to shift friend groups then.

We have a few common interests: marvel, harry potter, music, that kind of thing.

How we became friends: Me and one of them (who is now in two groups) were originally friends, we all kind of clustered at the beginning of year nine as I knew some of the others vaguely during middle school and so one day I just sat down with them (it was September when everyone kind of wants to make friends, so it went well). Year 9-10 things were great, I think over lockdown is when I started noticing the dynamic changing a little. I think the differences are mostly in our personalities, as well as the fact that the people who are closer to each other have a lot of inside stories and interest that I personally do not share.

This is also paired also with the fact that whilst most people went to school this year from September-December, I didn't due to having a vulnerable family member. So I've missed out on a lot of experiences with them

I do have some hope that new people will be joining our sixth form next year though, and maybe I'll become friends with people I didn't expect :smile:
Reply 4
Original post by yasmin03
can you go to a different sixth form? sounds like you might benefit from a fresh start. A college might be ideal as not everyone will know others going in, so everyone will try getting to know people I guess

The sixth form I plan on going to has the options that I want to take, and is also local. All other sixth forms within my radius are either private or would require transportation that I can't afford right now. Thanks for the suggestion though, if it was possible I think I would definitely be going to a new one :smile:

It's kind of why I'm thinking of joining some clubs/groups, particularly a theatre group - I agree that a fresh start would be good for me and I think that's maybes one of the ways I can achieve that, meet some new people etc.
Original post by Anonymous
The sixth form I plan on going to has the options that I want to take, and is also local. All other sixth forms within my radius are either private or would require transportation that I can't afford right now. Thanks for the suggestion though, if it was possible I think I would definitely be going to a new one :smile:

It's kind of why I'm thinking of joining some clubs/groups, particularly a theatre group - I agree that a fresh start would be good for me and I think that's maybes one of the ways I can achieve that, meet some new people etc.


that’s a good plan. and if you’re not in the same classes as your friends you’ll meet new people anyway :smile:

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