HUGE mental health struggle at work - should i just quit ?Watch
I've been working for this place for about 1 year and a half, and after working there for 4 months (ish), I started having problems with my colleagues who would try to sabotage my work, or sabotage my relationship with the management. I tried to fix it many many times but each time, when new projects are assigned to me (and not them), the sabotage/hate/envy/not talking to me cycles start all over again.
I've even thought about not taking few projects just because my relationship with my colleagues would get SO toxic AGAIN. (Stupid I know).
Recently, I've been offered another position as well as to be a lead in a major project. And since the second the news spread in the company, my colleagues started attacking me "why would you let the current project to us alone while we're only 2 people here", "why would you want to go there", "why would you take a position you don't know anything about", "do you even think you're going to be able to take such a responsibility". They literally bullied me for the last couple of weeks.
My mental health have been declining for the past 3 months, because on one side, I know my management have been assigning me different things because they felt i was unhappy and thinking about leaving. Also on the other hand, I feel like I've sacrified enough of my mental health staying at a place I feel like I don't belong to.
I feel quite dumb at this moment. I've had many opportunities that I let go just for the sake of staying at my current job. Thinking to myself that I should get out of my comfort zone and learn something from all of this.
And between all of this happening, I sometimes feel like I don't have what it takes anymore to find a better job. I'm at a very low point of my life right now. I think I've done a huge mistake by staying while I could've left when I had every chance to.
The situation rn is so bad that I'm thinking about leaving without even having another job as Plan B. Sometimes it gets to a point where it doesn't even matter to get another job then resign (it's that bad, yes). But often times, I think to myself that it'd be wiser to find a new place then resign. But I really can't stay there anymore. I go throught a huge mental stress and anxiety every morning when I know I have to see their faces again. My manager and my boss have been defending me and sticking to my side but I don't even want them to anymore. I know if I leave abruptly it'll leave me on bad terms with both of them. But how much can I still sacrifice?