"relationship" problem

Is there any way for me to convince my bf to unfollow girls on instagram?

Reasons on my end:
•Its his ex
•Someone he flirted before
•Someone who like him

I know I shouldn't blame him because of my insecurities but he had been comparing me to other girls and give excuses "my friends also follow other girls, why their gf didn't say anything?", "I didnt talk or **** them".

I am actually trying to move on for one week already but every now and then he still message me here and there. There is totally no point blocking, he'll find his way back even if he knows I don't like him following those girls.
I just need a way to either convince him once and for all or I'll just have to ignore his text longer..

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 1

Kxclaraa

Original post by yay_lilia

Don't ignore his texts, it will add to it and make it worse.
Try and calmly explain to him why you want him to unfollow them.
If he really cares then he'll see how much it's affecting you and making you feel and he will unfollow them.
Also, talk to his friend's girlfriends and ask them about it or ask them to help.
Maybe you could get them to ask his friends what they would do if they were in your position.
I hope this helps!

thank uu

Reply 2

Kxclaraa

Original post by lilynaylor

I think most girls prefer it if their boyfriend doesn’t follow any exes or celebrities on Instagram and I think it’s perfectly acceptable for you to want him to unfollow them
Most boys I know just unfollow girls who they have a past with just out of respect
If he isn’t engaging with their accounts eg not liking their posts or dming them, then it might be quite difficult for you to convince him as he’s not particularly doing anything wrong, but if he’s messaging them and liking their pictures and deliberately doing things that make you uncomfortable then in my opinion it shows a lack of respect for you, and one of the only ways for you to convince him would be just to let him know exactly how much it bothers you

he doesn't care about my insecurities, he blames me for being scared..

Reply 3

candydiva

Original post by lilynaylor

I rlly can't understand that thinking... most boys ime don't unfollow girls just coz a girl tells them to. OK maybe they are pwhipped and temp remove but as soon as they are away they re-engage esp with their buds around the dorm table. I saw exactly this happen when I was at UCL for a semester three dudes from next block came in to visit their friend in our block and they larfed as they said things like "Sarah doesn't like it that I follow Jenny..." "Hey this Jenny is she fit? Well let's all check her out!" and they all get going connecting....then set msg to "archive" in case gf grabs phone etc. I am puzzled why anyone would think this goes down any differently?

Also the "test of respect" is where this blows up. Coz habits like this don't change. Speaking for me only I don't have a prob with dudes who have other girls on IG etc.... coz if those girls ever conflict with his attention to me when we r together, I just walk on him and won't listen to his pleadings. He is done. On his time, no problem.

Girl wat r u worried about? Like he masturbates to these girls when u r not around? Coz if so that's human nature ofc he does and he won't stop coz of u... I won't let dudes control my porn viewing either....

Reply 4

candydiva

Fair enuf u responded with ur view. I get it that most girls are uncomfy with this idea after all most of my gf tell me similar lol but I am curious if u rlly believe such sanctions or actions can actually stop the dude from doing so in private? From my pov I just don't believe they can or do "work."

I accept human nature at work and don't try to fight certain tides. As long as his masturbation and porn habits don't enter our rel or only do so in positive ways (like if he finds porn that we can both enjoy together) then I have no prob and I don't seek to control him or how he feels about it or when he does it away from me. I think there is so much sex-negative behavior in society and not all of it is directed at us girls. Dudes have probs with this too.

Also with the tide of social media in everyone's pocket now and let's be honest thirsty girls on IG and esp OF which we read about on TSR almost every day.... then expecting to influence this behavior seems to have potential to promote angst rather than reduce it. We read about it all the time here on TSR there are daily threads from girls on their bf viewing/liking habits.

"relationship" problem

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