Is this how he gonna end it

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Anonymous #1
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So i met this guy(19) and we been together for 4 months now and me(18) and him we get along real well and his family like me coz i make an efford other than his exs but recently i been noticing a change in him

So today he was saying (text) things like when hes with me he feels hes starting to become someone else .. Basically acting like me (meaning stubborn to him) for example to him when he says something dumb i refuse to give him a hand or kiss but that aint me being stubborn its me messing about with him

And hes been saying hes head been playing games with him, saying his head thinks we should be close mates and that his heart thinks the opposite that us will work and i just dont get it he was fine a month ago saying i was the right girl and right choice he ever made to be with me and i was his everything.

We dont argue or nothing like that but he has been upsetting me with what hes been saying ans i have cried in front of him i just dont know what he wants like he wanted me and now he's unsure like did i do something wrong? or did i say or do something or he saw something on me that put him off?
I know what i want and thats him i love him dearly but how can i be with someone who might not want me?

He has talked about the future... Kids and marriage and that and i can admit i can imagine having children with him but not marriage yet.. Marriage is a more bigger decision to make and it freaks me out sometimes

So sometimes i think hes hinting for a break up maybe its hes less hurtful way of doing it and i also noticed today before i finished the conversation he only put one 'x' at the end of text which he never done that and thats the giving me the friend sign to me and i know stupid that i got upset coz of that as well as him telling me that its a bad thing that hes starting to become like me and his mind thinks we should be close mates

Like **** talk about heartbreak..... But seriously i really wanted us to work
I think the moment i knew what point he was making was when he texted " we would still be hanging out in college"

This is how this conversation started so he texted saying "i feel like i really love you the same reason i cant be with you ever since i been with you i become someone else this is what my head been telling me i just dont feel like myself i been alone most of my life"

And **** i was so confused i missed the fact he added "i cant be with you" in that paragraph and so
Hes basically breaking up with me coz hes starting to become someone else... Meaning me like.. wtf just happend like what changed

I didnt think he is becoming like me like .. shall i admit to him he's laziness is making me lazy... But im i gonna break up with him because of that?.....no i aint but he... Well he thinks hes becoming stubborn like me... I aint stubborn its just me messing around just trying to be cute with him

I just dont know anymore i slept with him over his atleast ten times now i always find the time to see him like twice a week and respect him and dont rush him into things until hes ready

I thought he was happy with me like he says to me in person and he made me really happy even if i struggle to show emotions in words but what tf do i do the next time i see him i wouldnt be the same with him after what hes telling me like i probably wouldn't want to hold hands or kiss or hug as much as i used to or maybe i wouldnt want to sleepover again how can i be mates after a connection like that... Hes the best bf i ever had and... This is how its gonna end?

I need advice pls or anyone experience or any of the lads felt this way towards a girl who knows
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So i met this guy(19) and we been together for 4 months now and me(18) and him we get along real well and his family like me coz i make an efford other than his exs but recently i been noticing a change in him

So today he was saying (text) things like when hes with me he feels hes starting to become someone else .. Basically acting like me (meaning stubborn to him) for example to him when he says something dumb i refuse to give him a hand or kiss but that aint me being stubborn its me messing about with him

And hes been saying hes head been playing games with him, saying his head thinks we should be close mates and that his heart thinks the opposite that us will work and i just dont get it he was fine a month ago saying i was the right girl and right choice he ever made to be with me and i was his everything.

We dont argue or nothing like that but he has been upsetting me with what hes been saying ans i have cried in front of him i just dont know what he wants like he wanted me and now he's unsure like did i do something wrong? or did i say or do something or he saw something on me that put him off?
I know what i want and thats him i love him dearly but how can i be with someone who might not want me?

He has talked about the future... Kids and marriage and that and i can admit i can imagine having children with him but not marriage yet.. Marriage is a more bigger decision to make and it freaks me out sometimes

So sometimes i think hes hinting for a break up maybe its hes less hurtful way of doing it and i also noticed today before i finished the conversation he only put one 'x' at the end of text which he never done that and thats the giving me the friend sign to me and i know stupid that i got upset coz of that as well as him telling me that its a bad thing that hes starting to become like me and his mind thinks we should be close mates

Like **** talk about heartbreak..... But seriously i really wanted us to work
I think the moment i knew what point he was making was when he texted " we would still be hanging out in college"

This is how this conversation started so he texted saying "i feel like i really love you the same reason i cant be with you ever since i been with you i become someone else this is what my head been telling me i just dont feel like myself i been alone most of my life"

And **** i was so confused i missed the fact he added "i cant be with you" in that paragraph and so
Hes basically breaking up with me coz hes starting to become someone else... Meaning me like.. wtf just happend like what changed

I didnt think he is becoming like me like .. shall i admit to him he's laziness is making me lazy... But im i gonna break up with him because of that?.....no i aint but he... Well he thinks hes becoming stubborn like me... I aint stubborn its just me messing around just trying to be cute with him

I just dont know anymore i slept with him over his atleast ten times now i always find the time to see him like twice a week and respect him and dont rush him into things until hes ready

I thought he was happy with me like he says to me in person and he made me really happy even if i struggle to show emotions in words but what tf do i do the next time i see him i wouldnt be the same with him after what hes telling me like i probably wouldn't want to hold hands or kiss or hug as much as i used to or maybe i wouldnt want to sleepover again how can i be mates after a connection like that... Hes the best bf i ever had and... This is how its gonna end?

I need advice pls or anyone experience or any of the lads felt this way towards a girl who knows
Heyo. Ngl I think you should end it with him. It seems like you’re doing things to *make* him love you. Do you think the spark’s gone? You’re doing what you can to accommodate him but what is he doing for you?

From my personal experience when something like this happened and they started questioning things, it occurred because they started liking someone else. They tried to make it seem as though I was just assuming things. I’m not saying that’s the case for you, but you should ask him.

If you can’t feel the same comfort you felt when you first met him, you should end it. Although in many cases trying to make it work is good, it’s the beginning of your journey. You still haven’t met new people. There’s no rush. If you feel like the relationships just going to be longing itself out and doesn’t have that love you want, leave it.
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Surnia
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Get off text and TALK to him, phone or Facetime. There's a massive lack of basic communication here, even down to him thinking you're being stubborn and you thinking you're messing around, but witholding affection is going to put people off.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Heyo. Ngl I think you should end it with him. It seems like you’re doing things to *make* him love you. Do you think the spark’s gone? You’re doing what you can to accommodate him but what is he doing for you?

From my personal experience when something like this happened and they started questioning things, it occurred because they started liking someone else. They tried to make it seem as though I was just assuming things. I’m not saying that’s the case for you, but you should ask him.

If you can’t feel the same comfort you felt when you first met him, you should end it. Although in many cases trying to make it work is good, it’s the beginning of your journey. You still haven’t met new people. There’s no rush. If you feel like the relationships just going to be longing itself out and doesn’t have that love you want, leave it.
I think your right about doing things to make him love me i do think the spark is going for him he has done things for me he got me a necklace for Christmas and something for valentines he walks me back home and he didnt do that for his pervious girlfriends and he was planning to get me something for my 19th

This morning he texted "u ok x" and i said no and he was like "whats wrong x" its like he doesn't realised how much he hurt me and the kisses he never just put one he puts two or three

I have thought maybe he likes someone else but he says things like he wouldn't cheat because it would break his heart more knowing he hurt me and he wouldn't pick anyone else (he says theses things in person)

I have thought maybe giving him a break which is what im doing now so he can think about what he wants, he said to me sometimes he likes being on his own and he aint good at making decisions
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Get off text and TALK to him, phone or Facetime. There's a massive lack of basic communication here, even down to him thinking you're being stubborn and you thinking you're messing around, but witholding affection is going to put people off.
We do talk in person about theses things not just text hes more honest person than me so i sometimes find it hard talking about my emotions in front of people coz i learned they werent important as kid with the parents i had they messed with my emotions so i trend to show it in a different way by hugs etc.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think your right about doing things to make him love me i do think the spark is going for him he has done things for me he got me a necklace for Christmas and something for valentines he walks me back home and he didnt do that for his pervious girlfriends and he was planning to get me something for my 19th

This morning he texted "u ok x" and i said no and he was like "whats wrong x" its like he doesn't realised how much he hurt me and the kisses he never just put one he puts two or three

I have thought maybe he likes someone else but he says things like he wouldn't cheat because it would break his heart more knowing he hurt me and he wouldn't pick anyone else (he says theses things in person)

I have thought maybe giving him a break which is what im doing now so he can think about what he wants, he said to me sometimes he likes being on his own and he aint good at making decisions
That would be a good idea, taking a break. You’ll know what you want and he’ll know what he wants. Work on yourself and do things that make you feel happy and allow you to love yourself. I saw you replied to another person about you not being able to express your feelings properly and that’s completely normal. I guess you both don’t truly understand each other’s love language! Once you both realise that, it’ll make it easier cause people like reassurance in any way yk?

Also, you should try to stop comparing yourself to his exes and what he did for them cause then the bare minimum will seem like a lot.( I mean like helping you with things (if he didn’t help his exes but he helps you, you’ll think that’s amazing but that should be done regardless ygm?- that was just an example)).

If you want to talk about it lmk
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That would be a good idea, taking a break. You’ll know what you want and he’ll know what he wants. Work on yourself and do things that make you feel happy and allow you to love yourself. I saw you replied to another person about you not being able to express your feelings properly and that’s completely normal. I guess you both don’t truly understand each other’s love language! Once you both realise that, it’ll make it easier cause people like reassurance in any way yk?

Also, you should try to stop comparing yourself to his exes and what he did for them cause then the bare minimum will seem like a lot.( I mean like helping you with things (if he didn’t help his exes but he helps you, you’ll think that’s amazing but that should be done regardless ygm?- that was just an example)).

If you want to talk about it lmk
Thanks for the reply i appreciate it alot, i think a break from seeing him will maybe make him realise what he wants i will still message him and i know he will message me saying u ok and that like what he did before this happened but i decided to wait till he wants to see me as i know i trend to be the one asking him what day he wants me to go to his rather than him asking

I forgot to mentioned that he feels that i treat him more as a mate than a bf it got me confused as i treat him just like any other gf treats their bf, by being there for him always and making a effort to pop over and see him and meet his family and they liked me however i have no idea what their opinion is on whats the situation is
He has felt that i was embarrassed by him and he knows i dont show affection in front of my family we do hold hands in public, he hasnt been round mine yet he met my mum and her partner and my half siblings but not properly.. My mum is strict and her partner has rules as he pays everything in the house and i also share a room with my younger sister and i wouldnt think it would be right if he stayed over a night and i dont have a good family background and i fear if something happened (arguments or disagreement) my bf is the type to not be afraid to say his opinion on things and he feels he might say something stupid to my mums partner because he doesn't think before saying things and

I tell him that nothing will happen i just never brought a mate or bf over to mine before because of problems at home and arguments and the state i was living in compared to them and i felt more comfortable going to their house.

I might be comparing alittle of his ex's but he admitted hes bad at making decisions but i don't get how he changed all of sudden and the things he was saying i believed him that he was happy with me and he wouldn't change it for the world but i just don't know now whether he wants this or to be friends
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for the reply i appreciate it alot, i think a break from seeing him will maybe make him realise what he wants i will still message him and i know he will message me saying u ok and that like what he did before this happened but i decided to wait till he wants to see me as i know i trend to be the one asking him what day he wants me to go to his rather than him asking

I forgot to mentioned that he feels that i treat him more as a mate than a bf it got me confused as i treat him just like any other gf treats their bf, by being there for him always and making a effort to pop over and see him and meet his family and they liked me however i have no idea what their opinion is on whats the situation is
He has felt that i was embarrassed by him and he knows i dont show affection in front of my family we do hold hands in public, he hasnt been round mine yet he met my mum and her partner and my half siblings but not properly.. My mum is strict and her partner has rules as he pays everything in the house and i also share a room with my younger sister and i wouldnt think it would be right if he stayed over a night and i dont have a good family background and i fear if something happened (arguments or disagreement) my bf is the type to not be afraid to say his opinion on things and he feels he might say something stupid to my mums partner because he doesn't think before saying things and

I tell him that nothing will happen i just never brought a mate or bf over to mine before because of problems at home and arguments and the state i was living in compared to them and i felt more comfortable going to their house.

I might be comparing alittle of his ex's but he admitted hes bad at making decisions but i don't get how he changed all of sudden and the things he was saying i believed him that he was happy with me and he wouldn't change it for the world but i just don't know now whether he wants this or to be friends
The part where you said he feels like he’s being treated as a friend, I think he struggles with understanding how you show your love and affection. You should try to talk to him before you both take a break and talk about how you struggle with expressing your emotions. I’m guessing yours is physical touch? Do you know what his is? That’s really important cause then it shows you both that you do like each other but have a different way of showing it.

In regards to you not bringing him home, that’s completely understandable given the circumstances. If you want to spend time together, you could try a hotel or something Idk.

Sometimes people like to be closed off and disconnect from others (I tend to feel that way). Maybe he just needs time to himself to feel like himself? He seems like a good guy and is trying not to hurt your feelings but can’t seem to express verbally about what he’s feeling or thinking.

You should talk to him and tell him that you’re there for him and there to just listen. (Did you both straight away become a couple or did you both become friends then a couple?)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The part where you said he feels like he’s being treated as a friend, I think he struggles with understanding how you show your love and affection. You should try to talk to him before you both take a break and talk about how you struggle with expressing your emotions. I’m guessing yours is physical touch? Do you know what his is? That’s really important cause then it shows you both that you do like each other but have a different way of showing it.

In regards to you not bringing him home, that’s completely understandable given the circumstances. If you want to spend time together, you could try a hotel or something Idk.

Sometimes people like to be closed off and disconnect from others (I tend to feel that way). Maybe he just needs time to himself to feel like himself? He seems like a good guy and is trying not to hurt your feelings but can’t seem to express verbally about what he’s feeling or thinking.

You should talk to him and tell him that you’re there for him and there to just listen. (Did you both straight away become a couple or did you both become friends then a couple?)
I trend to show my emotions physically and he does both physically and by words i told him i find it hard to say i love you back to him in person as i never been told this before so i aint used to it and also this isn't my first relationship its my first proper relationship i had

I said im there for him and i did care alot and i was gonna give him a break to think things through and i messaged him earlier asking what i was to him and what we were and he texted "Really fort about it I think Im really to say I really love you but I feel like It isnt what it was when we started I always seem to make u upset means Im hurting u for dumb words I'll always be here for u ain't leaving u like that" and he said he was sorry that i was heart broken and he doesn't blame me if i hate him and i said i got over what he said before and i dont hate him

I asked what we were (mates or together) but he seems like he cant give me an answer to that, a staight answer and to me we still together but on a break
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Anonymous #3
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Are you white and British?
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jas149
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Are you white and British?
how is that relevant?
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by jas149)
how is that relevant?
I want to know the context and background of the OP so I can give relevant advice
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I trend to show my emotions physically and he does both physically and by words i told him i find it hard to say i love you back to him in person as i never been told this before so i aint used to it and also this isn't my first relationship its my first proper relationship i had

I said im there for him and i did care alot and i was gonna give him a break to think things through and i messaged him earlier asking what i was to him and what we were and he texted "Really fort about it I think Im really to say I really love you but I feel like It isnt what it was when we started I always seem to make u upset means Im hurting u for dumb words I'll always be here for u ain't leaving u like that" and he said he was sorry that i was heart broken and he doesn't blame me if i hate him and i said i got over what he said before and i dont hate him

I asked what we were (mates or together) but he seems like he cant give me an answer to that, a staight answer and to me we still together but on a break
I’ve had similar experience. They suddenly kind of distanced themselves but it was because of the lack of communication and I struggle with saying I love you and stuff (cause I hardly hear it so it’s foreign to me & idk how to accept it I guess). They kind of just stopped loving.

Please, just end it because you’re going to drain yourself emotionally and mentally if this continues. We need to accept that they’re no longer who they were in the beginning and attempt to move on. If you question where you both are at and he’s trying to form excuses as to why he wants to stop and take a break, it’s not worth it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Are you white and British?
Weird question but Yes i am
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve had similar experience. They suddenly kind of distanced themselves but it was because of the lack of communication and I struggle with saying I love you and stuff (cause I hardly hear it so it’s foreign to me & idk how to accept it I guess). They kind of just stopped loving.

Please, just end it because you’re going to drain yourself emotionally and mentally if this continues. We need to accept that they’re no longer who they were in the beginning and attempt to move on. If you question where you both are at and he’s trying to form excuses as to why he wants to stop and take a break, it’s not worth it.
Im glad i aint the only i been messaging him and trying to get through to him most of the day and he says it aint my fault and hes been feeling like it for awhile and just wants to be alone and
i knew that i needed to cut the days down seeing him and just wait till we back at college in march which is 2 weeks away which would be the longest time not seeing him and maybe me seeing him twice a week put pressure on him and was too much for him and maybe a break is the thing he needs right now

I know it's draining me already and i got a very long gcse exam tomorrow and i dont how thats gonna go while dealing with this and i aint the sort who gives up on things i like to figure it out and fix it

Hes saying hes not the same man he used to be and doesn't know what love is which i can relate to but when i was at his he was saying because of me he knew what true love was but what changed? He admit i was the only woman who made him happy but i probably weren't enough for him
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