Binge eating disorder recovery blog

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Anonymous #1
#21
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#21
I threw away my special k cereal. And anything unhealthy. I’m starting my keto journey tomorrow. I’m going full keto so I won’t even be eating banana.
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Anonymous #1
#22
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#22
(Original post by Pathway)
Thank you, you're very kind. I feel like I have given up on myself, which is another source of shame for me. Perhaps in time I will actively choose to recover, I think you're incredibly strong for choosing to do so, it's inspiring.
Thank you.
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Anonymous #2
#23
Report 2 weeks ago
#23
(Original post by Anonymous)
Neither have I. Been dealing it with since I was a child. 12 years. It’s a lot harder to deal with when you’ve gone through it even longer so it means you’re stuck, really. Well I hope I can inspire you a little bit. Cause if I can do it than anyone I can. And if I can manage this week without crying for sweets then I’ll be happy.
I'm so sorry to hear that. Out of interest, have you ever sought to explore whether PTSD might also be at play here? I'm not a medical professional, but I suffer PTSD because of childhood and more recent trauma and the way it manifests for me is excessive control which I'm now working on with a counsellor (who doesn't know about my EDs). It might be worth looking into counselling as another step. I really find you inspirational here. I know now isn't the right time for me to recover, but I occasionally dream about what recovery may look like.
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Anonymous #1
#24
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#24
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm so sorry to hear that. Out of interest, have you ever sought to explore whether PTSD might also be at play here? I'm not a medical professional, but I suffer PTSD because of childhood and more recent trauma and the way it manifests for me is excessive control which I'm now working on with a counsellor (who doesn't know about my EDs). It might be worth looking into counselling as another step. I really find you inspirational here. I know now isn't the right time for me to recover, but I occasionally dream about what recovery may look like.
I have spoken to two therapists(currently with one right now) and spoken to psychiatrists, haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD. They’ve just told me I have PTSD symptoms (like intrusive thoughts and dreams where I am reliving the abuse again). And I’m sorry you went through it too. It all just sucks. Thank you!!
Recovery is a lot sooner than you think and you talking about it right now is already a step in the right direction. I don’t know you but I’m proud of you.
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Pathway
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have spoken to two therapists(currently with one right now) and spoken to psychiatrists, haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD. They’ve just told me I have PTSD symptoms (like intrusive thoughts and dreams where I am reliving the abuse again). And I’m sorry you went through it too. It all just sucks. Thank you!!
Recovery is a lot sooner than you think and you talking about it right now is already a step in the right direction. I don’t know you but I’m proud of you.
Hmm, if possible I'd ask for a more solid diagnosis as it can help you access more support (same for the ED too, T1D is very scary with a co-occuring ED! A friend of mine lost her sight due to her T1D and her ED ). Commonly people with long term childhood abuse end up with something called Complex PTSD (which is another diagnosis of mine), and EDs are often triggered by the abuse also. Is your therapist understanding of your traumas?
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Anonymous #1
#26
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#26
(Original post by Pathway)
Hmm, if possible I'd ask for a more solid diagnosis as it can help you access more support (same for the ED too, T1D is very scary with a co-occuring ED! A friend of mine lost her sight due to her T1D and her ED ). Commonly people with long term childhood abuse end up with something called Complex PTSD (which is another diagnosis of mine), and EDs are often triggered by the abuse also. Is your therapist understanding of your traumas?
I feel like I do have complex PTSD, does a psychiatrist have to diagnose that? cause the GP know nothing about it. How exactly did your friend lose her sight? And I’m sorry to hear that. It does suck. I’ve had only like 2 sessions but she listens very well and is very sympathetic. I’ve told her about my binge eating but because there’s a limited sessions, I think she’s going to focus on my GAD. I have severe paranoia which I think she’s going to focus more on that. She understands that all of the issues in my life is because of the traumas I’ve faced.
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Anonymous #2
#27
Report 2 weeks ago
#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have spoken to two therapists(currently with one right now) and spoken to psychiatrists, haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD. They’ve just told me I have PTSD symptoms (like intrusive thoughts and dreams where I am reliving the abuse again). And I’m sorry you went through it too. It all just sucks. Thank you!!
Recovery is a lot sooner than you think and you talking about it right now is already a step in the right direction. I don’t know you but I’m proud of you.
I agree with Pathway here that I'd seek a more solid diagnosis because trying to deal with your ED without resolving any underlying issues, such as complex PTSD, will be a much harder task as you'll only be dealing with the surface issues.

Thanks - I'm content at the moment not to recover, but I also hope that will change one day. I know recovering from this will be the hardest thing I ever do and will also be the making of my life, but I'm not quite ready yet.
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Anonymous #1
#28
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#28
(Original post by Anonymous)
I agree with Pathway here that I'd seek a more solid diagnosis because trying to deal with your ED without resolving any underlying issues, such as complex PTSD, will be a much harder task as you'll only be dealing with the surface issues.

Thanks - I'm content at the moment not to recover, but I also hope that will change one day. I know recovering from this will be the hardest thing I ever do and will also be the making of my life, but I'm not quite ready yet.
I will try.
And that’s absolutely fine
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Pathway
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like I do have complex PTSD, does a psychiatrist have to diagnose that? cause the GP know nothing about it. How exactly did your friend lose her sight? And I’m sorry to hear that. It does suck. I’ve had only like 2 sessions but she listens very well and is very sympathetic. I’ve told her about my binge eating but because there’s a limited sessions, I think she’s going to focus on my GAD. I have severe paranoia which I think she’s going to focus more on that. She understands that all of the issues in my life is because of the traumas I’ve faced.
I'm not sure it'd help if I would disclose how it happened to her (although I do know what she did), I'm concerned about if it would trigger you to copy. But yes, T1D and EDs are very lethal and scary combined, particularly if you go down the same route my friend went down. I'd have a candid discussion with your GP about your ED, and directly ask them for a referral to secondary care MH services so they can assess you and pass your case on to ED services. It's also worth speaking to your diabetes care team about your ED too.

re: severe paranoia, that's actually a common issue found in people who're traumatised, so I hope she helps you. although I'd hope more that you get correct support for the ED side of things as it can go from bad to deadly very quickly for people in your position. :sadnod:
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Anonymous #1
#30
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#30
(Original post by Pathway)
I'm not sure it'd help if I would disclose how it happened to her (although I do know what she did), I'm concerned about if it would trigger you to copy. But yes, T1D and EDs are very lethal and scary combined, particularly if you go down the same route my friend went down. I'd have a candid discussion with your GP about your ED, and directly ask them for a referral to secondary care MH services so they can assess you and pass your case on to ED services. It's also worth speaking to your diabetes care team about your ED too.

re: severe paranoia, that's actually a common issue found in people who're traumatised, so I hope she helps you. although I'd hope more that you get correct support for the ED side of things as it can go from bad to deadly very quickly for people in your position. :sadnod:
It wouldn’t but it’s okay if you can’t. As you know it can get very lethal yet my GP was like there’s nothing she can do and wasn’t taking it’s serious AT ALL. So wasn’t my diabetic nurse and dietitian. I’ll book a tomorrow again and this time ask for referral to ED services.

I hope so but I feel like when I tell them I have a carb addiction and I eat way too much, they don’t take it as seriously but they take drugs and alcohol addiction seriously. Why is that? Both can kill.
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Anonymous #2
#31
Report 2 weeks ago
#31
(Original post by Anonymous)
It wouldn’t but it’s okay if you can’t. As you know it can get very lethal yet my GP was like there’s nothing she can do and wasn’t taking it’s serious AT ALL. So wasn’t my diabetic nurse and dietitian. I’ll book a tomorrow again and this time ask for referral to ED services.

I hope so but I feel like when I tell them I have a carb addiction and I eat way too much, they don’t take it as seriously but they take drugs and alcohol addiction seriously. Why is that? Both can kill.
I think it's because obesity is seen as increasingly normal in the modern world that it's not taken as seriously whereas drug and alcohol addiction are not as normalised. In addition, with the exception of yourself and others who have diabetes, a shedload of carbs isn't going to kill someone immediately, but a drug overdose or excess alcohol could so it's relative danger. To be fair, in the ED community, those who have BED aren't always treated seriously and that's so wrong because everyone with an ED has the right to feel like they matter and what they're going through is valid.
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Anonymous #1
#32
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#32
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think it's because obesity is seen as increasingly normal in the modern world that it's not taken as seriously whereas drug and alcohol addiction are not as normalised. In addition, with the exception of yourself and others who have diabetes, a shedload of carbs isn't going to kill someone immediately, but a drug overdose or excess alcohol could so it's relative danger. To be fair, in the ED community, those who have BED aren't always treated seriously and that's so wrong because everyone with an ED has the right to feel like they matter and what they're going through is valid.
I guess they’re just waiting for us to die before they actually start to care. And I think it’s even harder for us because we HAVE to eat food and food is everywhere and easily accessible. And can be very cheap. Exactly, there needs to be a lot more support for people with ED.
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Pathway
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Anonymous)
It wouldn’t but it’s okay if you can’t. As you know it can get very lethal yet my GP was like there’s nothing she can do and wasn’t taking it’s serious AT ALL. So wasn’t my diabetic nurse and dietitian. I’ll book a tomorrow again and this time ask for referral to ED services.

I hope so but I feel like when I tell them I have a carb addiction and I eat way too much, they don’t take it as seriously but they take drugs and alcohol addiction seriously. Why is that? Both can kill.
Tell everyone who is involved in your care! They have a duty of care to help you.

Diabulimia (not an official diagnostic term, but still relevant), is getting more and more recognition both inside MH services/ED services and in general medicine.

In all fairness, EDs in general are quite often dismissed. I don't agree with it, but so are other types of addictions like the ones you describe. Any MH difficulty that presents itself in this way is often avoided by clinicians for some reason I've yet to understand. Hell, I reguarly got told by ED services to "just eat" and to "grow up" and such whilst they'd simultaneously panic about heart arrhythmias I was having and various other medical problems that were either caused or exacerbated by my ED (I'm physically disabled by some other issues that are genetic). Having had my ED for around 20 odd years to varying degrees, I'll likely never be fully free of it, but having difficulties with my local MH service being so awful in various ways towards me is wholly unhelpful. I no longer engage with ED services because of this, although if I become severely unwell again they'll likely try to section me (again). Really, I hope things get better for you and that someone is fighting in your corner, you deserve better. Strangely, my other specialists (outside of MH services) are much better at helping me with my AN and MH issues, which speaks volumes tbh.

Please let us know how it goes? :hugs:
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Anonymous #2
#34
Report 2 weeks ago
#34
(Original post by Anonymous)
I guess they’re just waiting for us to die before they actually start to care. And I think it’s even harder for us because we HAVE to eat food and food is everywhere and easily accessible. And can be very cheap. Exactly, there needs to be a lot more support for people with ED.
You are so right about the BIB. If you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, then you can get help to give it up, but we need food to live. Certainly, I try to be very understanding about BED because it's important we all support each other. I mean realistically what you and I go through is similar, the only difference is where we'll both binge, I'll go one step further and purge and that **** is nasty.
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Anonymous #1
#35
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#35
(Original post by Anonymous)
You are so right about the BIB. If you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, then you can get help to give it up, but we need food to live. Certainly, I try to be very understanding about BED because it's important we all support each other. I mean realistically what you and I go through is similar, the only difference is where we'll both binge, I'll go one step further and purge and that **** is nasty.
I don’t know a lot about your condition but I know the physical symptoms can be quite bad. It’s really hard for you to try to stop I can imagine. and I understand bulimia can get really messy? I hate any type of physical pain so I couldn’t try to puke it out.

(Original post by Pathway)
Tell everyone who is involved in your care! They have a duty of care to help you.

Diabulimia (not an official diagnostic term, but still relevant), is getting more and more recognition both inside MH services/ED services and in general medicine.

In all fairness, EDs in general are quite often dismissed. I don't agree with it, but so are other types of addictions like the ones you describe. Any MH difficulty that presents itself in this way is often avoided by clinicians for some reason I've yet to understand. Hell, I reguarly got told by ED services to "just eat" and to "grow up" and such whilst they'd simultaneously panic about heart arrhythmias I was having and various other medical problems that were either caused or exacerbated by my ED (I'm physically disabled by some other issues that are genetic). Having had my ED for around 20 odd years to varying degrees, I'll likely never be fully free of it, but having difficulties with my local MH service being so awful in various ways towards me is wholly unhelpful. I no longer engage with ED services because of this, although if I become severely unwell again they'll likely try to section me (again). Really, I hope things get better for you and that someone is fighting in your corner, you deserve better. Strangely, my other specialists (outside of MH services) are much better at helping me with my AN and MH issues, which speaks volumes tbh.

Please let us know how it goes? :hugs:
Healthcare professionals have been so unserious with my eating habits, so I feel like I’m going to have to do it all on my own but I’ll tell my gp to refer.

I don’t understand why people are so mean to people who want help for their mental health issues like we’re already so fragile already so they should be walking on eggshells being careful with what they say but they just anything and everything, being so rude and low-key making us feel like we are being burden.
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Anonymous #2
#36
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#36
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t know a lot about your condition but I know the physical symptoms can be quite bad. It’s really hard for you to try to stop I can imagine. and I understand bulimia can get really messy? I hate any type of physical pain so I couldn’t try to puke it out.
Yep. I've thankfully seemingly avoided the worst of it. Like the enamel on my teeth isn't great and I do get stomach pains every so often. I very, very rarely get chest pain so the damage I've done so far is hopefully not that bad. The odd thing for me is that there's a rush with bulimia. Like it sounds odd, but it's a way of safely recreating a lack of control that I feel (I massively struggle with control as part of my PTSD), then exerting control through purging. It can get very messy, but thankfully again I've avoided that happening.
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Pathway
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#37
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#37
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t know a lot about your condition but I know the physical symptoms can be quite bad. It’s really hard for you to try to stop I can imagine. and I understand bulimia can get really messy? I hate any type of physical pain so I couldn’t try to puke it out.


Healthcare professionals have been so unserious with my eating habits, so I feel like I’m going to have to do it all on my own but I’ll tell my gp to refer.

I don’t understand why people are so mean to people who want help for their mental health issues like we’re already so fragile already so they should be walking on eggshells being careful with what they say but they just anything and everything, being so rude and low-key making us feel like we are being burden.
I hope they listen to you!

I wouldn't say they need to treat us like we're fragile (I don't think I'm "fragile," personally) or that they need to walk on eggshells either, but a bit of respect and understanding, along with some empathy wouldn't go amiss. Just treat me like a human, that's what I want from those involved in my care. Most are do treat me well, just mostly MH people don't. :dontknow:
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Anonymous #1
#38
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#38
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yep. I've thankfully seemingly avoided the worst of it. Like the enamel on my teeth isn't great and I do get stomach pains every so often. I very, very rarely get chest pain so the damage I've done so far is hopefully not that bad. The odd thing for me is that there's a rush with bulimia. Like it sounds odd, but it's a way of safely recreating a lack of control that I feel (I massively struggle with control as part of my PTSD), then exerting control through purging. It can get very messy, but thankfully again I've avoided that happening.
Honestly that sounds really complicated. It all links back to the trauma and ptsd. But with ptsd, I guess it gets better in time and when you’re out that evironment.

(Original post by Pathway)
I hope they listen to you!

I wouldn't say they need to treat us like we're fragile (I don't think I'm "fragile," personally) or that they need to walk on eggshells either, but a bit of respect and understanding, along with some empathy wouldn't go amiss. Just treat me like a human, that's what I want from those involved in my care. Most are do treat me well, just mostly MH people don't. :dontknow:
Thanks, will update this blog and update you which will hopefully be tomorrow.


Is that too much to ask? For them, it seems like it is. Hopefully they will. When I was in hospital for taking my own life in the past, the mh team and overall, the.nurses and doctors were so mean and dismissive but in the pool of meanies there were 2 old lady nurses who were really nice and helpful, hard to find the good ones.

okay goodnight you two🥰🌸
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Anonymous #1
#39
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#39
I will also put my blood sugars down:
This morning it was 16. Which is bad. My blood sugars need to be under 10 and above 4.
I’m hoping my bs would improve on this keto diet.
I haven’t ate yet and I just woke up 20 mins ago. So in the next hour or so, I’ll go ASDA and buy:
Apple
Lettuce
Eggs
Tuna
Multivitamin pills
Ham
Cheese
and starburst for my hypos only.
Asda is a mile away so I’ll walk there and back. That’ll be my exercise for the day.
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Anonymous #1
#40
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#40
(Original post by Anonymous)
I will also put my blood sugars down:
This morning it was 16. Which is bad. My blood sugars need to be under 10 and above 4.
I’m hoping my bs would improve on this keto diet.
I haven’t ate yet and I just woke up 20 mins ago. So in the next hour or so, I’ll go ASDA and buy:
Apple
Lettuce
Eggs
Tuna
Multivitamin pills
Ham
Cheese
and starburst for my hypos only.
Asda is a mile away so I’ll walk there and back. That’ll be my exercise for the day.
Sorry, it should be under 9. Normal glucose level is 5-7
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