Is this weird?

Okay so I saw a very similar thread today and it made me wonder if what happened with me was sexual abuse as well? It’s a long story so bear with me. Also I’m at a loss of word so I don’t know if this is “abuse” per se, it’s just weird.

Ok so I’m a guy (17 rn). Now when I was younger (2-3 years ago) I was pretty fat and chubby, with more feminine features like thick thighs, a pretty (thicc) butt and fat around my chest that made it look like...well breasts.

Now very often when my dad (straight male) would offer to massage my back (ngl many times I asked as well). He’d massage my back but while doing so he’d also sort of massage my butt and like squeeze it, which felt really really weird. And if he was drunk, he’d massage my butt even weirder (like using his arms?). He usually would even darken the room, and if someone came in he’d switch over to massaging my back or my legs, which felt really shady as if he was caught doing something wrong.

Then on some other occasions if we were in the jacuzzi, I’d ask him to rub some scrub on my back he’d take it a step further and rub it on my chest. Like he would be standing behind me, have his arms come around from my neck, and then scrub my chest - which seemed like a VERY weird position now that I think about it. It also was a very weird scrub - without being too disgusting about it his hands sort of caused a jiggling motion? This only happened on occasions when he had a little to drink.

Am I overthinking this or is this weird? Was it sexual?? I’ve stopped having any jacuzzis or asking him to massage. And he’s stopped to offer now too - I assume this is because I’m no longer having any of those feminine features (lost 20kgs!!) and am pretty skinny now.

Also he’s straight so why would he be sexually weird to a guy. Idk this another TSR post just made me think about these collection of incidents. Am I marring the memories of a seemingly harmless son-father relation?

I see why you’d be confused and idk if i’m it’s abuse either but if you felt uncomfortable then it wasn’t right even if he didn’t mean to make you feel like that even if it was innocent but try to not think about it but it does sound abit off but if he was like rubbing your butt then it might’ve been abuse

You’re definitely not overthinking this and it’s okay to feel confused, many people are. From the context you’ve given us, it does kind of seem like he was groping you, especially considering the fact he’d switch over to massaging your back as if he knew what he was doing was questionable in others’ eyes. I’m glad this doesn’t happen anymore I assume. Thank you for sharing your story. Don’t let anyone invalidate you, you’re strong!