Guy likes me But He Likes High Maintenance Women (help?)

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Anonymous #1
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I've had a male friend for about a year and we've always been really close and clicked. I kind of find him attractive (he is good looking), but he's a ladies' guy who even dated off Tinder during lockdown, so I like him more as a friend. He's always been v nice to me (our friends are always joking that I'm his gf) and got v flirtatious the other day over text. I told him I'd think about it.

We have LOADS of interests in common (we both love swimming etc) and get on. Thing is though, I'm attractive, get attention from guys but I'm not sure if I'm his type. Like I wouldnt say I'm low maintenance, I like to look girly and am really in shape etc. but the sorts of girls he likes wear loads of makeup, take lots of Insta selfies, wear fake nails, are really princessy etc. which is just not me. (I just got a part time job at a farm and my parents arent rich!
He's always posting about girls on FB and that girls who look like this are his ideal girls looks wise.

I have the same hair colour etc. as those girls which is prob why he likes me but I also don't want to look high maintenance like that lol its just not me. Should I just tell him I want to be friends?
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Moonlight rain
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*Says LOADS in common but only lists one*

Yeah he seems 2 much, tell him how you really feel
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neal95
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Sounds like it would be a waste of time for both of you tbh. And if there’s one thing that’s universally hated, it’s timewasting. So probably best to leave it I reckon
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
*Says LOADS in common but only lists one*

Yeah he seems 2 much, tell him how you really feel
Hence the etc?

Yeah, he's a bit weird re girls sometimes like I've given him girl advice loads of time and he goes from being infatuated with girls he's met on Tinder to hating them if they don't kiss his ass lol

And he's always saying that high maintenance types (like Kylie Jenner or Madison Beer) are his type
(Original post by neal95)
Sounds like it would be a waste of time for both of you tbh. And if there’s one thing that’s universally hated, it’s timewasting. So probably best to leave it I reckon
Yep, I like him as a friend and he is my type physically but I know he is horrible w girls lol
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Moonlight rain
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hence the etc?

Yeah, he's a bit weird re girls sometimes like I've given him girl advice loads of time and he goes from being infatuated with girls he's met on Tinder to hating them if they don't kiss his ass lol

And he's always saying that high maintenance types (like Kylie Jenner or Madison Beer) are his type

Yep, I like him as a friend and he is my type physically but I know he is horrible w girls lol
Well actually I have a “type” I prefer but it doesn’t mean I don’t talk to guys who aren’t. Just having those looks are just a bonus.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
Well actually I have a “type” I prefer but it doesn’t mean I don’t talk to guys who aren’t. Just having those looks are just a bonus.
Yeah, I could get that look if I did put on lots of makeup etc., and I'm also an olive skinned brunette which I know he's into

Idk though, as much as we're good friends feel like he can be a bit pretentious generally (his stepdad's a millionaire and he loves showing off designer brands on Instagram and making fun of bad areas) and wants a girl like that - would like to think Im not lol.
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Theloniouss
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If you don't like him romantically, don't date him.
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Moonlight rain
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah, I could get that look if I did put on lots of makeup etc., and I'm also an olive skinned brunette which I know he's into

Idk though, as much as we're good friends feel like he can be a bit pretentious generally (his stepdad's a millionaire and he loves showing off designer brands on Instagram and making fun of bad areas) and wants a girl like that - would like to think Im not lol.
You shouldn’t change who you are for Tyne worst for someone ???
If he doesn’t like you for who you are accept that and move on
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Theloniouss)
If you don't like him romantically, don't date him.
I'm not sure how I feel about him obv I love him as a good friend and he's my "type" physically but his attitude re girls is a turn off.
(Original post by Moonlight rain)
You shouldn’t change who you are for Tyne worst for someone ???
If he doesn’t like you for who you are accept that and move on
I'm not gonna change thanks, he has expressed interest, but I'm not sure if I should just let him down nicely or what.

He's got a massive ego with girls too its like he has to have them all. Like he's asked me for girl advice before and he either idolises them wayyy too much, or they treat him like crap and then he starts playing games and making them chase, saying "guys are the prize, so they should chase me" lol.
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Moonlight rain
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not sure how I feel about him obv I love him as a good friend and he's my "type" physically but his attitude re girls is a turn off.

I'm not gonna change thanks, he has expressed interest, but I'm not sure if I should just let him down nicely or what.

He's got a massive ego with girls too its like he has to have them all. Like he's asked me for girl advice before and he either idolises them wayyy too much, or they treat him like crap and then he starts playing games and making them chase, saying "guys are the prize, so they should chase me" lol.
He sounds immature, not good
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Zarek
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Sounds like this is an itch you need to scratch. Probably a mistake but nothing ventured nothing gained.
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Dunnig Kruger
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You are looking at him in completely the wrong way. Instead of wondering whether you are good enough for him, you should be assessing whether he is good enough for you.

You are beautiful. He would love to be your boyfriend.
All you need to give him is half a chance.

I'm seeing some red flags in him, in him having a lack of maturity and objectifying women. They are either angels or demons in his mind. He has too much of a digital view of women. They're either "on" or "off". Which is ridiculous.

Don't worry one bit about what he says is his ideal woman. He doesn't have a clue because he doesn't have that much experience with women. And - for example - amongst "high maintenance" women and "low maintenance" women, some are worth having as girlfriends, some aren't. IE there's a lot more to defining a woman than their maintenance levels.

Having said that, nobody's perfect. So go ahead and give him a go. As long as you enjoy spending time with him, carry on doing so. If or when it becomes clear that you'd be better off without him, or with another guy, dump him or put him back in the friendzone.

Also don't change yourself for him. Never change yourself for any man.
Change yourself for you. Look to make yourself a better person all the time. Better skilled at useful skills, better attitude and internal philosophy etc.
You as you are now are a wonderful package. And if this young man or another doesn't like the real you enough: **** 'em. Metaphorically, not literally.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
You are looking at him in completely the wrong way. Instead of wondering whether you are good enough for him, you should be assessing whether he is good enough for you.

You are beautiful. He would love to be your boyfriend.
All you need to give him is half a chance.

I'm seeing some red flags in him, in him having a lack of maturity and objectifying women. They are either angels or demons in his mind. He has too much of a digital view of women. They're either "on" or "off". Which is ridiculous.

Don't worry one bit about what he says is his ideal woman. He doesn't have a clue because he doesn't have that much experience with women. And - for example - amongst "high maintenance" women and "low maintenance" women, some are worth having as girlfriends, some aren't. IE there's a lot more to defining a woman than their maintenance levels.

Having said that, nobody's perfect. So go ahead and give him a go. As long as you enjoy spending time with him, carry on doing so. If or when it becomes clear that you'd be better off without him, or with another guy, dump him or put him back in the friendzone.

Also don't change yourself for him. Never change yourself for any man.
Change yourself for you. Look to make yourself a better person all the time. Better skilled at useful skills, better attitude and internal philosophy etc.
You as you are now are a wonderful package. And if this young man or another doesn't like the real you enough: **** 'em. Metaphorically, not literally.
Thank you! great great post

Definitely dont think I'm not "good enough" for him haha, just that I cba to do the stuff (wearing a lot of makeup, etc.) I know girls who are his physical type are. I see what you mean though great point I just think Im different to the girls he likes, not worse/better.

He has dated around a lot, I know him well to know that. I agree with you, I love a lot of his traits as a friend but he seems to kind of idolise women. I know he had a bad relationship with his mum growing up (his parents got divorced and apparently he had 3 stepdads and his mum had loads of boyfriends over too some of whom treated him badly) which maybe explains it?

I do enjoy spending time with him but Im not sure if I have romantic feelings for him. Of course I like him as a close friend, and physically he is kinda my type, but he's not what I go for romantic wise, like I like the good guys? Not the bad boys.

I won't change myself for him ofc Thank you though, I am currently changing myself for me. That is such a good attitude to have, thank you :heart:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
He sounds immature, not good
Yeah, I think he has mum issues because of his upbringing sadly
(Original post by Zarek)
Sounds like this is an itch you need to scratch. Probably a mistake but nothing ventured nothing gained.
Idk tbh, I value him as a friend and also not sure if I like him romantically. I mean we obv get on as friends and I find him physically attractive but I wouldn't settle for being treated the way he treats girls he dates ya know?
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londonmyst
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You are too focused on the guy- instead of being focused upon your own dating ambitions and dealbreakers.
Do you really want to hookup with a friend, have a fwb arrangement or start dating him?
If so- do you believe that the two of you would be sexually compatible or able to handle a bf - gf relationship as well as a close friendship?
Personally I don't get sexually involved with friends and wouldn't date a guy who is a player, devious/egotistical/into mind games or always posting on facebook.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
You are too focused on the guy- instead of being focused upon your own dating ambitions and dealbreakers.
Do you really want to hookup with a friend, have a fwb arrangement or start dating him?
If so- do you believe that the two of you would be sexually compatible or able to handle a bf - gf relationship as well as a close friendship?
Personally I don't get sexually involved with friends and wouldn't date a guy who is a player, devious/egotistical/into mind games or always posting on facebook.
Honestly for any other guy the way he treats girls would be a dealbreaker.

We have an amazing connection as friends ngl, and are each other's physical types apart from my not being super dolled up looks wise. Plus he expressed interest obviously but I know he totally goes crazy for girls who have the Kylie Jenner/Madison Beer high maintenance look and that is not me. Would rather date a guy who appreciates my look more

I don't mind the social media use yeah but he is a ****boy. He is v respectful as a friend ngl, always sticking up for me, but I have also seen the way he treats girls he meets off Tinder, I know lots of guys don't respect online dating girls as much but as you say it is a red flag.
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Anonymous #1
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bump
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NonIndigenous
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Ngl, this thread has a lot of buzz words in it that trigger me. I'll just shut up.
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NonIndigenous
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(Original post by Anonymous)
... I know lots of guys don't respect online dating girls as much but as you say it is a red flag...
Most people don't respect other people online as much. Regardless of gender.
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Anonymous #1
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cool
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