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Hating everything about uni due to homesickness
I know there is a thread devoted to starting uni but no-one ever seems to reply to my posts there! So I thought I'd post here instead.
It's been 3 weeks and 3 days since I came to uni and I still hate it. I've joined clubs, tried to concentrate in lectures, made friends with my flat mates and still all I want to do is go home.
My mum has been over to see my twice now (she just left) and everytime she's here I feel soooo much better. And she keeps telling me she thinks I can get over the homesickness and stay here but I really don't think I can.
I haven't done any work whatsoever since I got here as I just can't concentrate. Even when I felt much better at the weekend when my mum was here I still couldn't do any work.
My parents are doing all they can to keep me here and I really appreciate it I don't think I can stick this much longer. If I stay another 3 weeks and still feel like this do you think that is enough time to try? I really am trying to not cry all the time, and eat as much as I can but I've completely lost my appetite.
I don't want to be a failure. And I really like the uni and the people here but my homesickness is so bad I just can't enjoy it. If I go home all my friends are at uni but I don't even care! I'm just so miserable here all the time.
It's been 3 weeks and 3 days since I came to uni and I still hate it. I've joined clubs, tried to concentrate in lectures, made friends with my flat mates and still all I want to do is go home.
My mum has been over to see my twice now (she just left) and everytime she's here I feel soooo much better. And she keeps telling me she thinks I can get over the homesickness and stay here but I really don't think I can.
I haven't done any work whatsoever since I got here as I just can't concentrate. Even when I felt much better at the weekend when my mum was here I still couldn't do any work.
My parents are doing all they can to keep me here and I really appreciate it I don't think I can stick this much longer. If I stay another 3 weeks and still feel like this do you think that is enough time to try? I really am trying to not cry all the time, and eat as much as I can but I've completely lost my appetite.
I don't want to be a failure. And I really like the uni and the people here but my homesickness is so bad I just can't enjoy it. If I go home all my friends are at uni but I don't even care! I'm just so miserable here all the time.
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personally I say do your best to hold out until Christmas, but I'm a drop out myself and know uni's just not for everyone.
consider what you'll do if you leave. could you do an open uni course/some sort of vocational thing/just go straight to work.
Then if you do decide to leave you've got a plan and can explain this to your family as well.
edit: if it's just homesickness could you go home at the weekends? just keep looking forward to the holidays and things, make sure you've got contact with your family and i'm sure you'll be fine. if you like the uni and the people you're heading the right way, just need to properly settle in. 3 weeks isn't that long at all!
consider what you'll do if you leave. could you do an open uni course/some sort of vocational thing/just go straight to work.
Then if you do decide to leave you've got a plan and can explain this to your family as well.
edit: if it's just homesickness could you go home at the weekends? just keep looking forward to the holidays and things, make sure you've got contact with your family and i'm sure you'll be fine. if you like the uni and the people you're heading the right way, just need to properly settle in. 3 weeks isn't that long at all!
When i started uni i was told so many times that it can often take until christmas till people feel settled and all the feelings of homesickness etc go away.
It does seem like your trying by getting involved and making friends etc.
The only thing i can suggest is pick a suitable amount of time to work towards and then, if you still feel the same..consider going home.
Maybe going home for the weekend now and again might help. Ive heard people saying before that the only cure for homesickness is to take a trip home.
It does seem like your trying by getting involved and making friends etc.
The only thing i can suggest is pick a suitable amount of time to work towards and then, if you still feel the same..consider going home.
Maybe going home for the weekend now and again might help. Ive heard people saying before that the only cure for homesickness is to take a trip home.
my local uni said they will give me an unconditional for next year.
my family know this is my drop out plan but they really want me to stay.
I'm so behind on my work cause I can't concentrate, which isn't like me. I'm not myself here at all. I feel like such a failure but I'd rather be a happy failure than fail my degree and be a miserable failure.
how long did you stay at uni? what made you decide to drop out? did you regret it at all? and did anyone say anything mean about you dropping out?
my family know this is my drop out plan but they really want me to stay.
I'm so behind on my work cause I can't concentrate, which isn't like me. I'm not myself here at all. I feel like such a failure but I'd rather be a happy failure than fail my degree and be a miserable failure.
how long did you stay at uni? what made you decide to drop out? did you regret it at all? and did anyone say anything mean about you dropping out?
I feel the same way as you sometimes. I'm a 2nd year just come back to uni yesterday from being at home for a month. I've only been really close to my mum for a year so whenever I have to leave I cry a lot and I went home frequently last year.
I can say that it does take a lot of time to feel comfortable being on your own but you will get there. You need to do something fun and take your mind off it, so that you're not holding back on having fun and thinking about home. I think you should try and stay a bit longer if you can, the longer the better. 3 weeks isn't that long really and things are still relatively new. Do you have any lecturers you could talk to about this, or a counselling service at uni?
I can say that it does take a lot of time to feel comfortable being on your own but you will get there. You need to do something fun and take your mind off it, so that you're not holding back on having fun and thinking about home. I think you should try and stay a bit longer if you can, the longer the better. 3 weeks isn't that long really and things are still relatively new. Do you have any lecturers you could talk to about this, or a counselling service at uni?
yes I've been to see the cousellor and my tutor. the counsellor didnt help at all. she said the same as my tutor. stay for a while and if you are still homesick drop out. it will be 6 weeks when i make my decision, not 3.
i know but for some people 18 is not the right age. and i have no problem with leaving home and staying in the same country.
Anonymous
how long did you stay at uni? what made you decide to drop out? did you regret it at all? and did anyone say anything mean about you dropping out?
how long did you stay at uni? what made you decide to drop out? did you regret it at all? and did anyone say anything mean about you dropping out?
i dropped out in april so 7/8 months there.
left because i plain didn't want to be there.
don't regret it (though i kind of regret not staying the extra 3 months to complete the first year).
people weren't mean as such but they let me know they thought i screwed up and are still suggesting that i go back in to education 6 months on.
as for your local uni, sounds like a good back up plan. you'll still get your qualification and more importantly you'll be happy.
Keep it as that, a back up plan, though because being away from home will do you good if you're planning on leaving your home town later in life.
sozzberry
You're going to have to leave home for good eventually, so if you don't stick it out now you're only gonna have to later on.
Very true.
You may well end up regretting it if you drop out that early. I think you should write a pro's and cons list.
I've written 3 pros and cons list. They are the same length. But I personally think happiness is the most important thing. So it should carry more weight than anything else.
It is, but it can change pretty quickly. I get unhappy here but I know if I left I'd be really unhappy in a matter of a few weeks.
Everyone is different though and I don't think I would be unhappy if I left.
Try and stick it out for a few more weeks and if you can't then you can always go again the next year. I just hope it works out for you cos its a tough decision. As my mum said on Friday, "The grass is always greener on the other side."
If you're going to drop out make sure you've got a plan. Sitting on your ass for 11 months is going to **** with your head, you won't believe the levels of boredom that can be reached. I'd say stick it out a bit longer. Uni can be hard to adjust to for some people but you've had 18 years at home, 3 weeks away, it's hardly a fair contest. Stick it out a bit longer but if you're truly unhappy then drop out and try somewhere else. But make sure you've got something to do in the 11 months.
I'm in the same sort of position. The only difference with me is that I'm not giving myself the option of going back home or starting another course later on, I'm determined to stay here. My parents cam down last weekend and I spent the whole time in tears and wanting to go back home with them but I knew I had to stay. At the moment the only think that gets me through the day is knowing that I can speak to my parents on the phone later on and every day that passes it's a day closer to me being able to go home and see my family.
As someone said before, and as my parents have said to me, you'll have to move out eventually and now might be the best time. I know this will pass and there'll be a point where I stop having to get through the day and start to feel happier.
As someone else said, though, University isn't for everyone so if you don't stick it out then it's not a problem because you have a back up plan. It sounds like your parents are really supportive and they just don't want you to do anything that you might regret later on. I think you should stick it out until Christmas and then if it's really bad and you want to go home then you should
*hugs* and I hope things get better for you
As someone said before, and as my parents have said to me, you'll have to move out eventually and now might be the best time. I know this will pass and there'll be a point where I stop having to get through the day and start to feel happier.
As someone else said, though, University isn't for everyone so if you don't stick it out then it's not a problem because you have a back up plan. It sounds like your parents are really supportive and they just don't want you to do anything that you might regret later on. I think you should stick it out until Christmas and then if it's really bad and you want to go home then you should
*hugs* and I hope things get better for you
I have a plan.
My mum says stick it out till Friday (4 weeks) and I know you will all say it's too soon but I know myself better than you know me (obviously) and I know I have given this my all.
My mum says stick it out till Friday (4 weeks) and I know you will all say it's too soon but I know myself better than you know me (obviously) and I know I have given this my all.
Anonymous
I have a plan.
My mum says stick it out till Friday (4 weeks) and I know you will all say it's too soon but I know myself better than you know me (obviously) and I know I have given this my all.
My mum says stick it out till Friday (4 weeks) and I know you will all say it's too soon but I know myself better than you know me (obviously) and I know I have given this my all.
As long as you're happy with what you're doing then **** everyone else
What's the plan?
Make sure you don't have to pay back any loans as well.
Make sure you don't have to pay back any loans as well.
Going to get a job. Pay my dad back as he paid for a lot of this year and I doubt I'll be able to get any money back. I'm going to see about that tomorrow anyway.
Applying for the same course next year at uni at home (they have already said they will give me an unconditional offer).
Applying for the same course next year at uni at home (they have already said they will give me an unconditional offer).
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