Sexually confused

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Noisivelet
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
Hi,

I always thought that I was into the same sex, as I came out when I was young. But recently I found myself being attracted to guys, one in particular, who is a colleague. He is sweet, but has never had a girlfriend. He is into working out and writing songs, he is in a band, and has invited me to watch him play once the lockdown is over. The thing is my ex girlfriend has recently told me she made a mistake breaking up with me, and whilst I still love her, I do not know whether I should rekindle our romance. I am fond of both of these people, and it is tearing me apart which one to choose? I only knew the musician for a few months, I was with my gf for over five years, but she abused me and treated me as if I was her item. I never thought I would find myself crushing on guys, as he is the first one.

What should I do?
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Anonymous #1
#2
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#2
(Original post by Noisivelet)
Hi,

I always thought that I was into the same sex, as I came out when I was young. But recently I found myself being attracted to guys, one in particular, who is a colleague. He is sweet, but has never had a girlfriend. He is into working out and writing songs, he is in a band, and has invited me to watch him play once the lockdown is over. The thing is my ex girlfriend has recently told me she made a mistake breaking up with me, and whilst I still love her, I do not know whether I should rekindle our romance. I am fond of both of these people, and it is tearing me apart which one to choose? I only knew the musician for a few months, I was with my gf for over five years, but she abused me and treated me as if I was her item. I never thought I would find myself crushing on guys, as he is the first one.

What should I do?
With how your ex treated you, I understand how you may question going back with the history you have but that would not be wise. Get to know this guy better and see what happens, you don't need to rush into anything quickly.
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Ethane_the_pug
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#3
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#3
if you are confused, most like that are bisexual. therefore you arent questioned for dating either gender. at least that's how my ex-bf explained it. idk anymore, i just like helping if i can. go for the musician, dont go back to a toxic relationship where you arent respected
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himamo
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#4
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#4
It's really down to how you feel about both people. Do you want to rekindle out of a place of comfort or you really enjoying being with her? How did you feel while you were dating her? If it was stress or fear, maybe consider that rekindling wouldn't be right. However, if you truly believe she can change and treat you better, there may be hope?

I also thought I wouldn't find myself crushing on guys, though one specific guy is all it took to change that and that's okay! Sexuality and preferences change which is why I found dropping labels was great. Perhaps since you're unsure, spend some more time with the musician and see how it goes ?
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Anonymous #2
#5
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#5
What do you think LovelyMrFox Ciel???
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candydiva
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#6
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#6
I have this prob from time to time... I need both in my life. I make it easy on myself and those around me coz I am in an open rel and master doesn't worry about my other dates, girls or guys. So yes it does not need to be a dilemma u can enjoy both ofc as long as u and they understand u want an open rel!

If not, there's no escape, u have to choose and deal...
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Foxehh
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#7
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#7
You are hesitant about rekindling with your ex, and rightfully so. Her abusing you should have her out of the question immediately.
Adding to that, if you got back together with her, a female, are you sure you wouldnt be tempted to explore yourself with your newly discovered attraction to men?
That said, you need to get over your ex before getting into any other relationships. And I think its a pretty crappy idea to get together with one of your colleagues- 'dont crap where you eat', and all that...

Neither sounds like a great option. Take a break from dating and work on getting over the feelings from your last relationship.
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