Are we a burden to my dad and stepmum-to-be?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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To give some context, my mum and dad were divorced this year after a lengthy separation and divorce process. Since then, both my mum and dad have found somebody new and are engaged. Me (18f) and my brother (15M) live with dad and his fiance.

When the separation happened, my mum moved out and an arrangement was made for my brother and I to visit her twice a week. However, it feels like this is less about seeing her than it is to get out of dad's hair. Whenever things mean the day we see our mum changes, dad acts irrationally angry towards both me and my mum. I really want to tell him that this is about us seeing our mum and can be done whenever, and that he shouldn't see it as a guaranteed night away from us. Both he and his fiance accept that they have children that aren't theirs in their house, but they are trying to get rid of us and being unflexible?

Furthermore, they are always going away on holidays without us. Is it bad of me to feel bitter about this? I know I am an adult, but I am on a part-time retail salery whilst I study. Places they're going are places I'd like to also go, but there isn't an offer and I really don't have the finances to pay my own way onto the trip - not that I'd want to if I wasn't wanted.

Am I being selfish and unrealistic as an adult child? I feel so confused.
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The Able
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Report 1 week ago
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Can't say i fully relate to what you're going through. but i do have some sembalnce of understanding as I was raised by a single dad until he remarried 12 years after the divorce with my mum. Some advice I'd give is to actually sit your dad down and talk to him about how you feel, you can get your little brother, mum and step-mum all in one room and clear up matters. I know it feels like a grand gesture that only happens in films but the truth is if you keep quiet and expect that the adults will get wise and rise up to the ocassion to understand that they are responsible for 2 kids, you might wait your entire life and that day never comes. It may leave you frustrated with bottled up rage that you carry around for a while, trust me you don't want that. Things are never the same after a divorce but its never the fault of the children. I salute your strength to even type this up. xx
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