Can someone mark my Macbeth gcse essay please.... give it a grade too x

Watch
user56789
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#1
How is Lady Macbeth presented throughout the play?

Lady Macbeth a powerful but femine stereotypical more of what she shows in her motivation and desires shows towards the characters in Macbeth this is shows through her rooted prejudice ingrained against her to be a stronger person . At the very start of the gothic and blood-thirsty murderous play lady Macbeth had a stronger relationship with Macbeth as she tries to kill Duncan, but the plan never happened. "th highness" emphasise that LM has got a stronger power towards Macbeth. The work "highness" depicts how little LM would care for Macbeth but humiliate him in her decisions.

In act 2 LM is manipulative but forces Macbeth to intact his actions with the murder about his intentions and so that LM could live with more success with planning the murder of king Duncan with Macbeth. "When you durst do it , then you were a man" mocks the fact LM is griping on Macbeths past man bravery and his masculine traits .LM believes his is not worth to destroy someone with murdering. Th bland verb "durst " suggests that LM is overly forceful towards Macbeth in his intentions in what to plan on next

At the middle of the play Lady Macbeth gets a letter from Macbeth in Act 3/4 which tells him his situation in Macbeth does not want to lose his position in being king. As LM reads this horrific letter/soliloquy she engages in doing nothing but making her success happen with him. "alone" in Macbeths letter would depict in LMs male thoughts and feelings which would paranoid her as she is not powerful in what she is when she reads it .
Last edited by user56789; 7 months ago
0
reply
RazzzBerries
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#2
Report 7 months ago
#2
Hi! Is this GCSE level?
0
reply
user56789
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#3
(Original post by RazzzBerries)
Hi! Is this GCSE level?
yes
0
reply
user56789
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#4
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#4
anyoune??
0
reply
Pichi
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#5
Report 7 months ago
#5
(Original post by user56789)
How is Lady Macbeth presented throughout the play?

Lady Macbeth a powerful but femine stereotypical more of what she shows in her motivation and desires shows towards the characters in Macbeth this is shows through her rooted prejudice ingrained against her to be a stronger person . At the very start of the gothic and blood-thirsty murderous play lady Macbeth had a stronger relationship with Macbeth as she tries to kill Duncan, but the plan never happened. "th highness" emphasise that LM has got a stronger power towards Macbeth. The work "highness" depicts how little LM would care for Macbeth but humiliate him in her decisions.

In act 2 LM is manipulative but forces Macbeth to intact his actions with the murder about his intentions and so that LM could live with more success with planning the murder of king Duncan with Macbeth. "When you durst do it , then you were a man" mocks the fact LM is griping on Macbeths past man bravery and his masculine traits .LM believes his is not worth to destroy someone with murdering. Th bland verb "durst " suggests that LM is overly forceful towards Macbeth in his intentions in what to plan on next

At the middle of the play Lady Macbeth gets a letter from Macbeth in Act 3/4 which tells him his situation in Macbeth does not want to lose his position in being king. As LM reads this horrific letter/soliloquy she engages in doing nothing but making her success happen with him. "alone" in Macbeths letter would depict in LMs male thoughts and feelings which would paranoid her as she is not powerful in what she is when she reads it .
Not a teacher, but I'd say this is probably around a 5? You do have a good foundation of understanding about Lady Macbeth's role and you do implicitly suggest that her character is there to show the consequences of destabilising society by straying too far from norms- a good starting point for improvement is to explicitly say that this may Shakespeare's purpose for her character.

Maybe some points to help you improve:
1. Consider Lady Macbeth, not as an independent person, but as a construct of ideas that has been purposefully built by Shakespeare. Her character is used to draw upon, warn about, criticise, etc different societal concerns at the time.
2. There isn't enough close analysis or focus. You only analyse quotes once instead of looking at them from multiple lights or considering multiple perspectives/alternative perspectives. It's pretty counterproductive in an argument to only argue for one thing. Using 'suggests', 'perhaps', 'alternatively', 'maybe', 'implies' etc helps widen your argument.
3. Your analysis is also very vague. What part of the phrase causes horror or power from an audience towards LM's character? Is the horror felt accentuated by contextual references at the time? (e.g. references to the Great Chain of Being and divine order being disrupted- this would be the worst fear of Jacobeans during this period of political and social upheaval, especially as James I was a controversial king for being Scottish/having different religious views and the Gunpowder Plot had recently shaken everyone). You really need to weave context into your argument to elevate its level- in Shakespeare, the context is usually religious in some way.
4. You don't write enough to support your argument (if this is your whole essay), which weakens how convincing of an argument it really is. A good way to work on this is to refer to instances across the play and analyse how her character has changed while considering why this change has happened as well.
5. An introduction might be helpful (a thesis statement). You can outline all of the relevant characters, context and messages you're going to weave into the different strands of your argument.
6. Speaking of 'different strands', a theme can usually be broken down into multiple perspectives (e.g. for Lady Macbeth, her character can maybe be broken down into promotion of female power but also the abuse of power). What can you conclude from these different strands, then? I always find it easier to think of my conclusion before I break down the argument, so, for LM, I might think that Shakespeare advocates for a progressive role for women to have power as they also have potential, but there are limits to the power women can have as there will be consequences for them if they step too far out of their naturally-granted role (i.e. motherhood, nurturing- these disrupt the divine order, which is thus a threat to the Great Chain of Being which, again, is a Jacobean fear).

This is all I could think of for now. I hope that helps. Take it with a pinch of salt, by the way, because, as I previously mentioned, I'm not a teacher- just a sixth former who does English at A-Level.

Edit because I thought of one more thing:
7. Always keep the writer (Shakespeare) in mind when writing because, as I said, the characters are just constructs. I try to link everything back to what he may have potentially been saying at the end of a paragraph to keep the argument relevant. A good way to do this is to make sure you mention his name and key words from the question fairly often.
Last edited by Pichi; 7 months ago
0
reply
tinygirl96
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#6
Report 7 months ago
#6
This is a 5 overall. Tips and ideas for improvement of the essay are as follows below

Keep referring back to the original set question. Use the key words as a source of fodder to write up your essay. Make up and use your notes as another source of information to type up your essay. Be sure not to copy the facts directly from any internet source online but rather merely summarise any details instead. Read over the information carefully all of it when doing your online research.
Ensure the information is golden and that the website is a trustworthy one in addition. Look again at the text in question and then try to make up a short list of themes etc about five or six is enough. Also jot down some interesting and clever words to describe the characters, however avoid at all costs the word nice as this is a frankly misused and rather a overrated one. See if you can completely redo your entire analysis, use the feedback above as a means of improvement.
Other useful recommendations include quoting all online sites correctly down right at the bottom of the coursework essay as a footer box type thing. Also try to have a very short and concisely done first paragraph that acts as a short introduction to your essay. Good luck to you. Number each of the paragraphs or use bullet points to make things much more easier on your readers. Aim for five short paragraphs in total here.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

What support do you need with your UCAS application?

I need help researching unis (13)
14.44%
I need help researching courses (7)
7.78%
I need help with filling out the application form (5)
5.56%
I need help with my personal statement (36)
40%
I need help with understanding how to make my application stand out (23)
25.56%
I need help with something else (let us know in the thread!) (2)
2.22%
I'm feeling confident about my application and don't need any help at the moment (4)
4.44%

Watched Threads

View All