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What is he doing?

I feel like I have no control over this situation.
This boy that I invited round for a hookup ended up staying the whole night (a week and half ago), after that we chatter on insta every day, making loads of conversation. A week after the first time we saw each other again, we did hookup (as expected) and also spent hours talking and he didn't want to leave in the morning and was wanting to stay but I had things to do.
He then messaged me first and so I replied, and hen his messages went bad. He only sent 2 other messages after that both a day apart (we had both been drinking that weekend so my replies to these were late). The last thing he sent me was on Saturday night and it was 2 messages so I replied.

Since hen he has viewed my stories, liked my recent post and posted on his Instagram. But hasn't even opened my last message. I want to hookup again because its reslly good, I do think I have a little crush on him also but its mostly just the hookup.

But right now I'm confused. Why would he message me first just to not even open my message for 2 days? It makes me feel like I'm being purposefully ignored and he wants nothing to do with me. Obviously I don't know what he's thinking. Friends seem to hint he will message again because we do have a good time together but I feel so disappointed about it.
My own insecurities and trust from previous relationships tell me that I'm just not good enough and can't even get a boy to see me to hookup.

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

He wanted everything his own way.

He wanted to go from hardly knowing you at all to instantly being your live-in boyfriend whenever he wanted.

You didn't give that to him. So now he's reacted negatively towards you.

Maybe he has someone else on the go and is focusing on her. Or maybe he's just feeling butt hurt and is acting in a petulant way.

I wouldn't worry about the nature and frequency of his online contacts with you.
I'd focus on his behaviour when the 2 of you are together in real life.

It may just be a case of you being politely assertive and him falling into line with your wishes on how your relationship proceeds from here, inparticular the hanging around like a bad smell thing from him.

You could just phone him and have a chat with him and invite him round - for the evening (and not the whole flipping night).
If he doesn't pick up, just text him asking him to call you when he has a spare minute. If he declines your invitation, say fair enough and that you will consider that each of you is a free agent from now on.

I think the jury is out at the moment as to whether this man is worth having as your boyfriend or not.

Reply 2

Trinculo

The obvious answer is that everyone is crazy because of coronavirus. People who would previously have hit the road instantly will hang around a bit just to have someone to talk to.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I just have this deep feeling in me from previous relationship that its me and I am just not worth it.
I don't understand why he would message me first and start a conversation just to then ignore it for 2 days?
So then I feel embarrassed if I message him first when he's not even opened my last message. But I'm trying not to catastrophic. Maybe his DMs are broken, maybe the messages got lost amongst others, maybe he accidentally deleted the messages and didn't see i had replied.

I just feel embarrassed and disappointed. Its his birthday this week so I'll message to say happy birthday but I can't tell if I'll ever hear from him again